You Should Know (a Joe Sugg Fan Fiction)

Chapter Eight // Missing You

That night I tossed and turned. I longed to be held by Joe. I missed him whispering sweet, cheeky, naughty things in my ear. I missed feeling his warm body. I missed having my hands tangled up in his hair. I missed feeling small kisses on the back of my neck as I try to fall asleep. I missed him holding my hand. My heart was aching so bad and I couldn't stop it.

My thoughts turned to him and how he might be feeling. I felt his pain in my chest. I felt his tears well up in my eyes. I felt the hard plastic mattress he was probably laying on. I wanted him home. I wanted to hold his face in my hands and kiss every single part of it.

The dawn had just began to break when I decided to get up. I walked to the window and looked out over my garden. The sun was coming up over the horizon and there was a slight breeze. Birds were singing but I weren't singing with them.

I looked at Joe's draw again. Something in me clicked and I just went through it hoping to find some peace and clarity.

I took out all of the rubbish, sweet wrappers and receipts. I saw a small box, then I saw a small note book. I wondered if I should read it, completely forgetting about the box, wondering if I should invade on his privacy. Curiosity got the better of me.

I sat cross legged as I read the first page. Word by word, his emotions came tumbling out.

"I've done something really bad." It scribbled.

My eyes widened as I read on.

"I can't tell her. She'll hate me for it. I love her too much."

My heart broke into ten million pieces.

"I need to tell her at some point and I don't know how..."

I looked at the email on my phone.

"Joe?" I quietly murmured. My eyes started raining like they never had done before. My breathing became uneasy.

I got up and paced the room tears spilling onto the carpet. My mind raced with what happened that summer night. It was just an ordinary night like the others me and Gabbie shared. We lost each other. I didn't mean too. It was my fault again. It's always my fault. I shouldn't of left her for a minute.

I stopped in front of the mirror. I looked at the pathetic girl in front of me. Why was I trying to hide a murderer? Why was I more loyal to one?

I put the notebook in my bag hoping to destroy it later so no one could ever get the evidence.

I got out my laptop and logged onto Facebook. Looking through my timeline, news was spreading that Joe has been arrested for Gabbies murder.  I looked on Joe's profile and saw a photo he uploaded of us that morning he was arrested. We looked so happy. The sun bouncing off every feature of his face. I sat and swam in his perfect eyes. For a moment time stopped. I felt happy. I was happy to see him happy.

The events from that night soon began to repeat in my mind bringing me back to reality. Loosing Gabbie. Calling her. No answer. Calling Joe. No answer. Joe finding me panicked and loosing it an hour later. His face looked pale that night. He looked so tired and scared. Things suddenly started adding up.

One question kept racing through my mind. Why would Joe want to kill her though?