Don't Fall for the Big Bad Alpha

Chapter 6

*1 week later*
Over the course of the week Theo has spent as much time with me as he possibly could. He's taken me on many amazing dates but also just hung out with me around the apartment. He's done exactly as he said he would, he's been working very hard to get to know me. And in return I've gotten to know him. I feel like I know the majority of the things he could tell me about himself, and vice versa. We still haven't discussed why I got kicked out of my old pack, however. I'm trying to find the right way to tell him. I just don't know if I can tell him without feeling the same self hatred I felt when I did it, even though I had no choice in doing it.
I was shaken out of my thoughts when I felt strong arms wrap around my waist from behind. I grinned as I turned around to face him, kissing him.
"Hey, love," he mumbled against my lips.
"Hey," I responded, smiling as I looked up at him.
"You look absolutely gorgeous, as usual."
I glanced down at my outfit once more, feeling slightly self conscious. I had decided to wear a dress I had recently bought, since all Theo had told me about where we were going for dinner was to "dress nice." So here I am, in this gorgeous maroon velvet mock-neck dress that has mesh with a long cut-out on the back. I had fallen in love the minute I saw it, and refused to leave the store without it. I had paired it with some plain booties and a simple necklace, not thinking the dress needed anything more.
"You like the dress?" I asked, tucking my hair behind my ear shyly.
"Of course, I like anything on you."
"Oh stop you wouldn't be saying that if you had shown up and I'd been standing here in sweats and an oversized t-shirt with my hair messy and no makeup on."
"I would too still say that. You're gorgeous no matter what."
"Whatever you say, let's just go already."
"No, not whatever. You really truly are gorgeous, love. I want you to believe me because what I'm saying is true."
"You are far too good for me," I sighed, holding his face between my hands.
"No, but I'll take it since you're no longer arguing with me."
He pecked my lips once more before leading me to the car and opening my door for me. I got in and thanked him, watching him nod in response and close my door quite dramatically. He ran around to his side, hopping in and starting the car. My heart fluttered as he started driving and almost out of habit reached over for me, his eyes not straying from the road for even a second. His hand found mine, and I watched as our fingers intertwined, as if they were meant to be together. I looked over at him, noticing finally how good he looked but also wondering what was going through his head. He was focused on the road ahead, but his eyebrows were scrunched together and he seemed tense.
"Hey," I spoke softly wrapping my free hand around the other side of his hand that was holding mine, "what's wrong?"
"What? Uh, nothing," he mumbled, seeming shocked that I asked.
"Theo, you can talk to me. I'm your mate, you can trust me. Just tell me what's wrong?"
He hesitated, before speaking, "on my way here, my beta informed me of an issue in the pack. I asked him to handle it, and I trust him, but I'm still worried that he can't take care of it himself. I'm sorry, I hope knowing this doesn't ruin your night."
"No, it wouldn't ruin my night, but maybe dinner can wait a little longer."
"Huh?"
"Theo, your pack needs you. I'm not going to stand in the way of that. Look, the pack house is in this direction anyway, just go there now and we'll go have dinner later. Okay?"
"But-"
"No, it's okay. I want you to do what you need to. I don't mind."
"I thought you didn't want the pack to see you?"
"Well, they're going to eventually, so I guess now's as good a time as ever. Just so long as we don't do that whole big Luna introduction ceremony thing soon. I'm not quite ready for that."
"I wouldn't dream of rushing you into something you weren't ready for, love. But thank you, so much. You're going to make an amazing Luna. My amazing Luna," he said, looking at me with a smile that made my heart warm before kissing my hand and switching lanes to get to the pack house faster.
Upon arriving at the pack house, Theo parked in the driveway and got out, coming around to open my door and grabbing my hand as he led me toward the door. I let him keep holding my hand, needing something to calm my nerves. After tonight, everyone will know that their Alpha has found his mate and Luna.
He paused as he had his hand on the doorknob, stopping and turning to me.
"I know you're nervous, and I know that you feel unsure of how the pack will accept you. But I can almost guarantee that they will love and accept and support you, because you're their rightful Luna and you're meant to be a part of this pack. And I-"
I cut him off, pressing my lips to his hurriedly.
"I know, I know. I'll be okay. I trust you so I know I'll be fine. Thank you," I said when we pulled apart.
He smiled, kissing me one last time before turning back to the door. I hurried to grab his hand again, still needing some reassurance. He squeezed my hand as he opened the door and we walked in, everyone immediately turning to us as they sensed both their Alpha and a rogue in the room.
I put myself somewhat behind Theo, not wanting them to stare at me the way they were. They stared at me with hate in their eyes, all growling at me as they sensed I was the rogue.
"Theo.." I whispered, unsure of what I should do next.
Suddenly Theo let out a thunderous growl, shaking the room. Everyone went silent. Theo pulled me to stand next to him rather than behind him, his arm wrapping around my waist as he began to speak.
"How dare you disrespect my mate, who is your rightful Luna. From now on you treat her with respect. Understood?"
A gasp was heard through the crowd, many of them looking from Theo to me in shock.
"Am I understood?" Theo growled, silencing them again.
"Yes Alpha," the group said in unison.
I looked around, seeing just under 100 werewolves crowded in the room. They all looked at me in wonder and confusion, and I wanted to hide from their prying eyes. Instead I stood tall, leaning into Theo slightly in a way they wouldn't see.
"Good. Now where is my Beta?"
"In your office, Alpha," someone called out from the crowd.
He nodded, before walking towards the stairs, keeping me at his side. As we reached the floor just below his, we turned and walked down a hall. At the very end of the hall there was a set of double doors, which Theo opened and led me into. Sitting at the desk was a man who looked Theo's age, with shoulder-length brown hair and pale green eyes. He looked up as we entered, and I fully expected him to growl at me in disgust, but instead he simply bowed his head.
"Alpha, Luna," he said, getting up from the seat.
"How did he-" I began, about to ask Theo how he knew who I was.
"He's my Beta, but also my best friend. I couldn't just not tell him that I'd found my mate. Sorry love," Theo stated, kissing my cheek at the end of his apology.
"Well, I guess I can't be mad. Brie did interrogate me about you that day at the bar."
He grinned at me before turning back to his Beta.
"Alex, this is my Beta, Matthew. Matt, this is my mate, Alexandria."
"Nice to meet you," I said, stepping forward to shake his hand.
"Nice to meet you too, nice to finally put a face to the name."
I smiled, stepping back to Theo's side. He wrapped his arm around my waist as I turned to him.
"You haven't been saying bad things about me, have you?" I pouted at him.
"Never, love," he responded leaning like he was going to kiss me but I pushed him back.
"No sir, you have work to do. If there's anything I can help with let me know, but first show me where the nearest bathroom is please."
"Alright come on, love."
Theo showed me where the bathroom was, and then went back to his office.
I stood in front of the mirror, holding the counter to support myself. I took a few deep breaths, calming myself. On the outside I had been smiling, but on the inside I was still freaking out. I splashed some water on myself, avoiding my face so I didn't accidentally mess up my makeup.
After a couple minutes I was feeling slightly better, so I left the bathroom and was about to head back to the office when someone stopped me.
"Excuse me, are you the rogue who's supposedly our future Luna?" The girl with the dirty blonde hair and blue eyes asked me.
Her voice sounds so familiar...
"Yes? Can I help you?" I responded politely.
"Yeah, you can leave now. Alpha Theo doesn't need you anymore."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. You're just a joke. Even if you were his real mate, he'd still drop you. He has a Luna picked out, and it's not you."
"Oh? And I suppose it's you?"
"Yes! You catch on fast."
"Mhm okay. Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something, so if you don't mind," I said, trying to step around her but she didn't let me.
"Not so fast. I'm not done yet."
"What else could you possibly have to say? I thought you'd made your point."
"No. See, I can tell by your tone of voice that you don't believe me. So let me clear things up for you. Theo doesn't need an ugly rogue whore like yourself by his side. You're useless. Therefore, he wouldn't even want you. Hell, who would want someone like you? Not any of the guys in this pack. Oh and one last thing, Theo wouldn't even fuck you and get rid of you. He has very specific...needs. And you don't meet the requirements. So you see? You really are completely and utterly useless."
I watched as she sauntered off, my brain spinning.
The overall point of what she said didn't bother me, I knew Theo wouldn't have lied when I asked him about other girls.
It was individual things that brought my past rushing back to me. I'd forgotten about it over the past week, pushed it from my mind. But it was those words again.
Useless.
Nobody would want you.
Stupid whore.
You're practically stuck with me considering nobody else would ever want you. I don't even want you, but I'd hate to ruin your life by leaving you.
You're such an ugly bitch.
Good for nothing.
Dazed, I let my feet lead me without paying attention to where I was going. I was too lost in thought to realize that the office was one way and I was going the opposite, towards the stairs to be exact.
When I finally stopped I was shaken out of my thoughts, and I realized I was on Theo's floor, standing right in front of the bar.
I didn't have to think as I walked behind it, my eyes scanning over the shelves. As I passed over the scotch, I stopped and grabbed it. I poured myself a glass, keeping the bottle out instead of putting it back. I knew I'd be going back for more very soon, even if I did fill my glass quite high. I was once again lost in thought as I drank.
•••
Theo's P.O.V.
After a while I realized that Alex had been gone for over an hour. I had gotten caught up in my work, not realizing how much time had passed until now. As we were beginning to wrap things up I asked Matt if he could wrap it up on his own, telling him I needed to find Alex after he agreed.
I decided to start with the few places of the house she knew, starting with the bathroom and then slowly making my way upstairs while checking around for her.
When I finally found her, she was sitting in the dark at the bar in my living room.
"Alex? What are you doing in here?" I asked, walking towards her.
"I helped myself to your scotch. Hope you don't mind," she responded, her voice empty and emotionless.
"Well no, love, I don't mind, but why? Why didn't you come back to the office? Why'd you come up here just to drink by yourself?"
"I needed to be alone."
"Why? Please talk to me, love. Tell me what happened."
"I had a wake up call."
"What?"
"Some girl, she reminded me of the things I learned in the past. Before I came here. I had forgotten, like the stupid bitch that I am."
"Alex! Don't say stuff like that. Not about yourself. You're too good to be saying stuff like that about yourself."
"No, I'm useless. A whore. Stupid. An ugly, good for nothing bitch who nobody could ever want. I knew it already, she just reminded me of what he taught me."
"Alexandria this needs to stop. Now. Who is she?"
"Some girl. Came up to me after I left the bathroom."
"What did she look like?"
"Why's it matter?"
"Just answer the question please."
"I dunno, dirty blonde hair, blue eyes. Skinny. Far prettier than me. She also told me she was who you'd picked to be your Luna, that you'd never have someone as useless as me as your Luna."
"Alex, love, come sit on the couch with me, okay? Come on, we gotta talk."
I carefully coaxed her out of the chair, guiding her over to the couch. I sat her down, and then sat so I was close to her but we could be face to face.
"Sweetheart, you gotta listen to me right now, okay? I need you to really listen. And don't argue, just listen and know that I'm telling you the truth. Understand?"
"I guess."
"Look at me, please, love."
She slowly looked up, meeting my eyes. I saw that her eyes were blank, she was practically looking through me.
"How could anyone do such things to make you like this? How could your ex treat you so terribly? I'm so sorry love... if I had found you sooner, maybe he wouldn't have-"
"No. Stop. You can not blame yourself for what he did to me. That is not your fault. If it's anyone's fault it's mine for being stupid and naive. Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid... how could I have been so stupid?" She cried, tears falling from her eyes and her hands tugging at her hair.
I quickly grabbed her, pulling her against me and holding her tight. I half expected her to push me away, but instead she turned more towards me and cried into my chest. I gently picked her up, setting her back down in my lap. I tried to calm her down, whispering calming words in her ear, gently running my fingers through her hair.
At some point she seemed calmer, but still crying quietly. I carefully leaned back until I was laying down on the couch, bringing her with me. She let me lay her down and readjust so she wouldn't be uncomfortable, not saying a word the entire time.
"Alex, love, I need you to know that you're not stupid or naive. He did something terrible to you, and that is in no way your fault. Okay? And I will not let you continue to blame yourself for his horrible, unacceptable actions. I-" Alex cut me off before I could continue.
"Shh, it's okay. I'm gonna be okay, and so are you. I'm better, now. Just, don't worry, for now, okay?" She said, her voice soft and tired, her words coming out slow.
I was shocked by the amount of pain I could hear lingering in her voice, but I could tell that she didn't want me to continue to argue with her.
"Okay, love, if you insist. Do you want something to eat? We never made it to dinner, but I can have someone bring something up for us."
"Okay," she said quietly.
"What would you like, love?"
"What are my choices?"
"Anything. You name it and I'll have someone make it."
"How about something simple, I don't want to trouble anyone."
"Love, it's no trouble, if you can just name something you'd like to eat..."
"Just get like a pizza or something like that, I guess."
"Okay, love. Pizza it is. I'll tell someone to bring it and then how about I find you some clothes to change into hm? You can stay here, with me, tonight."
"Alright."
I quickly mind-linked someone to make and bring up a large cheese pizza. I then carefully got up, picking her up and cradling her in my arms. She looked at me in shock, but I was just happy because that's the most emotion she's shown without crying. She finally stopped looking shocked, and wrapped her arms around my neck as I walked to my room. Once I was inside I laid her down on the bed, watching as she curled up on her side and stared up at me with tired eyes. I couldn't help but smile at her, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her forehead. I could feel her watching me as I walked over to my dresser. I dug through my drawers and eventually found any smallest pair of sweatpants, and a plain long sleeved shirt. I walked back over to her, holding them out to her. She sighed, sitting up and taking them from me. She got up and walked to the bathroom, and I sat on the bed in her place.
I wish some bastard hadn't messed her up. I just want her to be happy, and even now away from him he's still causing her to not be completely happy and free from him and what he did to her. I'll just have to make sure that I do everything in my power to make her happy from now on. She deserves it.
•••
Alex's P.O.V.
I stared at myself in the mirror in Theo's bathroom. With his clothes on all I could smell was him.
I had managed to wipe away what few tear stains had been left behind on my face, and eventually scrubbed the majority of the makeup from my face. Of course some mascara clung to my lashes and some color still stained my lips, but I did my best.
Now I just need to do my best to stop my mind from going back down the road it had earlier. That road was blocked off and it should've stayed that way.
"Alexandria? Love, are you okay? You've been in there a little while," Theo called through the door.
I sighed slightly, moving to open the door as I pushed my hair behind my ear.
"What's the matter, love?" He asked upon seeing me.
I shook my head, moving to stand in front of the counter again. I glanced up at myself before looking over to him through the mirror. He walked behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Talk to me, you know you can trust me. I can't help fix the problem if I don't know what the problem is, love."
"I guess I'm just nervous about...things. You know what, don't worry about it. I'm completely fine."
"No, love, you're not. I can tell. Please just tell me what's wrong, so I can try to help."
"I guess I'm just nervous that everyone in your pack will hate me like that girl did, and that I won't be able to stop myself from having a breakdown every time someone says something to me that he used to say to me. I can't be your Luna, if I'm weak."
"No, love, first of all, you're not weak. You went through something awful and you're still being affected by it. It's not your fault that it still hurts to be told the things he told you. Besides... nevermind, I'm not sure you want to hear it."
"No, tell me, what?"
"Well, I may have already heard some pack members talking..."
"They hate me don't they?"
"Actually, they're so excited to meet you and find out more about you. They can't wait for you to be their Luna. Rogue or not, they just want their rightful Luna with their Alpha."
"Really?"
"Really."
"But, I thought they hated me, after what happened earlier when we came in..."
"No, they were just following their instincts because all they smelled at the time was a rogue. They're genuinely excited to meet you. And maybe it was just me, but I also heard something about how you're gorgeous and perfect for the Alpha of this pack."
I turned to roll my eyes at him, looking over my shoulder at him. But all I was met with was a wide grin and his eyes looking at me in a way I never thought anyone would look at me.
As I saw the grin on his face I turned around fully and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him. He put his hands on my hips, pressing me against the counter as he moved closer to me.
"Did I happen to tell you that I love seeing you in my clothes?" He mumbled against my lips, picking me up and sitting me on the counter.
"You just did," I mumbled back, letting him move to stand between my legs.
"Mm, I guess you're right but that wasn't the point."
"Doesn't matter, 'cause I'm right."
He chuckled as he pulled away from me, his lips trailing along my jaw and down my neck. He had just reached the place where I'd be marked when there was a loud knock from his main door.
"Alpha? I have your pizza," someone called.
I sighed as Theo pulled away from me, going to get the door. I hopped off the counter, leaving my folded up dress on the counter and my heels on the floor. I walked into the living room, seeing Theo close the door with one hand while the other held a tray that held a large pizza and plates. He set the tray down on the coffee table before walking over to his kitchen of sorts. It was just past the bar, and it really just consisted of a fridge, microwave, a couple cabinets and a sink. He opened one of the cabinets and pulled out two cups, turning to look at me. I walked over to him, kissing his jaw softly as he pulled me into his side.
"What do you want to drink, love?" He asked as he opened the fridge.
"I'll just have water, but, thanks for everything, Theo. I know that I've kind of had two too many emotional breakdowns in front of you in the time we've known each other, and the fact that you just calm me down and tell me it's okay rather than rejecting me or treating me like I'm completely unstable and can't do anything, or something like that, means so so much to me. So thank you."
"Alex, love, I don't care if you have breakdowns that include you throwing things across the room and screaming multiple times a day. I'm not letting you go, and I'm not going to alienate you for no reason. I refuse to do that. Okay?"
"Okay. Thank you."
"No need to thank me, love. Just be with me, is all I ask."
I nodded, turning and wrapping my arms around him. I let my head rest against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me and held me tightly. I felt him kiss the top of my head, and I closed my eyes as I tried to make this moment last as long as possible.
"Love, why don't you go ahead and go sit on the couch while I get our drinks? I can tell you're tired so the sooner we eat the sooner we can get in bed," Theo said, pulling back to look at me.
"Okay."
I did as he said, going and sitting on the couch. I watched him, biting my lip as I saw how the thin shirt he had on hugged him perfectly.
He walked over to me, setting the two cups that he held in his hands down on the table. He sat next to me, giving me my space but also staying close enough that our legs touched if I leaned to the right.
I reached over and grabbed a plate, picking up a piece of pizza and setting it on the plate. Theo's hand rested on my thigh as he turned the TV on and flipped through the channels. When he finally settled on something he set the remote down and reached for the other plate without taking his hand off my leg. I finished my one slice and was done, moving to lay next to Theo on the couch while I waited for him. He finished quickly after that, moving to put the tray on the counter so it wasn't just left on the coffee table all night. I tried to help him clean up, but he wouldn't let me. He made me stay where I was on the couch while he did all the work.
I hadn't realized that my eyes were closing and I was beginning to drift off. That is, until Theo came and began to pick me up.
"Wha-" I mumbled, my eyes barely opening as he cradled me in his arms.
"Shhh, it's okay love. I'm just taking you to bed. Go ahead and go back to sleep," Theo said, hushing me as he headed to his room.
Soon I was being put down gently on his amazingly soft bed, the blanket pulled from underneath me and settled on top of me. I curled up on my side, looking up at Theo. He smiled, brushing some hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. I lifted my head up as he walked away, wondering where he was going. I watched as he grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. I let my head drop back down onto the pillow with a sigh.
When he walked back out I looked up to see him walking towards the bed with some black sweatpants on and no shirt. I bit my lip as I looked at his muscular body, and as he sat down on the other side of the bed with his back facing me he stretched and my eyes went wide. I briefly wondered if he knows what he's doing to me.
When he turned around I had managed to make myself look tired again, as if I hadn't even noticed what he did. He settled down on the bed, smiling at me as I watched him. I smiled softly back, moving closer to him. He pulled me as close to him as I could get. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, my hand trailing up his chest. His hand gripped my waist, squeezing lightly.
"I wish we didn't have to wait..." I mumbled as we separated, only for his lips to trail down to my neck.
"We don't have to, love, no one's forcing us," he responded, his lips soft against my skin.
"But it feels like we should, because of the pack, and because of me being a rogue.."
"We can fix that. You can become part of the pack."
"Not until you know why I became a rogue."
"Love, I can't do anything about that. You have to tell me, when you're ready. I'm not going to force you, so therefore I have no control over when that will happen."
"I know, I know...I'm sorry. I want to tell you so badly but I'm scared...no, I'm fucking terrified. Okay? I said it."
"Hey, you know I won't make you tell me until you're ready. I won't make you tell me at all. I just want you to know that I will understand, no matter what it is, love. And my feelings for you won't change."
A tear trailed down my face, and I quickly wiped it away, blinking back any other tears before they could leave my eyes. Theo kissed my forehead softly before laying back down fully. He pulled me into his side, wrapping his arms around me almost protectively. I curled up to him, my hand resting on his bare chest. He reached up and grabbed my hand, our fingers entwining. I looked up at him and he smiled, and I couldn't help but smile back. Resting my head back on his chest, I let my eyes close. I felt calm, safe. And all thanks to Theo.