Pick Me Up

Blinkers

It's been two weeks.

Two weeks of boredom and lonesome...and thinking about Taylor, and why he had to go and ruin it. I don't think I can say anymore, I have repeated myself to Lily so much I'm starting to sound like a parrot.

I have had messages from Taylor, but I blocked him so he couldn't send me anymore. Lily continues to try and get me out the house, but whatever she suggests I just don't feel like doing it.

The first week was the worse. We made the food baby, and then we made another one, and another, and another until it looked like I was going to actually have a real baby. I couldn't stop thinking about Taylor, every time I closed my eyes he was there and all the rest of that cliché shit.

I couldn't even sleep! And I thought that only happened in movies.

The second week Lily became pushier, I mean we weren't even in a relationship and I'm still acting as if the sky has fallen. We walked to Neena's, but that's as far as we would get without me remembering something about him, and then like a switch I was back to being a depressed bitch.

And her begging for me to go out continues in the now, as she is currently pulling my arms through a jacket as you would a toddler. Her frustrated sighs echoing when I refuse not to help her. She insists that we should go to Neena's for a hot chocolate, even though I'm pretty sure that they close at five o'clock and it's currently eight.

"Lily I'm not in the mood." I say for the fifth hundred time in the last two weeks. My arms finally though the jacket and my shoes now on my feet.

She gives me a begging face, her bottom lip slightly sticking out. "I know but please...for me." The guilt tripping begins.

"I really don't want to." I wine like a child, but as I object I'm already following her out the door.

She grabs my hand, pulling me along. "Come on you sook."

We decide to walk, because 'physical exercise makes you happy', although as she says that I didn't see any sign of the car. I hope she didn't break it.

Walking towards Neena's we make light conversation, the night's dark and we tend to talk about feelings when the sky is dampening the light around us.

"I've been giving it a thought." I confess to Lily, kicking an empty soft drink can around the footpath.

She gives a small 'mmm', indicating that she is listening, and has been for the past couple of minutes to my mumbling.

Taking a deep breath I rush out. "I want to go see the Christian grey look alike." Not really knowing why that felt like a big ball in the back of my throat.

I look at Lily waiting for her reaction, but as we turn the corner a sly smile marries her face, she looks to me and then back in front.

"Maybe you should put a hold on it for a while."

I look forward to see what the strange, almost orange strobe lights, glow that I saw out of the corner of my eye.

Cars have parked themselves right on top of the curve, a line being formed from the very top of the street all the way to me. All motor vehicles had their blinkers on, somehow, stimulusly, blinking at the same time. The orange light bounces of the walls in pulses, illuminating the street for seconds and then bringing it back to almost darkness.

Why are the dozens of cars parked here at night? And why does each one of them have their blinker on? Not that I'm complaining, the sight brings a very confused but contempt feeling to me.