Run (Disasters in Love: Book 1) (Part 1 COMPLETE)

Chapter 23

Ben
February 20, 2005

*

Same day

*

I have no idea how long I've been awake, just staring at her peaceful face.

Who am I?
What is she doing to me?

It's probably bordering on creepy, but I'm afraid to move even just to catch a glimpse of the clock.

What if I wake her up?

Will she run away again?
Will she say it was another mistake?
Will she ever say yes to dating me?

Pretend dating, of course. Pretend.

When I woke up last night and felt the empty spot next to me, I thought for sure Kat had left me.

Again.

Not that I can blame her. I would probably run from me too.

What a weird thought. What if Kat was messed up like me and I was like her? Would we still be in this fucked up situation?

At least she would be the one wanting more with me, instead of the other way around.

Fuck.

I can't even think about Kat being with a bunch of guys. Even just one guy makes me want to punch something.

She's so innocent and perfect, like an angel.

Shit, I'm not saying I'm good enough, at all, but is it wrong to wish, deep down, that she's saved herself...

For what?

For me? For our fake relationship?

Yeah, good one, Ben. You are seriously fucked up.

If she's an angel, then I'm a demon.

I will never be good enough for her. She deserves so much more.

I don't deserve her at all. She needs to be with someone who loves her.

You know, someone who cherishes her and thinks the sun shines out her ass. Like how Nate feels about Vanessa. He just knows she's the one. Is it really that simple?

How the fuck does he know for sure?

I doubt I will ever find my "One", but I'm sure Kat will.

I just hope it's long after I'm gone or I might punch the guy.

I press my lips to her forehead, before I can stop myself.

Her body jolts, before she flips onto her back. Should have known better, idiot.

Her eyes open slightly, before she throws her arm over her face, groaning.

I chuckle. She is so fucking adorable.

"So glad I amuse you." Her voice scratchy as she lifts her arm to glare at me.

"You're not a morning person, are you?" I laugh, she has no idea.

She always amuses me, even when she looks like she might castrate me.

She groans again, rubbing her eyes. "Shut up. It's too early for you be this cheerful." She rolls over to face me again, smacking my bare chest.

"I would say you woke up on the wrong side if the bed, but you would just blame me for that." The truth is, I don't want her to have an excuse to never sleep next to me again.