Domestic Life Was Never Quite My Style

Chapter 5

The Hangover

Burr's POV

I opened my door to find Mary Emmons standing there.

I sighed. Theo will be home any minute. "U-uh, you need to leave. Now isn't a good time. Maybe we could 'meet up' tomorrow and-"

"I'm pregnant. It's yours." She said.

John's POV

"John? John?" I could feel people shaking me, but I didn't open my eyes.

"We need to catch the flight for our honeymoon, wake up." Who's saying that? They sound familiar.

Peggy's POV

"Hello? Peg, John won't wake up." That immediately sparked panic in me, and I began to shake.

"Oh! Not like that, he's snoring, so not dead. I just can't get him up. He's really hungover." He said, and I could hear somebody puking.

I laughed. "I guess you are too?" I asked. "Yep. Anyway, please come here?" I laughed. I'm on my way.

Alexander's POV

It has been two hours, and the whole meme team is here, and John won't wake up.

I know he's not dead or sick, just really hungover. I sat on the floor and put my head in my hands.

"I'm about to puke, and we're gonna miss our flight. What am I gonna do?" Hercules gasped.

"I got it! The 'Turtle Time Smoothie'!" He shouted.

Hercules's POV

The meme teams been friends all through high school and college, so long story short, we were drunk a whole fucking lot.

But John was always the designated driver! Therefore, the only person not violently vomiting the next day.

John, being the sweet cinnamon roll that he is, made some weird concoction of stuff that tastes like crap, but somehow cures hangovers. He calls it the 'Turtle Time Smoothie'

"Great idea!" Shouted Angie. "But wait, how do you make it?" Asked Lafayette.

Alex sighed. "This is ridiculous! I'm just going to carry him to the airport or something... I'm too old for this shit." He said.

"Alex, that's quitter talk! Plus, you're literally twenty one. I remember, he put that one discontinued turtle juice, pizza crust, a piece of kale, and seventeen french fries in it. Let's go!" I yelled, and everybody but Alex and Peggy ran.

Alexander's POV

Peggy and I stood in silence, looking at am unconscious John.

"Oh!" I said happily. "My dad used to have a couple cute little tricks for me when I wouldn't wake up!"

And that my friends, is how we were violently drenching John in ice water.

Hercules's POV

"Where the fuck is the stupid Turtle Juice!" Exclaimed Lafayette.

gayshusband: John shows no signs of waking up. Our flight leaves in an hour, they're not going to let me fly with an unconscious hung over dude. Game over. Honeymoons are overrated anyway, I guess.

I sighed. "Alex just texted me, guys. It's over." We all sat on a curb.

"We were so close!" Exclaimed Lafayette. We did have all of the other ingredients.

Eliza sighed. "I feel kinda bad, you know? Like, our friends aren't gonna get laid in a fancy hotel in Hawaii just because we wanted to know how much money John spends on his turtles...Wow, that sounded weird."

A guy popped out from around the corner. "Hey, kids! I heard you were looking for 'Shell of Steel'? The drink in circulation from 1992 to 2014 that was discontinued due to the famous 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' lawsuit?" He asked.

Lafayette stood up. "Hey! You're the guy that tried to get me to sell weed!" He yelled.

"Yes, but that life style is behind me now. Now I sell discontinued 90s food and beverage products. What do you say?"

"How much?"

"Three hundred and seventy dollars per pint."

Angie gasped. "That's a robbery!"

"I didn't say that it wasn't, so are you taking it or leaving it?"

At that moment, we all were faced with a decision on basically all our morals, waste all of our money, or send our friends to Hawaii for like...a week.

We all looked at eachother and nodded. We knew what we had to do.

Alex's POV

"We got the hangover elixir!"

They all screamed, and ran into our hotel room.

John's POV

I woke up to tasting what seemed like literal shit, and surprisingly no pounding headache.

"What the- What happened? And why am I not hungover?" I said, and sat up.

"No time to explain, we got a plane to catch." Said Alex as he grabbed my hand and ran out.

Burr's POV

We made awkward eye contact. "Y-you're pregnant?" I asked, and she nodded.

"And you're keeping it?" I asked, and she nodded again.

"Theodosia is going to kill me." Is the only thing I muttered before I passed out.