Shit Happens (A Day to Remember)

7: In Too Deep

Song: In Too Deep - Sum 41

McKenna

I would say my first show with A Day to Remember was a success. I mostly assisted at the merch table, but partway through the show I slipped away to watch from the side of the stage. Every time one of the boys saw me they would wave at me or make a silly face.

I was the first one on the bus after the show. The guys stayed inside the venue, avoiding mobs of kids, but I went back to the bus to shower and eat. I had a pretzel during the show, but that and breakfast were the only things I'd had to eat.

After I had showered and ate, I went into the back lounge with the intention of playing a video game. I was able to turn the tv on before my phone started ringing.

"Hello," I tried to sound cheerful. It was my mom.

"Why did I have to hear about you leaving the band from a news article and not from you?" She demanded. I could tell she was more concerned than frustrated, but she still wasn't happy.

"Nice to hear your voice too, mom." I rolled my eyes.

"Hi, Honey." She sighed. "I'm sorry I snapped. I'm just worried."

"I know mom. I'm sorry. I should have told you." To be honest, I hadn't even thought to tell my mom. But now I was starting to feel guilty.

"What happened? Everything I could find didn't say anything about why you left."

"I didn't leave, I was kicked out." I said quietly.

"What the fuck?" She exclaimed. I laughed lightly to myself. She always did have a potty mouth. "By who?"

"The whole band. Sam cheated on me." I bit my lip. I felt myself getting emotional and I wanted it to stop.

"That fucking bastard. With who?"

"Olive."

"Your best friend Olive?" I could tell she was fuming.

"Yes. Don't say anything about it to anyone though. If anyone asks, I left the band for personal reasons."

"Okay." There was a pause. "Are you coming back home?"

"No," I replied with slight hesitation. I knew she wanted me to. "I actually got hired on as another band's assistant."

"Really? Who?" She sounded pleasantly surprised. I heard the bus door open and several sets of feet stomping up the steps.

"A Day to Remember. Tonight was my first show with them. They're just getting back on the bus. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay, honey. I love you."

"Love you too mom." I ended the call just as Jeremy walked into the back.

"Who were you talking to?" He asked, tiredly sitting next to me.

"My mom. I kinda forgot to tell her about this whole thing and she found out through a news article." I explained.

"You forgot to tell your mom about all of this?" Jeremy looked amused. I nodded and he laughed. When he laughed, I felt a funny little feeling in my chest. "So how'd the night go for you? You going to be able to do this every night?" He asked.

"Oh yeah." I nodded. "I look forward to doing it every night." I chuckled.

"Good." He smiled at me. There it is again, that feeling in my chest. Fuck. I smiled back. "Why is the tv on?"

"I was going to play a game right before my mom called me." I shrugged.

He stood up and grabbed two controllers, offering me one. "I challenge you to a game of Mario Kart." He smirked.

"You're on." I took the controller.

Our duel was pretty intense. He won a few games, I won a few games. Neil and Josh played a few games with us. It was fun. At probably around 2 am is when I decided to call it quits for the night.

"Oh c'mon!" Josh whined.

"I have to be up early in the morning." I whined back. I looked at Jeremy and Neil. "So do you two. You have an acoustic set at 9."

They huffed and decided to go to bed as well. Josh stayed in the back lounge, watching a movie. Kevin, Adam, and Alex had already gone to bed.

I grabbed my favorite sweatshirt, a black hoodie with Green Day's logo on it, and some pj shorts out of my backpack and changed in the bathroom. I walked out of the bathroom saw that Neil was waiting to use it as well.

"Goodnight, Mikey." He said, pulling me into a quick hug.

"Goodnight, Neil." I walked into the bunk area. Jeremy also gave me a quick hug before we climbed into our bunks and went to sleep.

I was used to the nearly constant moving bus feeling from touring with my band, or ex-band I suppose, but tonight the ride seemed extra bumpy. I woke up around 4 and could not go back to sleep. I gave up after a while and went into the back lounge with my laptop.

I decided to post on my tumblr a little bit more about why I "left" the band.

So I'm sure its no news to you that Paper Dolls and I have parted ways. I do not wish to go into details about why I am no longer in the band, so please don't ask. I will say though that I'm very sorry. I don't know the future plans for the band but I do know my plans for the future. I've been hired on as the band A Day to Remember's personal assistant and I am now touring with them. A bit of a change of plans, but hey, shit happens. I love you all so much. Thanks for the support.

I read it over probably 15 times before deciding there was no other way to write it. I posted it, extreme anxiety overwhelming me. I felt tears slipping from my eyes. I wiped them away with my hoodie sleeves but they just kept coming.

I heard the back lounge door open and I tried to look like I hadn't been crying but it was useless.

"Can't sleep either?" It was Jeremy. He sat next to me and gave me a concerned look. I just shook my head. "Want a hug?" He offered a sympathetic smile. I nodded. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in close to him. He was warm and he smiled good.

"Thank you, Jeremy." I sniffed.

"You're welcome, Mikey." He said calmly. "I've been told my hugs are magic."

"I'd say so." I laughed and pulled away from the hug. It felt good to laugh.

"What is Mikey short for?" He asked randomly. "I know you told me but I forgot."

"McKenna." I wiped my eyes again, getting rid of whatever moisture was still there.

"Do you not like McKenna?"

"No, I do actually. I just had a friend with the same name and it was confusing so I started going by Mikey." I shrugged. "I actually quite like McKenna."

"Can I call you McKenna?"

"Sure." I smiled.

Jeremy and I talked until 8 when I had to make sure Kevin and Neil were awake for the acoustic set (Neil wasn't.)

I sat in the back of the crowd and watched their acoustic set. One kid actually recognized me and asked for my autograph and a picture. They told me they were sad about me leaving the band, but they understood.

I watched as the boys as they played. They sounded wonderful. I found myself paying the most attention to Jeremy. His voice mesmerized me. Occasionally he'd smile in my direction and my heart would do that fluttery thing. I knew I was starting to like him. I didn't want to like him; having feelings for someone you share a small living space with 24/7 didn't exactly work for me last time, but I knew I was in too deep.