Sorry. I'm Sad. • Lashton

Chapter 6: Endless Possibilities and Front Doors

*trigger warning*

      I barely slept, not that that's anything new. I couldn't even being to describe the emotions and my brain is about to explode with questions. I didn't leave my room all weekend, except to use the bathroom. I haven't eaten either. Though I did manage to send a text to Niall, explaining all that had happened that Thursday night. Due to my lack of sleep, I've been having a hard time focusing and staying awake in school. Math was a drag, but strangely interesting as I noticed Luke keep looking at me, barely looking away when I looked over to him. I gave him a questioning look and he went back to pretending to pay attention to the lesson.

    On the way out of class, I walked over to Luke and said, "Hi. I want to thank you again for kinda saving my life."

    "Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Don't talk about it. And don't talk to me." And he shoved me out of the way and left the class. I thought he had maybe changed, and that's why he saved me. He must just want the attention. Or maybe not because he told me not to talk about it. My thoughts were racing and I couldn't seem to slow them down.

--Gym--

    "Hey Ash. How's things with Blondie." Niall approached me, taking off his shirt in the process of talking.

    "He told me not to talk to him or about what he did. So I don't really care how things are with him." I said, kind of losing it. I started unbuttoning my shirt, feeling somewhat confident, but wussed out and grabbed my gym clothes, speed walking to the bathroom stalls. When I walked out of the graffiti covered stall, it let out a pained screech and I noticed Calum talking with Niall. I made my way over to my friend and my other "friend" and sat my clothes on the bench, opening my locker, picking up my clothes, folding them, and setting them neatly in my locker. Niall and Calum stared as I did this, and I rolled my eyes and we all let out a small, nose exhale, laugh.

    We made our way into the gym, Niall and Calum's arms over my shoulders. I smiled, feeling important and cared for.

    After possibly the longest game of hockey ever, we were sent back to the locker room to change. I stripped of my sweaty t-shirt and my basketball shorts. I opened my locker and took out my neatly folded clothes, replacing them with my sweaty ones. I noticed Niall and Calum's stares but pretended I didn't. Niall knows about my dad and he barely feeds me. This shouldn't be anything new for him. I don't know why he is staring. I was starting to feel uncomfortable with the stares and kind of angry. I put my arms through the black sleeves and buttoned up my shirt. My finger tips felt numb while doing so. I slipped my legs through my tight jeans and sat on the bench.

    "Ashton, you need to eat something." Niall pointed out, rubbing his hand on my bony shoulder.

    Calum sat on the other side of me, looking at my face. I turned to look at him and his eyes were flooded in concern. I stood up and walked out of the locker room, not even caring that the bell hasn't rung yet.

    I decided to sit by myself at lunch that day. But I couldn't really skip health because I'm not one to skip a class. I was more afraid to face Niall and Calum than Luke, surprisingly.

    I dropped my back pack on the floor next to my chair and sat down. Neither Calum or Niall were here yet. I felt something wet hit the back of my neck and I turned around to see Luke and Zayn laughing, but they were trying to make it seem like it wasn't them. I mean, they were being obvious about it. I felt another one  hit me and someone pulled the chair out from next to me, I tensed up, but relaxed when seeing Niall with that adorable smile.

    "Remember me? Your best friend?" Niall said, nudging my shoulder with his.

    "Faintly."