15.06 (#2)

Chapter 22

"Christian..." She began but I placed a finger on her mouth.

"No let me speak. When I saw you lying there with the empty bottle of pill and whiskey my heart felt like it was dying. I kept blinking, trying to get rid of the image of your lifeless body hoping it was all just a nightmare. When I felt your heartbeats slow down I thought I was going to die too. All the memories we shared together flashed in front of my eyes and the hope that we would make more died each second we were in that ambulance.

I don't understand why you felt like you couldn't come to me. Each day that you were gone the last seven years, my heart beat for you and only you. I hoped you would come back to me. I prayed that I would see your face one more time before I died. And then you did and my heart felt whole again. I was too consumed by my love for you that I failed to see how you were feeling. I always knew you were a strong woman so I assumed that you would be able to cope with all that had happened. I should have seen that this would be the tipping point. I should have seen all of this."

"Christian. Ever since my parents died I have been battling with depression my whole life. The last 10 years have me being strong for those around me, especially Donny and Olivia, but I can't take it anymore. I can't live for the sake of anyone else. I'm not strong, I don't know how to be. I'm a fraud. I distracted myself from this dark cloud that has loomed over me by working, or by forging relationships I knew I could never hold. I can't do this anymore. I pretend to be someone who I'm not. I'm tired of being Rori. I just want this pain to stop. 10 years is a long time to bear this amount of pain and I can't do it anymore. Why did you have to find me Christian? Why?" She started sobbing. Her small body shaking with the force.

I held her for as long as she needed to be held. Minutes ticked by and the pain was all coming out. My heart was heavy from her confession.

"We can get through this, together. You don't have to be in pain alone. Let me carry some of your burden. I'll help you fight this pain and the depression. Let me in and I promise you, you will never feel alone again. Please Rori. Let us fight it together. I'm here to stay whether you like it alone. I don't want you ever feel like you have no one to turn to. Did you see how many people love you for the person that you truly are. Maybe you can't see it yourself, but you're the kindest, most giving person I know. You're selfless, and confident. You are brave no matter what you say. To deal with all that you have alone is brave in itself. I know this will be a long process, but I'm in it for the long haul if you are. Are you in?" I asked, holding both her hands in mine. With a watery smile she nodded. I let a deep sigh of relief before getting up to kiss her on the lips.

"I love you so much Aurora."

"I love you too Christian. I always have. I'm just afraid I can never give you the love you deserve."

"You don't need to tell me you love me. I've always known." I smiled.

When she was finally released from the hospital the next day I took her to her first therapy session.

"Are you ready?" I asked her as we sat outside the therapist's office, holding her hand.

"As ready as I ever will be." She sighed deeply.

"Aurora Greensmith?" The receptionist called.

"I'm right outside if you need me." She kissed my lips before heading inside. We agreed that she needed to see a professional to help her cope with her problems, but that she should try and let me in too. Twice a week I would take her to see the therapist, and another two she visited a grief support group. For two months I drove her everywhere she needed to go when she eventually felt confident enough to travel alone.

"I'm fine Christian. You don't have to keep fussing about me." She swatted my hand away from the buttons of her coat.

"Okay okay. I love you. I'll see you for dinner okay?" I kissed her lips.