Of Firelords and Birthday Cakes (Zutara)

Thoughts (short)

I pressed my cool hands to my cheeks to try and calm the hot red color I knew had overtaken them.

A twisting in my gut made me forget all thoughts of food. Or just anyone besides Zuko. 

Ahhhh Katara! You're so stupid! I wanted to yell at myself. 

I had ran all the way back to the house, but now was just walking around the premises, trying to calm myself down. 

My heart was still racing, and I hated it for doing so. 

How on earth could I even talk to Zuko again? I had chickened out, even though I had wanted it to happen. 

I had wanted Zuko to love me ever since he proved himself. Things just had never worked out. 

I had blown it, and it was totally my fault. 

I pressed my hand against my forehead to try and stop all these thoughts. 

It was going to be okay. Zuko was still Zuko. Nobody would ever know. It was going to be fine. Katara, it's going to be fine. 

I walked to the gardens where the light from the house streamed out onto the walkway, and I heard a muffled conversation going on. 

Taking a deep breath, I supressed my thoughts before trying to head on in and act natural. 

No one seemed to notice my entrance, except Toph, who tilted her head in my direction, but didn't say anything to me. I snuck around the group, making up an excuse in order to get out of being dragged into a conversation. 

Uncle Iroh was telling a story, and didn't seem to notice me, so I quietly slipped back to my room, where I shut the screen. I groaned, then collapsed onto the mattress that Suki, Toph, and I shared (at least until the renovation was done). 

I laid there for a very long time, my thoughts running a thousand different directions all at different speeds. I thought of Aang, and how hopeful he had been that we would be together. I thought of Sokka, and Dad. And Mom a little too. 

Zuko. 

I clenched my eyes shut and rolled over to reach for the bowl full of water next to the bed. I scooped some of it onto my face and let the refreshing coolness of my element calm me. 

Gah, why had I been such a chicken? 

I could have made his birthday. He had been so sad. He had wanted someone. 

I sighed and laid on my stomach, looking out at the moonlit gardens outside. 

At least I could have been his freind; the first person to actually trust him. He had worked so hard to gain my respect. 

Groaning, I got up to change into my nightclothes. 

As I slipped off my outer dress, the two pouches that both Iroh and Zuko had given me fell to the floor. 

I picked them up, and looked at them. Zuko had gotten Uncle tea; Iroh had gotten Zuko a birthday gift. 

I could give Iroh the one he had given me to hide for Zuko. Easy enough. 

I fingered the other one. 

Oh great. I would have to face Zuko again. Tonight. 

Clutching the two to my chest, I bit my lip and tried not to cry.