My Cutthroat Romance

Chapter 5 - Pirelli's Miracle Elixir

As he lay, trying to sleep, Gerard’s thoughts would not move from Mr. Todd and his razor, not to mention his apparently very short temper. God knows what would’ve happened if he’d have argued anymore.

”Stop scaring yourself. He probably didn’t even realize he was doing it.” He told himself mentally.

[i]“He was perfectly aware of what he was doing and you know it.”[/i] His conscience argued.

He sighed, still trying to hunt for some thought that would ease his mind, but his thoughts continued, until he was far too tired to work his mind anymore, and he fell into a dreamless sleep without realizing. He woke to voices in the kitchen; he assumed Sweeney and his mother were talking.

“When Gerard wakes up, we’ll all go down to the market.” She said as Gerard dragged himself up.

He trudged sleepily into the kitchen, yawning and stretching. It was exactly as he had expected, Mr. Todd sitting in the chair beside the door, looking sulky and his mother behind the worktop making more pies, however pointless that may be.

“Oh, morning love. We’re going down the market this morning, so go get ready for me and we can go.” Mrs. Lovett smiled at her son.

“Yes mum.” He paused, contemplating whether to say it or not. “Good morning Mr. Todd.” He added quietly.

Sweeney looked up, surprised, not expecting to be spoken to, least of all said good morning to.

“Morning.” He replied quietly.

Gerard smiled quickly and left the room. When he came back he was wearing a white shirt with a blue waistcoat, charcoal grey trousers that were frayed at the bottom and boots. All of these items looked either grubby or worn out, as though he hadn’t had new clothes for a while, much like Mrs. Lovett’s dresses.

“All ready then?”

Gerard nodded at his mother.

“Alright, let’s go.” She smiled.

Gerard followed after her and Mr. Todd followed shortly after that, hanging back for a couple of moments more as he normally did before he had to go anywhere. Gerard half listened to his mother explaining why they were going to the market.

“He’s here every Thursday. Italian. All the rage, he is. Best barber inLondonthey say.” She told the man beside her.

Sweeney glanced at Mrs. Lovett and Gerard made a small noise of contradiction. He was annoying if anything. When they got there, they waited a minute or two before the little worker boy started advertising the Italian’s product. During those minutes Sweeney noticed the Beadle through the crowd. He took a step and reached for his razor, almost smiling to himself, but Gerard noticed and stopped him.

“Hang on.” He said firmly, grabbing his leather coat to prevent him from going any further.

Mr. Todd stood rooted to the spot for a moment before surrendering and moving back to his original place between Gerard and his mother, pulling his coat back over the holster where he kept his razors. He looked away and up to the stage and Toby, the little worker boy started advertising. Half way through it, Sweeney spoke up to Mrs. Lovett, though rather loudly.

“Pardon me ma’am what’s that awful stench?”

Mrs. Lovett glanced at him before continuing.

“Are we standing near an open trench?”

Toby’s voice grew louder and he attempted to advertise over them.

“Wanna buy a bottle mister?” He almost yelled.

“What [i]is[/i] this?” Asked Gerard when he got hold of a bottle.

“Smells like piss.” Mr. Todd said, pulling a disgusted face.

Gerard sniggered as his mother sniffed the bottle.

“Smells like…ew!” She muttered.

“Looks like piss…this is piss….piss with ink.” Sweeney went on, looking smug.

He gave the bottle back to the man who had given it to him and told him to keep it off his boots, lest it eat through them.

“Get Pirelli’s, use a bottle of it, ladies seem to love it-” Toby started again.

“Flies do too!” Mrs. Lovett called back.

The crowd laughed and a ridiculous looking man came out from the curtain behind Toby.

“I am Aldofo Pirelli, the king of the barbers, the barber of kings, e buon giorno, good day. I blow you a kiss!” The man blew a kiss.

Gerard glanced at Mr. Todd and giggled inwardly at his incredulously confused expression. The other barber continued.

“And I, the so famous Pirelli, I wish to know who has the nerve to say my elixir is piss! Who says this?” He asked.

There was a moment where everyone was silent.

“I do. I’m Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli’s elixir and I say to you, that it is nothing but an arrant fraud concocted from piss and ink. Furthermore, Signor, I have serviced no kings, yet I wager than I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank.” Sweeney said carelessly.

There was a small murmur of discussion that rippled through the crowd. Mrs. Lovett and Gerard exchanged a grin as Signor Pirelli pulled a face at Sweeney’s challenge.

“Do you see these razors?” He asked, holding two up.

The crowd was silent, which Mr. Todd took as everyone had acknowledged his friends as he turned back to Pirelli.

“I lay them against five pound. You are no match sir. Either accept my challenge or reveal yourself as a sham.” He said.

Gerard raised his eyebrows. Surely Mr. Todd would never give up his razors, or even risk losing them.

“You hear this foolish man? Now please you will see how he will regret his folly.” Pirelli said, taking his cape of and throwing it stupidly into the corner on a chair before calling his little worker to get the stage ready.

Gerard nearly burst out laughing, but managed to keep his composure.

“Who’s for a free shave?” Sweeney asked, turning back to the crowd with a smirk.

Many of the men in the crowd raised their hands and Sweeney picked two. Gerard grinned.

“I guess he’s pretty confident about this then.” He thought to himself.

Gerard took Mr. Todd’s leather jacket for him and held it over his shoulder.

“Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?” The pale barber asked when the stage was set up.

“Glad, as always to oblige my friends and neighbors.” The Beadle replied in a sickly-sweet voice.

Gerard watched Sweeney force a smile and turn away, rolling his eyes as he got ready for the contest.