Wars Will Rage (SVU Fanfic)

45

This has taken FOREVER to update and I know. I'm sorry. Here's another chapter!

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"Well, it's looking up for you, Miss Benson, isn't it?"

"I guess?" Nicole said, chuckling. In all honestly, when she was with her doctors, friends, or siblings, she was happy. Very happy. But when her mind took her to those dark places, it was hell for her. Nicole was now being taught to bring those happy thoughts among herself, instead of relying on the feeling of being with others to help her stay happy.

"I'm so glad. You've come such a long way since we first met. Your weight has remained at the same number for the past weeks. I think your body finally figured you out."

Nicole smiled.

The two finished up their session and Nicole took the bus home. When she made it in the house, she knew only the little ones would be home, along with the babysitter. Upon entering the house, Nicole relieved Lucy and then went downstairs while holding her brother.

As she made her way to her bedroom, Nicole remembered what she had thought about in the earlier hours of the day. Retracting back was something Nicole was very good at, so it didn't take her a long time to just let Arron sit on the floor while she got lost in thought.

Running away. An action child very rarely performs. It's a threat to one's parents that at bratty child makes when they don't get their way. Was she bratty? For wanting better for herself? Sounded more selfish that anything.

"Ninni!" Arron called out as he walked to his sister.

"Yeah?" Nicole responded, the nostalgia hitting her like a brick. Both Paige and Zach used to call Nicole 'Ninni'. Nicole let her brother walk up to her and press one of his toys to her chest.

"Oh, thank you!" Nicole said, pulling her baby brother to her. She tickled him to elicit his little baby laugh. Arron soon grabbed his toy back and went to keep playing on the floor.

Could she run away from this? From the innocent, happy moments she shared with him? With Paige? The late night talks she had with Lizzie? Or when they'd bang on the walls as a form of communication. Could she leave getting into arguments over the shower with Dickie?

And her parents. They'd be devastated.

Or would they?

It would be less money and stress over keeping her happy, which was pointless anyways, because she still felt as if she wasn't happy. Lizzie could watch the kids good enough, right? Paige trusted Lizzie. She'd have an older sister.

Looking at the clock on her phone, she knew the baby should be getting to bed. So Nicole got Arron changed into his pajamas and put him to sleep. He was an easy baby, which meant he fell asleep without giving Nicole much trouble. She watched him for a little while, tears forming in her eyes, feeling as if this little moment was a goodbye.

That's when she realized she had her mind made up, that she was leaving. It was just a matter of packing and heading out.

She grabbed her backpack and put toiletries, her laptop charger, laptop. and any other little things in it. Bringing her phone was against the rules, since she could easily be found if she had it. She grabbed a medium sized duffle from her closet and week's worth of clothes in it. One extra pair of shoes, money, and a couple pictures of her siblings went in with her clothes, then she zipped it shut. She was used to not eating, so she could make her most recent meal last.