Real or Not Real

Chapter 5

A.N. Last chapter!!

Katniss turns over in bed and is greeted with her smiling husband. "Morning." She tells him with a sleepy voice. Peeta's eyes shine bright and he kisses her lips. Then trails down her face, lightly kissing her neck. She can't let Peeta in even after all these months. "Stop." She tells him but he kisses her lips again. "Stop, get off."

He pulls away and eyes her sadly. "Katniss," he whispers softly.

"No, Peeta I can't. Just. . .leave me alone." Katniss turns away from him and gets out of bed.

"I'm, sorry." He tells her.

"I'm loosing my mind and you can't do anything about it. You haven't done anything wrong, but I have. I've done so many things and I promise I'll make it right." She pulls on her hunting boots and leaves the room, with the door left open.
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Peeta waits at the table for Katniss to return home, he even wanders upstairs and makes the bed. Laying his head full of golden hair on her pillow. Though he doesn't feel it, there is an envelope sticking out against the pillow. But in the end, he does not feel it, or see it.

And when he leaves to go find her, it is still there, the edge just sticking out from under the pillow.

If only he had seen it. Things might have been different.
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Katniss weighs Peeta's knife in her palms. She holds it with a firm, steady hand. She finds that it is very different to holding her bow. With her bow, she is confident, assured – she knows who she is with it. Katniss Everdeen, the girl from 12 who hunted to keep her family alive. She was a survivor. Yet there is only so much one can survive before the fire dies and the hurt becomes too much.

With this knife, this deadly, sharpened blade in her hand.....

She is someone else.

She is Peeta Mellark's wife and a mother that lost her child.
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Peeta stares at the fence separating his world from the one Katniss loves, and he only hesitates for a moment before he slides under. But it was a moment too long.

As he runs through the forest his feet crunch against twigs and leaves that scatter the ground. But he is still able to hear the mockingjays that are whistling into the dark air, the song they've picked up on. He knows that Katniss must have sung it to them.

"Katniss!" He yells slowly turning in a circle, lost without his wife.
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The lullaby on Katniss's lips dies out. She is sure the mockingjays have picked up the song by now.

She lies back down against the tree, breathing heavily. Already her pulse is weakening, her heartbeat thin and erratic. The knife in her right hand slides out of her grasp, her palm slick with blood. The cuts at her wrists begin to flow crimson rivers down her clothes. Her eyes flutter and she vaguely registers the voice calling out her name. Ah, Peeta. She hoped he might find her. It is why she chose her place – a flat, wide rock beneath a large oak tree – deep in the woods.

Her vision swims but she sees Peeta thundering towards her, yelling her name. He drops to his knees, ripping off his jacket and trying to stem the blood flow. But Katniss was far too precise, her cuts far too deep. The red soaks right through.

He tries to drag her body into his arms but she protests. "Too late....stay here." Her eyes roll back into her head for a moment before they emerge into the light again. She feels as light as air, as if she could float away at any minute. And if she does, she's ready. Everyone else will be better off without her.

He settles her head into his lap, stroking her hair. His tears fall down onto her face, and there is so much blood on them both, it's a wonder Katniss has still managed to keep consciousness. "Katniss, why did you do this?"