Captivated

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

Reign O'Connor

Dane tells me that tomorrow is the first of December. That means I've been here seventy days. Seventy days. It doesn't seem real. Time is measured differently here. The days go by long and slow. It almost feels like an eternity to me; like I've been here my whole life. I can't decide if seventy days is a long time, or a hardly no time at all compared to how long it feels I've been here. I almost forget about the outside world when I am trapped so tightly in my little bubble. I forget that there are starving children, war's in the middle-east, and natural disasters occurring all around the globe. None of that matters anymore. I don't even matter anymore.

I wonder if they're still looking for me. Have they given up, called it quits? Maybe they thought I ran away. It could have looked that way to the police. I wasn't a troubled girl, but I definitely had a rough past and for all they know, I could have just disappeared if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. I never wanted to. I wanted to get on that bus that warm September afternoon. I wanted to apologize to Colby and kiss him until everything was better. I wanted to go over to Laiken's and watch the movie we planned together.

But perhaps I'm better off here after all, considering the circumstances that went on. I would have been living in a blissful state of ignorance, never truly knowing what was going on right behind my back. I don't love it here – not in a million years. But in a way I am shielded from the real world. Safe from everything that haunted me before. No one can get to me in here. Except my own thoughts that haunt me every night. And Dane. Dane can always get to me.

Sometimes I wonder what I would do if I saw Laiken right now. If I were to somehow escape and return back home. Would she be excited to see me? Thrilled that her best friend was back? Or would she secretly despise me for barging in on her and Colby's new found love. I guess the real question is... what would I do? I guess I would slap her. Yell at her. Cry. Tell her how I truly felt. She would look at me like I was nuts. The poor crazy girl who was locked in a basement for three months and went insane. She'd deny it and make me seem like I've lost it. There's no proof that her and Colby are even together. Unless maybe they've gone public since I've been gone. Would they do that? Or would people think they were heartless? For all I know they've kept it a secret. A secret love affair between my best friend and boyfriend. She would look at me like I was crazy and say, Reign, what are you talking about? Selfish bitch. I'd know she was lying.

___

Dane comes to summon me for dinner. He says we're having our first family dinner together with Tori. I can't deny – I am looking forward to seeing another human besides Dane and Avery. Dane sits me down at the table and the girl is already seated across from me – where Jo used to sit. The realization hits me quick and I feel a pang in my chest for what I did to Jo. How I seemed to forget about her presence so quickly. To dismiss her life and concentrate on my own. How selfish of me. I will never forget what I did to Jo. What Dane made me do to Jo. I won't let myself forget. Ever.

She looks fairly calm for a girl who is having her first family dinner in the House of Horrors. But then it strikes me that this may not be her first dinner up here. Perhaps Dane has been bringing her up here one-on-one? She's really pretty, I notice suddenly. She looked differently in the parking lot that day. Her hair was in a high pony tail and she was wearing a green sweatshirt and khakis. Now she is dressed in a pink polka dotted dress, probably the same one that both Jo and I have worn, and her light blonde hair is in perfectly curled ringlets. I was not aware that Dane owned a curling iron. That thought alone sends chills down my spine. Sicko. Her skin is fair, but not pale. She has light brown eyes, and I notice how they dart around the room anxiously, then settle on mine. I see the recognition in her eyes. She remembers me and what I did. I instantly feel guilty. Fuck.

I wouldn't be surprised, actually, if this isn't her first encounter with the upstairs world. It seems that she and Dane have become acquainted by the way he walks over and pours wine in her plastic cup. She smiles and thanks him. This is strange. I turn to my right and see Avery seated in his normal spot. I want him to turn his head and look at me; but he doesn't. He's playing with something in his hands. Maybe he's on a cellphone. I didn't know he had a phone. Maybe I could steal it and...

"Reign," Dane says. He's suddenly standing right beside me. I snap back into reality and look up at him. "Would you like some wine?" he asks. I've always said no. Why would I accept an alcoholic beverage, especially in a place like this? He could have spiked the drink – drugged me like he has in the past. But then I guess if he really wanted to drug me he could have easily done it already. Like in the water perhaps. But I'm also a very paranoid person. I look over and see Tori staring at us. She accepted the wine. Jo and I never did. But maybe tonight I will. I nod my head and he pours some into my small, plastic cup.

Dane sits down at the head of the table and begins dispersing the food for Avery to unload on my plate. He gives me mashed potatoes and roasted vegetables. I lift my cuffed hands and take a tiny sip from the cup. The drink is strong and I feel it go down my throat and into my stomach. It's been so long since I've had a drink.

"Reign, you remember Tori, don't you?" he asks me in a cynical tone. I hate him. I truly fucking hate his man. I don't answer. "Tori, I don't think you've had the official pleasure; this is Reign O'Connor. She's our second newest member to the family." Tori flashes me a half smile then looks down at her place. I wish I could explain to her that it wasn't my fault. That Dane threatened to shoot me and my father if I didn't obey him. How I wished I could have warned her somehow as she was following us to his van. I wish I could change everything. But I can't. So I don't say anything. I just stare at the girl as she reaches for her plastic fork. Dane lifts his glass in the air (curse him for drinking from glass but forcing us captives to drink from little plastic cups) and says cheers. He loves doing this. "We need to start decorating soon," Dane says as he surveys the room. Avery nods his head and lifts a forkful of meat into his mouth. "You two celebrate Christmas, don't you?" he asks.
"Yeah." I say bluntly. Tori nods her head. Maybe she's not as comfortable with him as I first suspected. I wonder what he does to her.

Dane talks about the holidays and how he loves the snow. He says it's a shame we don't get more snow here. I want to ask where exactly here is, but I don't think it matters anymore. I briefly remember Avery mentioning Carson City in a previous conversation, but I don't even know where that is exactly. In Nevada somewhere? I let Dane's voice slowly fade from my ears and get lost in my own thoughts. I remember spending Christmas with my parents back when we lived in Vancouver. I'd get bundled up in my big jacket and snow pants and we'd go tobogganing. Then we'd come home – face's numb and hands freezing cold – and make some hot chocolate to enjoy by the fire. The snow was nice – when I was young, that is. Because of the innocence and ignorance of it all. I loved the snow because it was white, fluffy and fun. And because I could play in it. But as I grew, my love for the cold left and was replaced by a desire for the warmth. The snow no longer was this friend of mine who I grew to love and appreciate. It became a burden. It became the reason there were so many accidents on the highway and reasons why people got snowed into their homes. It was annoying, wet and messy. It ruined things. So I guess it's a good thing we moved to California. I have no idea about Dane's personal opinions on the snow – why he likes it so much. How's that saying go? We are unhappy with what we have, and desire what we cannot obtain. He loves the snow because he didn't have to live with it for ten years.

It will be strange this year. It has been strange for a couple years actually, ever since my mother died. My father and I would spend Christmas Eve by the fire watching a Christmas special on television. My father didn't know how to cook so I'd fend for myself in the kitchen and end up making us potatoes and cookies from a box. She would light up at Christmas time, my mother. Just like all of the bright decorations that surrounded our house. And when she was gone, that light inside all of us went out as well. It just wasn't the same. Nothing would ever be the same again. But this year will be even stranger. Because I will be here... with my new 'family', as Dane calls us. So fucking strange. A thought crosses my mind: where I left that necklace that Colby bought me for last year's Christmas. I wonder if he'll buy Laiken a similar one.

A lot can happen in seventy days.