Once Upon A Thought

H&E (Ed Sheeran) Prologue

Everything is blurry. I might not be a nurse or doctor, but I know something is wrong. Not only is it blurry, but everything is going by fast. I hear people trying to talk to me. Or maybe they're trying to talk to someone else? I can't tell, because the only thing I'm worried about is my unborn baby boy inside me. The memory of what happened is hazy and I don't even think I want to remember, but I'll try anyway.

There was a guy when I walked outside of my house to get the mail, no wait I was going on a walk. The next thing I know is a guy asking for my wallet, which I didn't have on me, then he pulls a gun out. The next thing I know is hearing a loud sound and a pain in a side, followed with the blurriness. But I thought I saw my best mate, Ed, coming towards me? Which would explain why I hear his voice now. Then here comes another wave of pain, but this one's different. Wait...they're telling me to push! I can't! Not without Harry here and I'm not due until two more months! He's not ready! I realize I must not be saying any of this out loud, because they aren't stopping. Or maybe they aren't listening to me? So I begin to push, harder, and harder. Until I hear nobody talking anymore. I see him, the little body in the doctor's arms, then everything's black.

I try to open my eyes, but the light it really bright and it hurts to open them all the way. I hope everything I just experienced was a dream, but when I finally open my eyes I find it to not have been a dream. I try to sit up and Ed is there to help me. "Where's..." I begin to ask, but then the door opens and I find Harry at the doorway. He gives me a worried look and I just know something is wrong. "Harry. Where's Edward? Where's our son?" I ask right away as he comes over to the bed. I try to move, but then remember the shot wound because of the jabbing pain.

I guess I winced from the pain, because I looked over at Harry and he's now crying. "Harry. Please", I beg him. "I'll give you two some time to talk", Ed tells us. I begin to protest, but he waves away my potential words with his hand and leaves the room. I'm now looking at my beloved Harry with so many thoughts going through my head. "Ed called me when they were taking you to the hospital. He didn't know where you were shot", Harry finally begins to tell me. His thought train probably was thinking the baby could've died and I could've been dying too. Then he continues, "You didn't hear how he sounded. I thought I was going to lose you both." Then he puts his hand over mine and looks me straight in my eyes while saying, "I can't lose you Em. I don't know what would happen to me." He gets up and close to me. I nod to him and he comes in and kisses me. Not a peck, but an I don't want to be without you kiss.

As he pulls back I feel tears begin to fall down my face. "Harry what happened to Edward?" I ask one last time. He looks away and doesn't answer right away, instead his tears only increase. I shake my head and push him away from me. "No. No. NO. Please tell me it isn't true", I beg to him. "It's not like that, don't worry Emily. He's alive, but in really bad condition. He can't breathe on his own", Harry quickly responds. My breathe hitches and I ask, "Can I see him?" He looks at me, then looks away. "You can't. You had surgery right after giving birth and you aren't allowed to leave the bed, while he can't leave the incubator. I turn away from him and demand, "Get out." Harry begins, "Emily...", but I interrupt with, "No. I thought you'd be on my side. I don't care about myself when there's a chance he could die. You want me to just sit here and be ok with that?" He looks away from me again and doesn't say anything. "Get out", I tell him again. I know I shouldn't be taking my anger out on him, but I thought he'd at least try to understand. He's the one that gets to see Edward and I can't.