You Should Know (a Joe Sugg Fan Fiction)

Chapter Six // Don't Let Me Drown

I pulled up in my drive way to see Caspar sitting on the front porch in the pouring rain. I get out of Joe's car and walk up to him.

"Casp, how long have you been sitting here?" I asked concerned.

"Just a few minutes," he said though shivers. I looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Half an hour then." He corrected himself. I wondered why he hadn't let himself in as he had a key, but Caspar being Caspar, he probably had just forgotten the key.

He got up as I let him into mine and Joe's house. The familiar surroundings instantly calmed me. I walked further into the house, things didn't feel right. Things had been moved. A draw was open which contained our personal letters and details.

"Caspar, someone's been here..." I said quietly.

Caspar looked around for a weapon to defend us with. He found a cricket bat that Joe kept by the door with his other sports gear. "Stay here, I'll go check the rest of the house."

My heart was racing as I stood closely to the front door. I didn't want or need Caspar getting hurt as well. My mind fluttered back to Joe, still being held back up in Norfolk. My whole body could of crumbled, but I had to hold it together.

Caspar soon returned with news that there was no sign of anyone in the house. I sighed in relief and then panicked again. "How the hell did they get in?" I walked over to the draw set and looked through to see if anything was missing. Our passports, driving licences, even the key to my car were still there. My body shook in fear.

"What do they want from us?" I questioned puzzled. Caspar out his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm calling the police.." My heart sank. "It needs to be done."

~

"If anyone or anything suspicious happens, please do give us a call Miss Jones." The policeman said.

I nodded. "Thank you." I added as I closed the door behind them.

Caspar was sitting on the sofa looking through some documents they had given us.

"I'm scared." I admitted. I was absolutely petrified. I needed Joe.

"Look, you heard what the police said, you might of not remembered how you left things. Nothing seems to have been taken and there's no forced entry anywhere. The only people who have keys are me and Zoe." I looked down at my feet. I felt stupid. Caspar was right. "You've had a long, tough day."

Tears escaped from my eyes. Sniffing them back I looked at the door. "I need to unload the car..."

"I'll do it." Caspar offered. I nodded smiling at him "Thank you."

Later that evening, I was getting ready a bed in the spare room for Caspar as he refused to leave me on my own. Half of me was very appreciative of the company, the other half of me wanted to be left alone to wallow in my self pity. I heard a noise from the garden.

I made my way up to the window and slightly peered through the curtain to see a fox. I sighed heavily with relief.

I walked into mine and Joe's shared bedroom and collapsed on the bed. More tears started falling from my eyes. I stared at the ceiling feeling nothing but sadness. My body ached. My head hurt. My heart was heavy. I had no fight left. I just wanted the world to swallow me up.

I got up and made my way to the bathroom and stated running a bath. I stood in front of the mirror. I didn't recognise the person staring back. This girl with red, mascara stained eyes and a quivering lip. I'd never felt this much pain even when Gabbie was murdered. Joe wasn't even dead and I felt more pain than I've ever felt before.

I wanted to wake up from this nightmare and kept willing he'd walk into the bathroom and wrap his arms around me and tell me I'm safe. This wasn't going to happen. Who was I kidding.

I walked back into our bedroom and went to Joe's wardrobe. He always kept a bottle of vodka there at the back for "emergency drinking occasions" as he would call them. I riffled through throwing jeans, shirts and hoodies everywhere.

I couldn't find it. I was so desperate and I couldn't find it. I let out a whimper. My attention so turned to his bed side table. I opened the draw to find nothing but rubbish, empty sweet wrappers and receipts. I slammed the door shut in frustration and made my way back into the bathroom.

I didn't even get undressed. I got into the bath and sat down slowly lowering my torso and head into the water until I was completely submerged. 

A familiar song popped into my head.

"And I've been sitting at the bottom of the swimming pool for a while now drowning my thoughts out with the sound."

I closed my eyes and let the sounds take over my body. I didn't want to breathe. I couldn't anyway without Joe.