Lost

Best Type Of Broken

It may seem as though I'm all happy and perfect. You only see the illusion I have created for myself. When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I see the most ugly girl ever and I see so much hurt in my eyes. Whenever I take a picture I don't like it because of how revealing my eyes are. My eyes show all the pain and hurt I feel all the time; it'll never go away. This voice I have chanting in my head I've began to believe because I can't do anything right, and when I try my hardest I always mess shit up. She tells me I'm worthless and will never be anything in my life. I've started to believe her and I don't see my purpose. I still have a little light left in my heart, but it's going away. I'm afraid I won't be able to control what I do. I'm afraid I'll do something stupid, so for now I'm doing whatever I have to do to keep my light but people keep spitting on it and it is going out.

What is the point in living a life that I'm not happy in. I know people say that it gets better but it actually doesn't. If it does it just goes back to bad within days. I don't want to live my whole life like this. Feeling this way and starting to hate myself.

I honestly don't know how someone could possibly feel good about putting someone else down. In that process you also see them die inside and then die for real. What I hate the most is that reality doesn't hit them until I'm dead and gone because then you feel bad and feel sad because you can't APPOLOGIZE for anything.

I'm the best type of broken:
Beautiful
Really happy
Only faking
Kind
Endless depression
Never actually happy
I'll sit with my friends and be all happy but in reality I'm dying inside they just can't see it yet. I'm pretty sure they will start seeing it sooner or later. To be honest I don't really know.

SURPRISE CHAPTER🎀