Wars Will Rage (SVU Fanfic)

38

~1 week later~

Nicole still wasn't the same. She felt dirty all over again, but not because of her rape, but because she wanted to have sex so bad to get over it. How she chose someone like Jack to do it with.

She felt so used. So unhappy again. And she knew all the adults in her life would notice. She didn't want to spend more one in doctors offices and therapy sessions than she already had to, nor did she want to have her mother watching her food intake anymore.

But today, Monica and Chris were coming over. The rest of her friends were coming in the days after that, but her two oldest, closest friends made sure to be there as early as possible.

It was 2PM, and Nicole was to expect them at 2:30.

And she looked like she just rolled out of bed, because, well, she did. She threw her hair in a ponytail, knowing her greasy hair wouldn't look right down. After that, she washed her face to awaken her skin, but still put on enough concealer to look normal.

It was minutes away from 2:30 when Nicole had fully gotten ready, which included changing into regular clothes and brushing her teeth. She impressed herself. Getting ready in under 30 minutes? For a non-school day? New record.

Obviously, her friends wouldn't be there exactly at 2:30, but she still needed to give herself a mental pep-talk.

Things will be fine, she thought to herself and she paced the basement floor. You'll have a good time with your friends. You won't think about Jack. You'll feel better.

Nicole heard Olivia call her name from upstairs. The call sent her stomach to the floor.

Her friends were here.

Act normal. Act normal. Act normal.

She ran up the stairs, realizing Monica and Chris were on their way down, and met her best friends for a hug in the kitchen.

"I missed you guys so much," Nicole said, trying not to cry. She couldn't cry. She was still under radar.

"How are you doing?" Monica asked sincerely. When Nicole went to stay with Rick, she hung out with those two. They knew she was raped. Now they'd be extra careful around her.

"I'm doing okay," she lied as she led them down the stairs. Chris and Monica left their bags against the wall and then sat on the couch, either side of Nicole.

"Anything new happening?" Chris asked.

"Not really," she lied again. "Just trying to get through the day."

"It'll get better," Monica told her.

Nicole didn't believe her. She sat, staring at the ground, waiting to see how long it would take for her to explode.

"Nic?"

Nicole slowly lost the ability to hear what was being said around her. She brought a trembling hand to her mouth, teeth starting to bite down on her fingernails.

Tears trailed from her eyes and she couldn't control it. Not that she noticed.

Chris and Monica looked at each other, both thinking she was even worse than right after the rape.

"Nicole?" Chris said, "Hey."

Nicole came back to reality, hearing her name. She saw Chris with his hand on her shoulder, trying to get a reaction out of her.

"Did something happen?" he asked. She knew her friends were smart. And with the way she was acting, they would totally know something happened to her.