Not What I Thought You'd Be | Shawn Mendes ~ Camila Cabello (ON HOLD)

~ Chapter Eleven ~

"What I've learned is so vital
More than just survival
This is my revival." -Selena Gomez

~

~ Camila's POV ~

//PAST\\

September 17th, 2012 (Saturday, Same week)

The whole week passed by in a blink. This week is probably the first I truly enjoyed myself in a long time and I have Shawn to thank for that. We didn't really do a lot since there was school but we hung out after school almost every day. He would come over to my place to catch up on homework or watch a movie, I love spending time with him. I found happiness in small things with him.

Right now I am looking outside from my balcony, relishing the scenery and the fresh air of the beach. At times like this, I like to think over everything that has happened in the past week. I usually do it when the week is different and not the same usual depressing.

The weather is absolutely breath taking in Malibu. The beautiful clouds covering the scorching sun. I inhale the beachy air and relish it. After a few minutes of staring at the beauty of the beach, I take out a brand new diary to write about my life after Shawn came into my life. I have a diary for everything, a diary before I met Ethan, a diary after I met Ethan, a diary after his death. Everything, you name it and I have it.

Taking the new plain blue journal/diary to my bed, I wrap myself with my warm cozy blanket and start writing away my feelings.

17/07/12

Dear diary,

It has been so long since I am truly happy, four months to be exact after Ethan, my boyfriend's death. His death left me miserable, I couldn't think straight for months. Everyone around me started to get worried obviously but most importantly, everyone around me had a life that was on hold because of me.

It took me sometime accept his death but with the help of Dr. Greene, my therapist, I was able to. I started going to school after summer and decided that I won't be a burden anymore. Sky has been with me through all this along with my parents and two other best friends, Luke and Zac. Luke and Zac are my friends but they still did not get rid of their old habits to drink and party. I love them both a lot, I do but it reminds we of the time when it was the whole group together.

The first day of sophomore year in high school, it was the usual, the group would meet in front of the building and walk to class together. The only difference this time was that Ethan was not with us. His presence will always be missed by us. Even if he is not with us, he will always be in our hearts guiding us through good and bad.

There is a new student this year. Shawn Mendes. I think he may just be the ticket for me to forget and move on completely. He is really supportive and he genuinely care about me. After I told him about Ethan, he made sure to make every moment together memorable and filled with happiness and that is one of the many qualities I love about him, he never judges me and my actions.

He is like my lifeline and my only hope.

- Camila Cabello

I close the book and place it on my side table. Taking out my white flip flops, I head towards the bathroom to get ready for the party tonight. Sky will be coming in about ten minutes, it six o' clock now.