Which Direction? {A Frat Boy Harry Fanfiction}

Chapter 15

Speechless was an understatement. I was never the type to get distracted by boys, they just weren't apart of my life. I'd always had one priority in my life, to protect my mom and my brother. Love and relationships never seemed to be a concern for me...

until right now. 

His brown curls were tickling the top of my bare forehead, as I struggled to keep my balance. His breathing was slowing down as I stared straight into his green eyes. I never knew how easy it was to get lost in someone's eyes, to drown in the color and depth they formed. I could feel the tips of his fingers barely trailing unconsciously against my wrists. 

I swallowed deeply, not knowing what's taking me so long to respond. I usually would be all up in his face, telling him to get lost and to stop harassing me. But something was different about this, about him. He somehow got me under this spell, and I didn't know how to get out of it. 

My height was to my advantage; he wasn't towering over me, yet he wasn't look up at me either. His eyes in line with mine, I tried to form words. Any words. 

Before I could catch myself, I leaned in. My eyes fell shut as the soft impact of his lips fell onto mine. His lips were plump and sweet, tasting like peppermint just as I'd expected. He kissed me deeper, causing me to fall back against the wall. I couldn't describe the feeling, as his lips slowly pressed against my own. I could feel him rolling his hips faintly against my trembling body. This isn't me, I was never this girl. I don't fall for people, and I don't give in. My heart rate must've went up by about 100 beats because I could feel his lips tug into a small grin as he kept them pressed to mine. 

I couldn't seem to keep my cool, when I could lightly feel the edge of his tongue swipe against my lower lip. His lips worked perfectly with mine, in sync. The tenderness and passion that came with it was enough for me to hold on to as he pulled away. Breathless, I watched his eyes reopen. His lips, still slightly parted, spoke quietly, "Wow." 

I realized that this was one of the best feelings I've ever felt in my life, but also one of the worst. My lips grasping onto what ever I could, the feeling of his gentle lips still lingering on me. But then again thinking about everything I know about him. He's a player. He told me himself. He's not a relationship guy.

He's the most desirable guy at Trenton, the one who can get with any girl he wants. He does this all time. Kissing, switching, kissing, switching. One day he'll be kissing me and the next he'll be kissing someone else. I know it.

While this kiss may mean the world to me, it could mean nothing to him. Nothing at all. I furrowed my brows in frustration, the realization overwhelming me. 

I hastily pushed his chest away from me, I couldn't stand to stay here. With him, knowing that just meant nothing. It probably was nothing compared to what he's done with girls before. 

"Chelse-"

"Save it Harry. I already told you, I don't want to be just another one of your 'girls'," I exclaimed watching the words hit him. He must meet girls all the time, them falling generously at his feet. It would take a second for him to get any girl in bed with him, it wasn't going to happen with me. Not this time Harry. He stared at me through glassy eyes. The darkened hallway was now empty as we stood feet apart. He was silent. Of course, he had nothing to say. He knew it was true. "That's what I thought." 

I took my chance to push past him and down the stairs. Everything was a blur as I pushed through the crowd of people still drunk and having a good time. As soon as I caught sight of the yellow sundress I ran over to her. 

"We're going," I nearly growled.

"What?" she was sitting next to Niall with a red cup of beer in her hand. I grabbed the cup briskly spilling some on the couch they were sitting on, and forced it into Niall's empty hand.

"I said we're going," I grabbed her hand helping her up. 

"Why-What's wrong?" 

"Nothing. I just want to go okay?!" she was confused, scared even. I was being forceful, I knew it. But I had to get out of here. I couldn't confront him again. 

"Okay," her voice turned quiet as I pulled through the house and out the front door.

"Lo siento Riley. Really I'm not trying to be mean. I just--I just need to leave okay," her muscles relaxed looking straight at me, "I don't feel like talking about it." 

"It's fine Chelsea...I just kind of wanted to say bye to Niall," she said once we got back to the car. 

"He'll be fine. I'll explain to him at class tomorrow. I just really need to get out of here," she could sense my urgency as she pulled out onto the dark, empty road.

"I'm sorry again. I just--"

"It's okay Chelsea. You can explain to me later." 

... 

"Everyone please take your seats," Mr. Eads bellowed throughout the lecture hall. I had successfully avoided Harry's gaze as I made my to two empty seats with Niall trailing behind me. I could feel Harry's eyes burning into me as I walked in front of the class. My hands grew clammy warning myself not to look up at him.

"Today we'll be discussing the reading I assigned the other day," Mr. Eads turned on the projector as it flashed to a bright white screen with the words: 4 Noble Truths. I started to tune out his monotone ranting as I settled back into my seat.

My mind wandered off to last night with Harry. We had kissed, and the worst part is that I liked it. The worst part was I didn't pull away. Damnit Chelsea, why didn't I pull away?

Not that this kiss with Harry will lead anywhere but I couldn't help but think of the possibilities.

But he wasn't a relationship guy, remember that Chelsea. That was the one horrid thing holding me back from asking him for anything more.

"That brings me to the first of the 4 Noble Truths," my thoughts intervened by the words. I looked over at Niall who had his elbows resting on the desk in front him, his chin in his hands. He looked as if he were about to fall asleep right on the spot. "Now I realize that you are all college students but the study of religion and especially Buddhism can be an intense and difficult topic to grasp. So the first of the truths is: the truth of suffering. Now this can also be known as dukkha, or in other words: the world is full of suffering." I uncrossed my legs sighing; this is going to be a long class…

After further explaining "dukkha" he went on to the second of the four truths, "The second truth is: the truth of the origin of suffering. Also known as Samudāya. Basically the second truth means: desire causes suffering."

My foot began a nervous tapping, my breathing quickly increasing. Desire. Desire is something I've never really had before. I could never just think about me and what I wanted. There was always a sibling or a mom to protect and take care of. And then came the second part: suffering. Suffering has been something that I've felt firsthand before, but I've learned to deal with it and push past it. And then it all came to realization. It may just be hormones, or maybe just my lips talking, but I desired something. I didn't really think about it before, but now I know I understand the feeling. He came into my life not even a week ago, it was inevitable that this would happen. This must happen to every girl that ever meets him. Even though I hated, despised even, the thought of me admitting it. But it was true.

I desired Harry.

And if all this Buddhism crap is true, then suffering is right around the corner.