Not What I Thought You'd Be | Shawn Mendes ~ Camila Cabello (ON HOLD)

~ Chapter Two ~

"The moment you realize your heartbeat paces at the thought of him no matter how much you try to forget everything, you know you loved him with all your heart."

~~~

~ Camilla's POV ~

I stand up, suddenly frozen. I was unable to move and I can't seem to be breathing.

He walks closer to me slowly. His lips twitching and he is grinning smugly. I can't seem to be able to move. I start panting, my heart beating incredibly fast. I didn't think I will ever see him again...

I don't want to see him again...

I never want to see him, I hate him...

I shake my head furiously, trying to blank out everything. I feel sweat dripping from my forehead as I look at his brown eyes, slightly creasing from the grin. His beautiful chocolate brown eyes is what got me in this mess.

~ I wanna go back, forget that it's over. Paint in black, when you left me alone ~

No! This is not possible. He can't be here after all he did. My whole body starts to shake. I scream loudly.

"No! It's going to be okay" I tell myself. He is dangerously close to me now. I shake my head hard, it can't be happening. I smell the familiar butterscotch smell mixed with his favorite cologne. Before I feel anything, I completely black out...

"Miss Cabello! Miss Cabello!" Mr. Richards shouts at me from across the classroom. I look up at him, realizing I was hallucinating.

"S-sorry, Mr. Richards. Can I please go to the bathroom?" I stammer. I look at the classroom door and see no one. I release the breath which I didn't know I was holding.

"Cami, what's wrong? You look so pale." Sky asks with a concerned face. I manage to smile at her reassuringly and walk to the bathroom quietly. The hallways are silent and my mind races back to the thoughts.

It felt so real.

I walk in to the bathroom and hold on to the stall to steady myself. It can't be true. No it is not true. He can't be back, maybe he didn't. I'm just imagining stuff, maybe I have to go back to therapy again. I stand in front of the mirror looking at the face which used to be me. I wash my face quickly and shake off the feelings.

I walk back and sit down next to Sky quietly. I take a glance at the class and see everyone doing their thing. Mr. Richards is sitting down at his desk looking down with his eyebrows furrowed. I turn around to look at Sky. I see her looking at me with worried eyes.

"What happened back there?" She asks.

"Nothing serious, the panic attacks came again. Don't worry that will be the last time" I lie. I know this will not be the last time the panic attacks come. Once it starts, it never stops but what is bothering me why would I have them again? Why is he affecting me again? I shudder out of fear, I quickly fade of the thought and look back at Sky.

She turned around to the voice of Mr. Richard.

"Class, welcome the new student! He came back from Canada this summer." he announces.

I stare blankly at my hands.

No! No, no , no it can't be him. My mind fills up with dark thoughts.

My heart racing miles per second, I slowly look up from my hand and force my eyes towards the door. I see the familiar beautiful brown eyes of the boy I once loved. My eyes wondering everywhere but him, I feel myself going numb.

"His name is Shawn Mend-" He says just as that boy interrupts him.

"Sorry Sir but I only go by Shawn" he says, then he slowly looks over the class at me. "Shawn... I was here two years ago on some work" he says, never taking his eyes off of me as his lips twitch into a slow dangerous smile and nods at me. I look away quickly and stare at my hands and they begin shaking mildly. My breathing quickens and the hairs on the back of my neck slightly tickles as he walks towards me, flinging his bag over the chair in front of me. He stood in front of me, waiting, I force my eyes up and look from his black skinny jeans over to his dangerously beautiful sculpted face and shudder ever so lightly. I feel my pulse growing faster than it already is.

"Hey, mon rêve de petite fille, how are you?" he asks slowly with a smirk on his face. I look at him disgusted and turn away my face away as I remember he called me that whenever we fought.

 Flashback 

I walk away from him towards benches at the bowling alley as he follows behind me. I feel him wrap his strong arms wrap around me protectively. I should be mad at him for going easy on me and not having a fair match but I can't for long.

I turn around to see his soft apologetic eyes, still in his hold. I throw my arms around his neck and close the distance between us by kissing him. His lips soft on mine move together in perfect pattern with such passion and then I drew it back. I look at his eyes and we stood there in each other's arms just staring at each other. I can't help but notice the sincerity in his beautiful chocolate brown eyes.

~ Used to think that we would last forever. How could I have been been so wrong ~

"From now on, I will always play fair with you" he promises.

He breaks our stare and hugs me tightly like he is afraid to lose me. He lowers his head to my neck as I feel his breath hitching sending tiny shivers to my body.

"Mon rêve de petite fille." He says and I put my hands over his chest and push him away slightly so I can look into his eyes.

~ I'm just hanging onto all the words he used to say ~  

"What does that mean, Shawn?" I ask softly, nearly a whisper. He looks at me, really looks at me then moves his head next to my ears.

"My dream girl." he whispers and I feel his warmth breath tingling my skin... My dream girl.

"You can't call me that ever again" I say through my gritted teeth. He grins and settles himself on his seat.

Why did he come back? Why did he have to come back when I finally forgot everything? Someone puts their hand on mine to stop them from shaking, distracting me from my thoughts. I look up and see Sky mouthing Everything will be okay. I smile at her but I know nothing will be alright again if he stays here.

~ Your words cut deeper than a knife, now I need someone to breathe me back to life ~

I finish the school day focusing on my studies, spending it with Sky and straight up ignoring that boy. She knew well not to ask me about anything because she knows that eventually I will tell her.