Sorry. I'm Sad. • Lashton

Chapter 8: Weird Morning and Strange Night

     I laid on Luke's bathroom floor for what felt like hours before the yelling stopped.

    The door slowly opened and I looked up at Luke, who was offering me a glass of water. I took it and downed it almost instantly. Luke squatted down next to me and wiped my tears off using the pad of his thumb.     "Do you need a ride home?" Luke asked.

    "If you don't mind."

    "It's the least I can do after all of that." And with that, Luke stood up, and offered me his hand. But I didn't take it. I watched Luke's face fall when I got up on my own.

    "Wait, Ash." He grabbed a wash cloth and ran it under some water. "You got a little... There." He said while wiping vomit off my face.

    I blushed and looked down. But my mission failed when Luke grabbed my chin, making me look up at him. He kissed my cheek and walked out of the bathroom. I followed him out to his car. Climbing into the passenger seat. Luke sat in the drivers seat and just sat there, not saying a word.

    And that was what the whole ride was like too. I gave him directions to my house and that was it.

    When we finally arrived, I saw my dad sitting on the front step.

    Luke turned to me and I froze. I was silently praying Luke wouldn't kiss me with my dad right there. But at the same time, I wanted him to kiss me. But the kiss never came. Just a few words.

    "This changes nothing between us. Nothing at all. I'm in love with my girl friend and I'm not even gay. I don't know what I was thinking. Get out of my car you freak. I have to get home and wash your gayness out of my sheets and flesh."

    Tears brimmed my eyes and I scrambled out of the car. I felt like I was being strangled by the oxygen around me and I made my way to the small front porch, pretending not to notice my dad.

    "Where have you been all fucking night? Who's that boy?" He pointed to Luke's car that was still sitting in the drive way. "Were you with him? Is that your gay fuck of a boyfriend?"

    "N-no." I choked out, feeling the tears finally stream down my cheeks. I looked down, embarrassed of crying. Then my father slapped my face and dragged me inside by my hair. I swear as I was being pulled into the place I call home, I saw tears on Luke's face.

    "This will teach you not to talk back to me."

     My sight of Luke vanished when a door was slammed in my face.

    I woke up around 3 P.M., having no remembrance of what happened to the rest of the day. I was on the floor by the front door. And then it hit me. Not why I'm here but I mean the actual door. It hit me. I was being pushed behind the door and my father walked in.

    "Dead fish is still on the floor. Make yourself useful and clean this damn house."

    "Yes sir." I push myself off of the floor and make my way to the kitchen, where cleaning supplies could be found.

    I fill my hands and arms with all the sprays and cleaners, making my way to the only bathroom in the house. I wipe off the toothpaste splatters on the mirror, scrub out the toilet and the drips of urine me or my father missed, and then scrubbed the tub, removing hair from the drain that is most likely from me but you never know. He would blame me anyway. I wipe out toothpaste from the sink and start to hum the song me and Luke danced to at the party. I stopped cleaning the sink and looked directly into the mirror.

    "Am I really that ugly?" I whisper to myself. "Luke did kiss me so I mustn't be." I look back down to the sink and continue to clean it.

    I set the supplies in the hall while I go look for a broom.