Run (Disasters in Love: Book 1) (Part 1 COMPLETE)

Chapter 4

Kat
December 31, 2004

*

Same day

*

I know it's dumb, because I really want to kiss him but I know better. My mind is so disappointed with my body right now. I can't believe I asked him, god he probably thinks I'm desperate... or a total whore.

I take him in with a sideways glance. His muscles are bulging out of his tight T-shirt. His curly brown hair is just messy enough to look effortless, but he probably spent a lot of time on it.

He is obviously a womanizer, he literally oozes sex appeal. I cannot let myself fall for a guy like this. I will only get hurt, like with the jerk who will not be named. I will not fall for him.

Ben leans in close to me. I can feel his breath on my neck, but I'm afraid to turn towards him. I might not be able to wait until midnight to kiss him. I will not fall for him.

"Hey, what's going on?" I hear his voice faintly in my ear.

I turn, surprised by the question. "What?" I can't remove the look of shock on my face. Why does he even care? What should I tell him? I'm not good at lying, but I can't tell him the truth.

Crap, I just realized how close our faces are. His eyes are intense and his lips are so... tempting. I will not fall for him.

The sincere look on his face is almost convincing, but there's no way he really wants to know. I know guys like him and they don't care. Guys like him only care whether they can get in your pants or not. Asking him to kiss me wasn't a great step in the plan to not fall for him, but like usual Vanessa bullied me.

"I don't know what you are talking about." I decide to pretend... Okay, I know it is technically a lie. I already know it's going to fail because nobody ever believes me when I lie, apparently my face gives away too much or something. They make it sound like it's something I need to change, but it's my face, what can I do about it?

He looks at me hard and with his stature, it is almost intimidating. "No really, Kat."

"I... uh..." Oh no, this isn't good. I want to tell him all my secrets. I need to stop drinking, I'm not thinking clearly. I need to make rational decisions. I will not fall for him.

"Yes?" He asks me, with a cocky raised brow.

"I... uh... uhm... you see..." I lick my lips and his eyes dart down to my mouth. His gaze returns to my eyes as he prompts me to continue.

His body is calling to mine. I lean forward, needing to be closer to him, longing to breathe him in and taste him. I've never been so ready for a kiss, especially with a complete stranger... not that I kiss a lot of strangers.

Shoot, was I saying something?

"I think you might be bad news." Crap. I inwardly cringe. I didn't mean to say that out loud.

He smirks, showing his adorable dimples. "Bad news, huh?" God, he is so sexy. I am so screwed. I will not fall for him.

"Mmhmm..." is all I get out before the countdown to midnight begins.

"Ten." His eyes make their way to my mouth.

"Nine." He licks his lips.

"Eight." He leans in until we are touching.

He slides his hand to caress my neck.

"Seven." His eyes burn with desire as they meet mine.

"Six." My body screams at me to kiss him, while my brain yells at me to stop.

"Five." It's just a kiss. I will not fall for him.

"Four." He leans in until I can feel his breath on my lips.

"Three." I'm breathing him in. It's intoxicating.

"Ready?" He asks into my mouth. I manage to whimper, but the 'no' refuses to leave my mouth.

"Two." I will not... I will not... do something.

I could get lost in his eyes.

"One." Shoot... what was I doing again?

"Happy New Year," he whispers as his lips gently brush mine.

The room erupts around us, but it all fades away when his soft lips meets mine. When his mouth begins to move against mine, it feels so right.

It feels like this kiss is waking me up from a deep sleep that I didn't even realize I was in. I feel alive and powerful, but nervous and scared at the same time. This is so good and so very bad.

I never want this kiss to end, I want him to deepen it and take it further, but he doesn't. He keeps it gentle and slow. Forget his eyes, I could get lost in his mouth.

All too soon, he pulls back.

Immediately I feel lost and confused. I wanted so much more of that. So why did he stop? Maybe it's me. I'm probably a terrible kisser. Oh god, what if I am a terrible kisser? How do you know? Can I ask him that? No way, that would be too awkward.

What was I thinking? This kiss was a terrible idea. Why did I ask him? Why? This was so stupid.

I cover my mouth with my hands, as embarrassment seeps into me. I need to know what I did wrong.

"Was it bad?" I try to hide the hurt from my face, but I can feel the sting of tears in the back of my eyes. I blink to remove them, but they threaten to spill over.

He just stares at me with a stunned look on his face. Oh no, it was even worse than I thought. He hates me and he's probably trying to wipe the kiss from his brain. Or maybe he's trying to plan his escape.

"Ben?" I try to shout over the sound, but everyone is celebrating around us. He looks frozen. Did I break him?

Crap, is it possible to break someone with a bad kiss? Do they send an ambulance for that?