Captivated

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

There's a carnival that comes to San Francisco's Pier 39 every August that consists of rides, games, entertainment, and lots of cotton candy. Last summer Colby and I decided to make a visit and see what all the hype was about. I remember how crystal clear the water was, and how the heat was almost unbearable that day. We wandered around, went on a few different rides, and played some games to which Colby won me a stuffed bear. I remember the feeling of being so happy and content. Colby's arms were around my waist and the warm air was on my skin. I remembering feeling like nothing bad could happen. Nothing in the world could take away what I was feeling in that moment; and I savoured every second of it.

Later that night when we were on the ferris wheel, about a dozen police cars showed up and we watched as the officers began running around searching the property. The ferris wheel was put on hold, leaving Colby and I stuck at the very top for about twenty minutes while they searched the grounds. We had a view of the entire park, which was lit up with thousands of colourful lights, as well as the red and blue flashes from the police cars. When we finally were able to come down again, we found out that a child had gone missing and was seen leaving with a strange man. They shut the carnival down early that night as the police continued to search for the little boy. I was so scared and worried for the family. My heart ached for them. But after a couple days, the feeling eventually faded. It wasn't intentional or anything, but I guess I just moved on with other things happening in my life, and I eventually forgot about that poor little missing boy.

They found his body a couple of months later. I remember turning on the news one afternoon and seeing the mother, who had unforgettable red hair, crying into her husband's shoulder. The boy was found in a duffle bag in a construction site; just dumped there and left to decay. I was awestruck from what had happened, initially. But again, after a while, the memory simply left my mind and everyone moved on with their lives. Except the family of course. It must have been unbelievably hard on them. But I never really thought about that little boy again. Until today. Because now I'm starting to fear that I'll end up just like him – another memory come and gone again.

Luckily I had the day to myself since no one came down to bother me. But soon enough, Dane will be home from work, and I know that my solitude will be disrupted once again. I always hear him before he appears. The loud footsteps sound as he comes down the stairs, and I wait a few seconds before the knock sounds at my door. Dane opens it slowly and peeks his head inside.

"Good evening, Reign. How are you today?" he smiles.
"Good." I say bluntly. He opens the door and walks in.
"I know I wasn't around much yesterday. I was doing some renovations on the shed out back,"
"Okay."
He studies me for a moment. "Would you like to put something nice on for dinner tonight?"
"Oh," I say, caught off guard. "Am I coming up for dinner tonight?"
"If you'd like,"
"Um," I hesitate. "Sure, I guess. I mean, anything's better than being down here." I say. He smiles. "Will Jo be there?" I ask.
"Do you want Jo to be there?" he asks. I nod. "Well then perhaps we can make that happen."
"And Avery?"
This catches him off guard. "Avery," he says. "We will have to see."
"Please stop punishing him," I plea. "It was my idea, not his. He was just trying to help me."
"I thought we were done discussing this, Reign."
"We are, but I just don't want you to keep punishing him for my mistakes."
"It's not your mistake; he chose to help you, and he deserved his punishment."
I shudder. "Okay."
"Okay," he repeats. "So perhaps you can put on the pink polka dotted dress tonight? That would make me happy."
"Okay." I comply. He smiles and leaves my room. I truly despise him, even when he's being somewhat nice.

We eat dinner in silence, besides the sound of Dane's voice, but I don't really consider that communicating. He talks and we pretend to listen. I'm happy to see Jo. She's wearing a pale blue dress and has a ribbon in her hair. She looks pretty. Tired and worn out; but pretty. I must look pretty rough too. I hardly ever look in the mirror when I go to the bathroom anymore. I barely recognize my own reflection and that frightens me. Last time I looked, the bags under my eyes were so dark I looked ill. And my hair is greasy and knotted. You'd think he'd let us shower or bathe or something. Maybe I'll ask him next time he comes to my room. Maybe if I'm good I can negotiate with him.

"And your thoughts Reign?" I hear Dane's voice and am snapped out of my thoughts.
"Pardon?"
"On the death penalty; what do you think of it?"
"Um," I think. "What do you mean?"
"He wants to know if you agree with it or not." Avery mumbles between bites. I stare at Avery for a moment. He looks upset. I watch as he cuts his food and can almost feel the pain behind his eyes.
"I'm not really sure," I say. "I guess I haven't really thought about it."
"I know my opinion," Jo says. I look at her. "Murderers deserve to die. So I'm one hundred percent for capital punishment. If you take tons of innocent lives, then the state should have no problem taking yours."
"But don't you think that's just an easy way out?" Avery asks, looking up from his plate. "I mean, if the murderer killed tons of innocent people, don't you think they deserve to rot and suffer in a jail cell for the rest of their life? Death is the easy way out for them; simple and quick, then it's over. I think I'd rather watch someone rot their entire life away and have time to repent and think about what they've done." He glares at his father, then continues cutting his steak. Chilling.
"Well, that's your opinion son," Dane says. "I think I'm going to have to agree with Jo on this one though. Perhaps death is an easy way out."
"Great, I'll make sure to let them know when they hull you out of this place." Avery says.
Dane chuckles. "I won't take offence to that because I know you don't mean it. You're just angry at your dear old dad for some tough loving I had to provide. But you'll come around again soon enough. You always do."
Avery's head snaps up and if looks could kill, I swear Dane's throat would be slit. "May I please be excused?" Avery asks.
"Sure, I guess so –"

But before Dane is even finished his sentence, Avery is pushing out his chair and fleeing the room. And we're alone again with Dane.

After we're finished eating, Dane walks Jo and I back down to our rooms. He spends time with Jo first, then visits with me afterwards. He sits on my bed and tells me about his life. There are points where he moves closer towards me and I feel panic rise in my chest. He touches my leg and moves his hand up my thighs. I flinch backwards and he removes his hand. I honestly don't think his intentions are to hurt me; that's why I'm so confused. He keeps me here locked up as his prisoner, but he doesn't want to hurt me. He wants to own me; possess me. He wants me to be his. That's why he dresses me up and makes me attend his dinners; because I am his doll. He controls me and I am supposed to abide to anything and everything he says. He's a sick and twisted man, but I don't think he wants to hurt me. He thinks of me as his possession. And Dane never breaks his own possessions. He just steals other people's things and makes them his own. I can imagine what Dane was like as a child.

He tells me about his wife, Charlotte. This is a first, because in the twenty something days that I've been here, I've only heard her name once. He doesn't tell me how they met or how on earth she married him, but he does tell me how she loved the colour purple and how her hair always smelt like lilies. He tells me that she named their first puppy Tryton and that she was a Sagittarius. I can hear the longing in his voice. At one point I almost feel sorry for him; but then I remember who he is and what he has done and all of that sympathy vanishes. But I won't forget the way his eyes light up when he speaks about her. I often wonder what actually happened to her and if it was indeed his fault. Do her eyes haunt him at night? Does the guilt make him feel restless? Or does he feel no regard for human life? Does Dane Donavan even feel empathy?

As I lie in bed, my consciousness fading into slumber, I imagine that I am somewhere else. I allow myself to become a bird whose wings will take me anywhere I desire. I am no longer chained to a bed in a musty old basement; I am as free as the wind and the sky is my limit. I have no boundaries or commitments. I can fly and never think twice about anything or look back. Jo is there too. When Jo is a bird, she is a blue jay. She looks so free and happy. And before I know it, Avery is joining us as well. He is a hawk and I can't quite figure out why. But he soars with us in the wind and no one questions anything. We are all free and Dane is nowhere to be seen. I think if Dane were a bird, he would be a bald eagle. In that moment, I am Reign, and I am not owned by anybody.