Don't Fall for the Big Bad Alpha

Chapter 3

I watched Theo warily as I sipped my tea from my favorite mug, the warm drink not as calming as it usually is. With Theo around, I'm constantly on edge, my guard is always up.
He was pacing around my living room, on the phone with his beta. His pacing was making me nervous but I don't want to tell him to stop in case he gets mad or something, my last alpha hit his mate whenever he got mad at her. And I'd like to avoid any sort of situation like that. Especially after my last boyfriend...
I lost my train of thought as he slammed his hand on my coffee table, I hadn't even noticed him sit down on the couch. I jumped, my tea nearly spilling all over me. I looked up at him with wide eyes, carefully setting my mug down on the counter behind my as my hands shook. I took cautious steps forward, away from my kitchen counter as I watched him put his phone away. He looked up at me as I did so, and I saw the anger clearly in his eyes. I stared back at him worriedly, hoping he would calm down so nothing bad would happen.
Last time I saw that much anger in someone's eyes, it was my old alpha, and he decided to take his anger out on his mate and she didn't leave the bed with the pack doctor by her side for three weeks.
I froze when he stood up, facing me, the anger still clouding his eyes. He took a step towards me and I took a step back. He didn't seem to notice and kept walking towards me and I took another step back for every step he took forward. But his longer legs made his steps move him farther and he got closer to me sooner than I anticipated. My eyes widened as he stood right in front of me, his eyes narrowed. My breath hitched and I froze, bracing myself for the impact of him hitting me.
After a moment of nothing happening I looked up at him, only to find his eyebrows scrunched in confusion and his eyes looking from mine to my defensive stance.
"What?" I asked, my eyes still wide and my stance not changing.
"Why are you standing like that?" He asked, his voice has an undertone of worry but I wasn't sure if I was imagining it.
"L-like what?"
"Like you're trying to defend yourself."
"I don't know what you mean..."
"I think you do." He said, anger flooding his voice once again.
"Please don't hit me!" I accidentally blurted out when I saw him move his hand up.
His hand fell to my cheek where he gently cupped it and I now realized that was what he was doing all along as his mouth dropped open in shock.
Tears immediately came to my eyes once I realized what I did and I covered my mouth with my hand, still in slight shock. I took a step back and almost tripped, my eyes wide as I held the counter behind me so I was stable. I pushed myself away from him, scrambling towards my room.
"S-sorry, I-I'm sorry." I said shakily as I left the room.
Once I got in my room I closed the door, my breaths coming out heavy as my entire body shook. Finally the tears fell, and I sat down on my bed, hugging a pillow to my chest as I cried, trying not to have a panic attack. I ran a shaking hand through my hair, tugging on it. I needed to calm down but right now I just couldn't seem to do that. My throat started closing up and it became harder to breathe, causing me to cry more. I didn't want this. I hated this. Why does this happen to me?
Vaguely I heard my door open, but I decided to ignore it in hopes that I just imagined it and it wasn't actually happening. I didn't want him to come in here. I didn't want him to see me like this. He couldn't. He'd surely reject me then.
I tried to pretend I hadn't heard the door open but I couldn't deny it when I heard his voice.
"Alexandria?" He said, his voice filled with worry and I felt his hand land gently on my back.
I couldn't respond in my current state so I just hid my face in the pillow, not wanting him to see my face that was sure to be red and tear stained. A shudder went through my body as I thought of my last boyfriend, and how he hit me, and how he'd always pretend he was going to comfort me only to rip me up by my hair and beat me, usually taking advantage of me after, while I was weak and vulnerable. I remember having to hide bruises and scars from my family and friends and knowing how to cover them up and what products work best to do so. I remember being terrified to break up with him, because he threatened to kill me if I did. I remember shaking in fear every time I thought of him. I remember crying myself to sleep on a nightly basis. I remember-
My train of thought gets cut off when Theo sits down in front of me and gently pulls the pillow away from me and towards him, but I cling to it as he does so, not wanting him to see my face.
"Alexandria, sweetheart, let go of the pillow and look at me. Please sweetheart come on. Look at me, look in my eyes. You gotta calm down so we can talk about this. Come on, just let go of the pillow." He said softly, gently prying my fingers off of the pillow.
When he finally managed to get the pillow out of my grasp he set it down next to him, and held my hands in his. I kept my head down, sniffling as tears continued to trail down my face. He softly ran his thumbs across my knuckles, trying to get me to look at him on my own time. It wasn't working.
"Alexandria, come on sweetheart, please just look at me. I'm trying to help, I want to make it better. Please love, you're breaking my heart." He said sadly while gently moving his hand to tilt my chin up, finally making me look at him.
I looked at him through watery eyes, my bottom lip quivering slightly as I tried to hold in the tears. I slowly moved my eyes up to meet his gaze, and as soon as I looked into his deep brown eyes I froze, my breath hitching in my throat. He was looking at me with this worried gaze, as though I were worthy of his time and concern.
"I-I, I'm sorry, Th-Theo, I didn't m-mean to I-" I stuttered, my voice shaky, until he interrupted me.
"Hey hey hey, don't apologize, you're alright love. I promise. You're okay, you're safe, I'm here, and I don't know why you thought I'd hit you but I promise you that I will never ever hit you. Ever. Alright?" He said, reaching up to wipe my tears.
"A-alright." I whispered.
"Come here love."
He carefully tugged me towards him, pulling me close and wrapping his arms around me. My hands landed on his chest and I just kept them there, laying my head on his shoulder. He gently ran his hands up and down my back, leaving trails of sparks behind wherever he touched. I let myself relax a little under his touch, a small smile on my lips at the comfort he was able to bring me. And it was a real, genuine smile, something that I rarely have. I slowly let my hands fall from his chest to drape lazily around his waist. I felt him let out a sigh which seemed to me to be in relief, as he realized that I was slowly letting him in. It was silent for a while, and I almost fell asleep right then and there, but eventually he spoke.
"Alexandria?" He said, not moving from our current position.
"Hmm?" I mumbled, readjusting my head on his shoulder so I was more comfortable.
"Can we talk? About what happened?"
"Well yeah, but I need you to promise me one thing. Wait, nevermind. It doesn't matter because it won't happen anyway."
"What were you going to say love?"
"I was going to say promise you won't get mad but you won't because you don't know me well enough to care enough to get mad."
"You never know love I might. And if not me, my wolf might."
"I-if your wolf takes over w-will he h-hit me?" I asked so quietly I thought he might not hear.
"He better not even come close or I'll kick his ass for it."
"So he m-might?"
"No love I don't think he will. He's telling me now that he won't."
"O-okay."
"Hey, you're safe okay? I promise I'm not gonna let anything happen to you."
"Okay."
"Whenever you're ready love."
"Okay well, I guess first of all my old alpha beat his wife really bad whenever he got mad. And you're an alpha, so I guess I just thought it'd be the same with all alphas. And..."
"And what? What else love?"
"Well, my ex, you see, he was very abusive, and he would beat me and take advantage of me and I had to stay with him for the longest time because he threatened to kill me if I broke up with him. Eventually I just did it anyway and I didn't care if it got me killed. Anything was better than how I was living."
"I'm so sorry love, don't worry, I won't let anyone hurt you like that ever again. But please never think that you'd be better off dead again. I may not know much about you but I know that I can't lose you. I want so badly to get to know you."
"You're not mad?"
"I am but I'm keeping it under control, love. It's okay. And I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at the bastard who dared to lay a hand on you. You deserve so much better than that. I just hope I'll be the one to give that to you."
He whispered the last sentence so quietly that I'm sure he thought I hadn't heard him, but I had. And it shocked me, because I honestly thought he didn't care for me much at all, that he just wanted to fuck me and get rid of me.
"But... I thought... What?" I stumbled over my words, not sure what to say.
"What's the matter love? Why do you seem confused hmm?" He mumbled as he moved to trace his lips over my neck.
My breath hitched in my throat at his actions and I froze, unable to speak. My hands moved again, this time trailing up to his shoulders where they held on tightly as my head moved away from his shoulder and tilted to the side to allow him better access. I say my hands and my head do this as I seem to have no control over my actions as he drives me fucking insane with his.
He moves his soft lips to the area where I would be marked, and gently nips at it, causing my back to arch at the sparks that shoot through me immediately.
I barely manage to hold back a moan as he begins to suck on the area, and I bite down hard on my tongue in order to keep myself quiet. His hands move down my back to the bottom of my tank top, moving up underneath it and squeezing my sides. I inhale sharply, not knowing how much more I can take before I begin acting like I'm in heat. My nails dig into his shoulder as I try to move closer to him, my hips moving across his lap subconsciously, causing him to let out a low growl, squeezing my sides again as he buried his face in my neck. His hands slowly slipped down to my hips, gripping them tightly.
"Don't do that again, kitten." He spoke, his voice husky.
"Don't do what?" I breathed, my mind was too overwhelmed by everything I was feeling to focus on what he was talking about.
"Don't move your hips like that again unless you want me to do unspeakable things to you right now in your bed."
Secretly I wouldn't mind if he did. And usually, in any other situation, I would let him.
But he's my mate, so it seems...different. I don't know. I feel like I should make him wait, even if only just for a little while. I guess because if we did mate, it would mean more, because he's an alpha and he's well, my mate.
"If only it were a different situation I might do exactly what you told me not to and let you do said unspeakable things, but...you're my mate, and it's different.." I whispered, not wanting the moment to end but knowing it had to.
"What do you mean, kitten? Are you saying if I were a different guy you'd let me?" He growled the last half.
"Before I met you I would've. Now that I have a mate...not so much. It's just different because right now, there's no such thing as casual for us. If we did do something everyone in your pack would know because I would smell like you, and they'd be expecting me to be around all the time and for us to have a pup soon. And that's just not a commitment I'm ready to make. I'm sorry." I spoke softly, trying to move off of him, but he gripped my waist and kept me in my place.
"It's okay, I understand kitten. But please, do try not to tease me. I can't take a cold shower every time you move your hips against me, even if on accident."
"I didn't mean to, but it's not fair because you were teasing me." I grumbled, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Me? Teasing you? I would never." He whispered against my ear before nipping at it with his teeth.
I growled at him, extremely frustrated with his actions.
He pulled away smirking, seeming very pleased with himself.
"Don't you dare be pleased with yourself for that or all you'll ever do is please yourself-literally." I said looking him dead in the eye.
The smirk immediately fell from his face.
"You don't mean that." He said, his eyes wide.
"I do." I said, raising my eyebrows at him.
"You mean you'll never-"
"Nope."
"You won't even-"
"Never."
"Not even a-"
"No sir."
"But that'd be hurting yourself-"
"No, I could just find some other guy to fuck. It'd be much easier for me than it would for you, dear alpha."
"No. You will not go near another guy for that purpose. You're mine." He growled, squeezing my hips as if that helped prove his point.
"If you don't apologize for what you did I will."
".....I'm sorry." He mumbled under his breath.
"I'm sorry what was that? I didn't hear you."
"I'm sorry." He said slightly louder, but still extremely quietly.
"What?"
"I'm sorry." He finally said loudly.
"Good boy." I said, petting his head.
"I'm not a dog." He grumbled, rolling his eyes and looking away from me.
"Yes you are. You literally are."
"No, I'm a wolf."
"Dog."
"Wolf."
"Same thing, dog."
"If I'm a dog then you're a bitch."
"I'm a bitch either way. You're a dog."
"No."
"Would it make you feel better if I said you're my dog?"
"No."
"Fine then. I guess you want to sleep on the floor instead of in my bed tonight."
"Wait what?"
"Mhm."
"Wait, you were gonna let me sleep in your bed?"
"Yeah..."
"I thought you didn't like me."
"I guess you're growing on me. Besides, after what happened earlier, when I was upset, I kinda realized that you're not as bad as I thought you were."
"Really?"
"Yeah.. I mean, I was full on ugly crying and I told you I thought you were going to hit me and I told you an important detail of my past and instead of bailing like anybody else would you stayed, told me it was okay, said you'd never hit me, and comforted me. To me, that's a big deal. That means a lot to me after some of the stuff I've been through. So yeah, I was gonna let you sleep in me bed with me tonight. If you wanted."
"Well...does the offer still stand?" He asked, grabbing my hand and playing with my fingers.
As I laced my fingers through his he looked up at me, and I nodded, still not looking away from our intertwined fingers. He began to gently run his thumb back and forth against mine, sending calming tingles all throughout my hand. A small smile played on my lips as he grabbed my other hand as well, our fingers immediately entwining. My smile grew a little more, loving the feeling of calmness he caused me to have.
"If you'll still have me, I'd love to take you up on that." He said as I leaned forward to rest my head on his chest.
"Mmmm if you can answer one question correctly then I'll allow it." I mumbled, cuddling into him and enjoying the heat radiating off of his body.
"Okay, what's the question?"
"Who's a good boy? Who's my good doggy? Hmm? Who is it?" I cooed in a baby voice, sitting up to ruffle his hair and grin at him as I said it.
"I am." He grumbled lowly, grimacing and looking away from me.
"Who is?"
"I. Am." He said louder through clenched teeth.
"Yes good boy." I grinned triumphantly.
He just rolled his eyes at me and I moved to fix his hair back from where I messed it up. I gently ran my hands through it in the direction he styled it, pushing it back where it went. I noticed his eyes close as I did so, and even after it looked okay I decided to keep doing it, since he seemed to be enjoying it so much.
After a little while of that, he let out a short sigh before reaching up and grabbing me by my wrists, pulling my hands back down, away from his hair. I just looked at him, why was he making me stop doing something he enjoyed?
"Aren't you tired, love? It's almost 2."
"I mean, I guess, but I'm always tired so..."
"Do you want to go to sleep?"
"Do you?"
"I want you to get some rest so you're not exhausted. And so you have the energy to maybe do something with me tomorrow? We can just go grab lunch or something or maybe go for a run?"
"O-okay...sure. I'm just gonna go change first..um, I guess I'll have to find something I can wear to bed." I mumbled the last part under my breath, my cheeks heating up.
"What?"
"Huh?"
"What do you mean you'll have to find something you can wear to bed?"
"Umm, nothing?"
"Umm, something?"
"I just meant...ya know...I don't normally wear much clothes to bed." I mumbled, barely forming actual words.
"What? I can't tell what you're saying, kitten."
"I don't normally wear clothes to bed, okay? So I don't exactly own pajamas or anything. Geez. I'm walking away now."
I walked away from a confused looking Alpha and went into my closet, making sure to close it behind me. I dug around for something suitable for bed, unsure what to wear considering I left my pajamas back home since I never wore to them anyway. I literally have nothing to wear. What am I supposed to do? I don't even know what normal people wear to bed anymore. Hmmm, maybe just some athlete shorts and a tank top will do? Yeah, that's good enough, no problem. I quickly pulled on a pair of black compression shorts and a black tank top before walking out of the closet back to my room. I walked over towards the bed and sat down, plugging my phone up to the charger before pulling the blanket up to get under it and get comfortable. As I lay down and turned over on my side, I noticed that Theo was only left in his boxers and his black t-shirt, his dark jeans and his socks and shoes discarded near the door.
He lay down next to me, turning over to face me. We stared at each other for a while, and while part of me was telling me I shouldn't even have him in my bed, the other, slightly larger, part was telling me to move closer to him and lay in his arms, to get the result my wolf, and therefore I, wanted. To let his arms hold me protectively as we drifted off to sleep, to feel the warmth he radiated, to let the tingling sensation I felt when we touched lull me into a peaceful sleep which I don't often have.
I listened to the greater part of me, and cautiously moved closer to him. He met me in the middle, and rested his hand on the side of my face as he gently tilted my head up to face him. I looked into his eyes, searching for something, what I was searching for I had no idea. The corners of his mouth turned up in a gentle smile, and the happy, peaceful expression took my breath away. His smile was to me the one thing I've come across in my life that I seemed to never want to stop seeing. And it reached his eyes, his eyes that in the short time I'd known him had at times shown me everything he felt and at other times shown me nothing.
His eyes currently showed me that he was happy, truly happy. Oh, good. Good for him. I hope he holds onto that happiness and never loses it, because it is a terrible feeling to be unhappy.
"Get some rest, Alexandria." He spoke suddenly, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Goodnight, Theo." I said softly as I rolled over once more and I felt his arms wrap around me.
I smiled at the tingles running up and down my body, at the warmth his presence gave me, and I allowed the combination of those two things to help me fall into a deep, peaceful sleep that my mind and body were both more than grateful for.
****
Over 3840 words, and 41 pages later, I've finally fixed the problems in the book (yeah, remind me to never fall asleep with wattpad open again.) Now all three chapters I have written are up, and there will be more to come soon. Thanks for reading and sorry for the mishap, hopefully it will never happen again. Thanks again, bye for now.