Which Direction? {A Frat Boy Harry Fanfiction}

Chapter 24

The car whirled in circles, spinning my head and obstructing my vision. I tried to keep myself gripped to the seat, digging my fingers roughly into the sides of the seat. I could see out of the corner of my eye that Harry was struggling to keep control of the wheel. 

His every muscle was strained, twisting and turning the steering wheel in an attempt to gain control of the car. It had a mind of it's own, barely sliding past any possible accident. We skidded off, barely missing 2 oncoming cars. The force causing my neck to whiplash back, Harry's hand threw up over my chest. 

It was Harry's right arm that flew out to protect me, my own two arms doing the same. But mine was in defense.

His strong arm was covering my view. I curled up close to myself, my arms making an X in front of my face. Just as the car stopped, I held my breath. I squeezed my eyes shut, ready for impact. 

"Chelsea!" an exasperated yell came from Harry's distressed lips, "Are you hurt?" I noticed my vulnerable position, my arms weakly covering my face from Harry's protective arm. I opened my eyes quickly and swatted his arm away immediately, finally letting out my breath. 

"What are you doing?!" I screamed. The car was laid out on the sidewalk on the opposite side of the road. Surprisingly it was unharmed and so were we. Cars were whizzing by us, not one noticing what had just happened. 

Then he understood. He looked at my limp arms protecting myself from his. He noticed my body squished up back against the seat. He realized I was protecting myself from him, not the car. 

"Chelsea," his whispers were pained, "I wasn't going to hurt you." I knew he wasn't going to, but my body thought he was. My insticts and my experience, always told me there was going to be pain. That's how I grew up, afraid and vulnerable. The sudden motion of his flesh, had made me flinch. "I would never hurt you." I looked up into his eyes brimming with tears. 

"I know," I whispered lowering my arms, "I just thought--"

"I know," he whispered back running his long fingers through his hair, "I'm so sorry." 

I don't know why I did it, I knew he wasn't going to hit me. But I've been hit, been victimized so many times before I just didn't know the difference. 

"Just take me home," I thought there were going to be tears, but my concsious new better. I never cried, not since I was young at least.  Tears only made things worse, made you feel worse, made you look worse. It wasn't for me. 

He waited for the perfect time, his expression still and bare. He made his way across the intersection once it was clear. Seconds later we were back in the flow of traffic. The whole car was tense. I was tense. 

"Chelsea--"

"I don't want to talk about it," I knew I was being stubborn. 

"We have to..." his voice trailed as he looked over at me, "Did you really think I was going to hurt you?"

"No! I mean yes--no--I don't know. I was just--" I stopped myself from saying scared. I wasn't scared, "--shocked." 

"But your self defense. It was like you thought I was going to hit you right across the face," his voice trembled, probably hating himself more than ever right now. 

"I'm sorry."

"Chelsea please don't apologize. I almost just got us killed..." I watched as a silent salty tear fell from his eye. He blinked back a second, before the third and fourth one fell. Her eyes were being redder, his eyelids droopier. Tears were uncontrollably falling down the sides of his cheeks, before I knew what to say. 

"Harry pull over," I said quietly.

"No," his voice was angry at himself. 

"Harry. You are no condition to drive," I said my own voice growing stronger, "Please. Pull over." The car jerked to the side, pulling over in a huff to the side.

"What?!" his infuriated face turned to me. 

"Don't yell at me," I whispered. He stopped for a second, looking at me. 

"I know I'm sorry," he said sitting back against his seat. His hands combed though his hair again, "I'm so so sorry." I could tell he was hurting, hating himself for what he did. 

"It's not your fault..." I tried to say something to make him feel better.

"Of course it is Chelsea! I could've gotten us killed!" he threw his hands up in the air, "killed!" 

"I know. But we're fine now right?" I took my hand brushing it against his damp cheek. I pushed aside a falling teardrop, rubbing my thumb under his eyes. "It's okay." 

"It's not okay," he tried to look away out of my grasp. 

"Harry. You were trying to save me. Your hand was out to prevent me from flying through right?" I looked him straight in the eye when he nodded. My fingers softened, running themselves over his every feature. 

"Why would you do that?" 

"What do you mean?" he was confused.

"Why would you think about my life..." I gulped, "Instead of your own." 

"Because I care about you Chelsea." 

"We've hardly known each other for a week," I pursed out my lips in slight anguish. 

"And that's what makes this so amazing," he gave a weak smile, "That's how I know this is real." I didn't know what to say, speechless was just one of the things this boy did to me. 

"This?" my weak words trailed hesitantly from my lips. 

"This," he whispered, "It's real." I knew it too. The way I couldn't stop thinking about him, the way I missed his soft lips on mine, how I just missed his unforgettable scent. It was a weird feeling to feel this way about a person, but it felt like the only way with Harry. 

"I'm so sorry. You must've thought I was going to hit you because of your you know--"

"My past?" I finished his sentence for him bringing my hands down from his face. 

"Yeah," he looked out his window before turning back swiftly, "But Chelsea. You should know that I would never do that. I would never hurt you physically or emotionally." 

"I hope you're right," I keep letting myself fall deeper and deeper under his spell. Under his power. 

"I am so sorry," he said another unwelcomed tear falling down his cheek. 

"Stop apologizing. It's over," I whispered turning back to face the road, "Now take me home." I breathed heavily trying to understand all of this. 

"Okay," I heard him barely mumble under his breath. The car ride back was completely silent. It was awkward, but it was comfortable at the same time. It was crazy how we almost just killed, but also crazy because he had just answered the one question that's been on my mind ever since the first kiss. There was an us.