Domestic Life Was Never Quite My Style

Chapter 38

Ice, Ice, Baby! (CA-CHHHH)

John's POV

"If you told me in college that I would be having your child, I would think it's because of too much wine and a broken condom, Jefferson! WHY DID I AGREE TO DO THIS?" she screamed at him.

"Honey, I believe that you were sober for everything that happened in our bed in college." Jefferson said with a smirk, before Angelica punched him from her hospital bed.

"FUCK YOU! I hope I go into a coma after giving birth so I don't have to listen to your dumb ass try to talk and breathe at the same time!" She screamed, throwing her iPhone at him.

She was... very much in labor.

"Wait, they used to date in college?" asked Peggy, and we all look at her.

"Yeah, that was kind of a major thing in the first book-I mean freshman year. Did you not pay attention at all in college?" asked Laf.

Peggy shrugged. "I don't know, I was on acid like 80% of the time Freshman year." said Peggy and I just kind of awkwardly glanced at her.

"Uh... do you guys always act like this?" asked a nurse we didn't realize was standing behind us this whole time.

"Uh..." I started.

"Whatever." the nurse said. "Ok, we're going to give you your epidural now so you stop screaming. Your doctor called and said that he's stuck in traffic but he'll be here soon."

The kids were playing with Alex in the waiting room because hospital rooms always give him panic attacks and TBH I don't blame him considering his history with them.

Madison was sitting on a couch giggling on Jefferson's lap, Laf and Herc were taking selfies with Angie while she screamed, and Eliza and Peggy were trying to comfort her. I was just kind of awkwardly trying to watch the football game on TV. I don't even like football. I don't even like sports. What the fuck.

"OW! Jesus fucking christ, that's like the 5th fucking time you stabbed me! Am I supposed to feel numb or something? Because I really wish I fucking was right now." yelled Angie.

"Uh... yeah we have a problem." said the nurse awkwardly, and we all looked up, concerned.

"So, before I say this, let's take a couple deep breaths and—"

"THIS ISN'T A FUCKING EPISODE OF LIZZIE MCGUIRE, DIPSHIT, I'M HAVING A BABY, NOW TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG!" screamed Angie.

Hmm... I kinda like labor-Ange.

"Okay, so, I don't think the epidural is going to work while you're in labor. It's my fault, due to me trying to stick you so many times because the space between your spinal cord and—"

"SO I'M GOING TO FEEL EVERY SECOND OF  THIS DEMON BABY RIPPING APART MY VAGINA?" screeched Angie while Peggy awkwardly rubbed her back.

"Uh, yes?" said Jefferson, and Angie fucking lost it.

She was screaming and crying, trying to get out of the bed, trying to stab the nurse, trying to smother Thomas, hating everyone with either a medical degree or a penis, and generally hating her entire life, so I decided that was a great time to go pee.

Alex's POV

I've always hated hospitals, but I've usually been able to get over it for important occasions or when I was really hurt. Like when John was shot, or Philip was born, or when I broke my wrist in a fight. (totally won)