Is-it-love?

the secret

Central park....one of my favourite places,no traffic jams,no honking, no bustling passerby.
I like to come jogging here. I love sports ,my body claim it and it's not in my tiny flat That i can work things off ! .
It's my favourite place to come and unwind! I have to say That it's of great help after a draining day at carter corporation.i've been working there for more than three months now as a junior communications manager,the powerful mr carter created the form only a few jears ago and it has become one of the city's most influential enterprises. I sigh and stare at a little duck that's eating the last swollen bread crumbs floating on the water's surface. I decided to take my life into my own hands the day i arrived to New-York. I know what i want and i'm here to succeed for me,it's a whole new start. On the matter ,my life ,let's talk about it . At the moment it's split between two male figures ....one takes up all my free the other one all my mind....
The first ,though sweet ,is none the less dribbly and hairy. His favourite activity consists is chewing balls or any other object to his taste and spitting them back out,dripping wet onto my lap.
I chose smoky's name. Before being the family dog it was mainly my mother's and mine.when she passed away,he was my closest friend so it was out of question to leave him alone with dad. Smoky is staring at me for the hundreclth time,with a look full hope .
,,no,you big dummy ,i won't go swimming with you in That mucky water".
I throw the slimy stick for smoky. He slings himself water it without even looking to see where i threw it. I roll my eyes in amusement. I lean backwards,resting both arms on the back of the bench,i watch him play affectionately. And then ,very quickly ,as usual ,my mind drifts back to him . You know , the second male i talked about earlier . The one who takes up all my thoughts, the one i met on my first day at work and who i think about each time i breathe.
His name is Matt .the good news is that we get on really well,maybe too well.the bad news is that he's a co-worker and we share the same Office cubicle. I remember my first day at work ,the day had begun badly ,someone had stolen my bag . He waltzed into, our little cubicle ,a big smile on his lips...
I was so overwhelmed That day ,he was the only person who seemed normal to me. I felt good with him straightaway. At first ,honestly i quite liked him . We quickly hit it off,i found him very sweet ,but more as a friend .
The type of friend who bucks you
Up when you're feeling down.
But not The type with whom you'd spend a night .
And then,one night i was home feeling at my lowest,he came around. we talked for hours. I feel asleep in his arms. I had never felt so good in a man's arms before. That night,he didn't try anything,he was just there for me .it's then That i realised how extraordinary he was,the type guy you don't find on every street corner....
I then started to see him differently ,i started chuckling stupidly at his jokes,blushing when catching his twinkling hazelnut eyes ,becoming jealous of other girls looking at him too much....yes the competition was tough . Matt is the kind of guy who gets pocketfuls of telephone numbers without necessarily asking for them.
He was this innocence about him that makes him so appealing,so .....charming. ...
Smoky runs back to me happily any gives me his stick. I wonder if it's possible for him to tire one day of fetching sticks constantly.
,,after all ,some people fall in love with their boss or their manager ,so why couldn't I with a colleague?..."
???
,, i doubt That your dog can answer your question"
(Damn,i thought out loud...)
Blushing with embarrassment ,i look towards the confident masculine voice That just called out to me. A young man is looking at me ,his eyes glimmering in amusement they're saying :,,i just caught you blatantly talking to your dog".
,, he probably won 't answer, but i prefer his company to That of most humans."
(I know it's a little impolite but i hate feeling offended)
I fold my arms,looking annoyed. He sits down anyway great......
,,if you're thinking of'discreetly coming closer on a bench'trick forget it".
The young man starts to laugh whilst stroking smoky who is indicidentally being very friendly. I give my traitor a dirty look.oh don't mind me!you might as well eat out of his hand.
,,your dog seems to like me. ."
,,great ...you've got a dog is that it".
,,no.I prefer pussycats.."
I look at him little taken aback.I laugh nervously and roll my eyes.
Seriously!"I prefer pussycats "who is this guy ?!
I stare at him briefly. He looks strangely like Matt ,with something more assertive about him.
(Katy !you really have to stop Matt thing!you'll end up seeing him everywhere!!)
Before i can stand ,his telephone rings and he slips away mumbling something That i don't quite catch. I sit there feeling stupid watching the young man walk away. The least i can say is that he annoyed me but something about him stirred me too !.
Mechanically i put smoky's leash on and we walk off home. On my way back, my phone rings.it's Lisa.
,,hi Lisa! "
,,hey there sweetie!"
Lisa has become a very good friend,she Works at carter corporation too as a secreatary.I remember how awkward i felt the first time we met.
She's the type of girl who always looks perfect.her clothes are never creased,her hair never in a mess ,she's always impeccable.in short my direct opposite .
,,it's nosiy,where are you?"
,,i was at the park ,something crazy happened to me i will tell you about it..what about jou?"
,,i'm tidying up.it's enthralling...lucky I had no more fun last night."
,,what?with who?!tell about it!!"
,,hmmmm.....not over the phone"
,,are you serious come on Lisa!!!"
She loves to keep me in suspense .The worst is that she has me hooked everytime !
,, i have to go,i'll call you back tonight ".
,,wait!you can't leave me like That!".
,,i'll call you back after lesson with matt!".
My lesson! I'd forgotten about it!i'd better get a move on..yes ,the latest news is that i've joined a gym to practice again.
I started Thai boxing when i was 8. I used to practice with dad and i hadn't gotten back to it since i moved here . But. ...Matt changed things...it just so happens that he gives classes of it at a gym,as well has given him a dream body.
So naturally i thought to myself:how about joining his class, that way i can see him outside of work for a change."
(Not stupid katy!)
Lisa doesn't know that i have a crush on Matt. She is even less aware of all my tactics to get closer to him,every time she talks to me about him,she assumes that i think of him as a just friend.
The gym where Matt lives ...The atmosphere is pretty pleasant,the sports hall is well equiped.I feel a little nerveus about seeing him....lately i've feel nervous whenever i see him.
I decided to wear my hotpants ,they highlight my figure i may as well stack all the odds on my side !.
,,hi".
He bends over ,one arm accross his waist ,saluting me theartrically, it makes me smile.
,,welcome to my lair, fair maiden".
I giggle as he kisses my hand in a devout manner ,overacting it of course.what an idiot!.
,,so,are you ready? ".
,,yeah ready to kick your ass".
Matt laughs as if i'd said the funniest thing ever.
,,i'm going to take things slowly with you,babe".
He leans over to me as if to confide something and says:,,i'll be careful not to break one of your nails".
I look at Matt with an air of defiance. He really thinks me to a little innocent girly. I must admit,he doesn't know a thing about my years of practice.
If only he knew!I got to really high level and i'd be very sorry to damage his little angel face..
(Concentrate katy!)
A young boy interrupts us and proudly shows Matt the last move he's learnt.
He leaves quickly as he came and Matt appologises inviting me into the rings.
,,who was that thunder bolt?"
,, a young boy that i've been training for a few jears."
,,he looked very proud to show you his move".
,,yeah, it's what i'm proud of.seeing these kids here,doing something other with their lives than hanging around in the streets and messing in the wrong places,even if i can't change the way things are,i can try".
,,i must give credit where credit is due".
,,and it's great for picking up girls".
I roll my eyes and nudge him on the arm. I've become accustomed to doing this when he plays the lover boy . He doesn't realise that his jokes makes me more and more uncomfortable . As well as being sexy,funny and nice ,he helps the young people in his neighbourhood to make something of their lives....for sure it does help to scu.
Once on the rings ,Matt gives me
A pair of boxing gloves and explains one or two basic things.
He strikes,suddenly I can tell he held back. I easily avoid his strike and i retaliate with a well- placed thump that surprises him . He annoys me on not giving it all he's got !.
,,hey !this is not the first time you fight".
,,no,i have a few years practice in me."
,,you didn't tell me that..so i've got a little warrior in front of me!".
"Little warrior",the nickname makes me smile. Dad's always calling me That. It's thanks to him that i toughened up.
When i was Little ,i was molested once anf for years i felt ashamed . When at last,i managed to talk to my parent's about it,dad initiated me to combat sports. Now, i can pin anyone down to the ground . I know how to twist a wrist or press on a given point that can render even the biggest brute harmeless. I got some blows and i gave some too .I slowly won over the part of me that could no longer bear other people's contact.
When mum died from her illness ,i let all my rage out in the ring...
I'm overcome by a sudden feeling of sadness. Like every time i think about my mum . Some wounds never heal..
,,are you ok?do you want to take a break?".
,,mm mm..I could do with a break .."
,,ok,go and take a sip of water.i'll wait for you here".
It's really difficult for me to talk about my certain things of my past .most of the time ,i lock my problems up tightly in a drawer at the back of my head . I think,in the end ,with each kick That i give ,i eject a bit more of my anger...
,,ok angel.d'you have some basic knowlege in self defense?".
(You bet ,pal)
,,A little bit ,but go ahead ,i'm listing. ...master".
I overact the last word with a respectful bow.with guys ,if there is one thing That Works ,it's making them feel like they've got
Loads of things to teach you.
,,don't call me that,it turns me on".
Suddenly ,Matt leaps towards me. He catches my arms ,spins me around so That my back is against his chest and tries to immoblize me.
I love feeling his muscules tensening against me...I thank myself for having had such a genious idea as joining his classes.
It's crazy!even dripping with sweat,he smells Nice,i shiver with delight at the thought. My mind drifs off rapidly to another activity .
,,so ?is That all you can give,lid?"
I snap out of it and use one of my favourite arm locks to get him to the ground.
,,so?we get knocked to the ground by a kid do we?"
Matt gets back on feet laughing . I find it difficult to stay foccused cause his laugh always make me melt ...this throws me off bit and i get annoyed with myself! in the rings .I must admit that despite my level,he often got the better of me.I wonder where he learnt to fight like That.
,,you weren't so bad angel!you nearly het upper hand".
,,that's because i didn't want to hurt you ,so i took things step ny step ".
Matt smiles at me then shakes hand with another guy who's just come into the hall.
,,i've got plans for tonight!I have to head off the showers".
,,ok?where are they ?".
,,at the end of the corridor ,on the right .in front where there's the word"showers"."
He goes off laughing whilst embarcing some pupils.
I sigh ,he always has to make fun of me . But it's become a game between us ever since my first day at work.
I stay and watch few fight before going to fetch things and head for the showers.
Whilst walking towards the showers,l take a look at my cell phone,hey lisa sent me a message. I laugh whilst reading it: if you want to know more about Lisa's latest conquest ,meet her tonight at her regular bar!
KissesxxX".
With my head in the clouds, i make my way to the showers. The place is really Nice.
(Phew i really can't stand community showers!)
Without thinking i push open the first door i come to.
(Oh!!)
My heart stands still and i hold my breath. I'm sure That i blush instantaneously.
,,uhm well! You're in the men's showers!".
Matt is wearing a thin towel around his waist. He is only a few inches from me. I am nose to nose with his chest.
,,ah....uhm....crumbs....I..."
I'm totally flustered i can't manage to get a single sentence right. I was already under his spell,but now i feel completely helpless. His body is so sculptural.
,,sorry,i was daydreaming ,i didn't mean to!".
,,yeah...maybe you wanted to take your shower with me?".
,,in your dreams Matt!".
(Is That true?shouldn't i really have said in mine?)
Matt is beaming at me ,and i am red with shame .
I'm just about to turn when Matt gently holds me back and leans over to me. His mouth is level with my forehead.
(Ok ,my heart skips a beat and i suddenly feel very hot .)
,,look ,the girls showers ,are just over there".
He points his finger to the appropriate door just behind me, a look of satisfaction an mockery on his face.
,,yeah,yeah!ok !"
,,are you sure you won't get lost, i can hold your hand if you like".
(You shouldn't propose That sort of thing to me...)
I make an offended face and head,a little flustered towards the appropriate showers.
I meet Lisa in our regular bar . We both love coming here to chat about the latest gossip at work or any conquest.
I have to say she really is beautiful. Tall and slim with blond hair and an angel smile. Anyone could think That butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.
But wouldn't it?
Far from being a nun , men drop at her feet like flies and she is easily seduced.
,,hi".
,,hi Lisa!"
,,so how did your sports sessions with Matt go?".
,,yes it was great! I let off a lot of steam ! And i also get the icing on the cake".
Lisa arcs an eyebrow in interrogation .
,,i mistook the shower rooms and .....um ...i came face to face with Matt, barely out from under the shower head".
,,haha!!!!no wat!!I can't believe it !".
,,yes it's true ...and i don't regret what i saw".
Lisa leans gently towards me with a lewd look on her face and gestures a more or less big gap between her fingers.
(Oh!!!!)
,, No,are you crazy or something!!! I didn't see that ......his.......come on".
,, stop it katy! Anyone would think you've never had sex before!haha!".
,,i have....but not with him! I...it's just that i saw his dressed with only a small towel around his waist ,that's all".
,,ahhhh"
Lisa seems disappointed.
,,ah ,come on! Anyone would think That's all you're interested in! And it is Matt we're talking ".
,,you're right! If he was here he'd be first to brag about it,smiling idiotically as he does".
I roll my eyes in apperoval and laugh nervously.
,,anyway didn't you have something to tell me?".
,,yes".
A beastly smile appears on my friend lips. Great it's going to be saucy!.
,,i told you about my upstairs neighbour didn't i?".
,,oh come on......don't tell me it's yet another super hot guy?they all seem to have moved down your way".
,,don't be so jealous sweetie".
,,well allow me to moan a bit. By around my place the only man is a grandad who winks at me now and again from his balcony when i pass by the alley way. "
We both burst out laughing whilst savouring our cocktails .
,,Anyhow i can say that i had the most insane night the other evening...I met Frank at a neighbour's meeting,he is really nice,we got on well straight away. We ended up at his place.....".
,,oh....?are you going to see each other again?".
,,i don't know".
That's Lisa all over. The guy seems cool,good-looking ,but before getting into anything That resembles a relationship even slightly ,she finds something that's not quite right.
Once Lisa has finished telling me all about her crazy night With Frank, we decide to go home. I take smoky out for a walk before going to Bed.
I sigh when walking ,thinking about my evening ,as usual Lisa told me her saucy stories and me ....well i had nothing very extraordinary to tell. My heart throbs as i think of what i felt with Matt. I correct myself after all any girl would have felt flustered in seeing such a sculptured body,wouldn't they ?".
,,aw ...there is a long way to go yet smoky!"
He looks at me briefly and goes back to what he was doing. Yes,smelling your Friends is much more interesting than listening to me whining . And why am i not able to talk to Lisa about it?after all,she is my friend ,she'd probably give good ...advice....
She'd probably be surprised , on that matter ,so am i . I don't understand what's changed ...why i see Matt differently. Maybe she's say:,,go for it! Matt and you would be great together!".
So why am i frightened?!.
Maybe it's because i'm frightened of losing Matt's friendship. If i told him everything about. ...how i feel and....if he doesn't feel the same ,then what would happen?.
I can't bare having to face him everyday at work after revealing such a thing. It would spoil everthing ! And losing his friemdship would be too difficult to bear ....
Aw ...I really feel down.
I heart leaps when i think of Matt's smile as he proposed to take a shower with me. He was only joking of course but i, i just wish it had been true. What a shame. ...once more the situation won't have gone any further than more fantasy.
I have to decide. Either i make a move on Matt or i drop it. If i keep thinking about him all the time.I might miss opportunities with other guys!.
I have to say That Matt really has everything i like in a man.
(Cut it out katy)
I sigh and call to smoky who's busy sniffing an abandonned handkerchief. I should get back. It's 1:30 am, and i'm getting up at 7o'clock tomorrow and i have an early morning meeting with my manager!

What do you guys think ,must she make a move on Matt or drop it.