Love? Dan x reader ☹

•9 turtle days

The first week of moving in with the boys was pretty great.
It was easy, it was nice to know that there are always people who I  trust around, although...

I knew that they would see sides of me that I don't like to show, I knew that now they would know every little thing about me. It's okay, I'm fine with that, it's just not always the best because that means they start to know how you feel just based on your facial expressions.

Today was one of those hard days.
One of the days where I just feel like shutting down, where I feel useless, pathetic, stupid, unwanted, and ugly. One of those days where I grab my furriest blanket and crawl around the flat with it over my body like a ghost, with out my face being seen, not even once. A day where I don't go out of my room unless I need to. A day wondering why I'm on this earth, a day contemplating my existence.

I call them turtle days.

I woke up, felt that I was having one of those days, grabbed my blanket, put it over my head, and had a turtle day.

I crawled on my hands and knees with the blanket over my head all the way to the kitchen. I made a bowl of (your fav cereal, mine is rice crispy cereal.)
I sat at the table and ate it with the blanket over it.

I started to crawl back to my room, until I bumped into someone's legs.

"oh, hi phil"
"it's Dan, and what are you doing?"
"nothing that concerns you"
"Are you alright though?"

I tipped over from the position I was in and curled up into a ball, I had already said too much, I needed him to think I was a lump and leave so I can go to my room.

"Okay well if you're fine (y/n) then I'm gonna go"
*whispering "thanks"

I crawled a little further the ran into something else, this time I didn't know what it was, I lifted up the blanket slightly to see Dan sitting cris-cross on the floor in front of my room.

"Really, what are you doing (y/n)"
I used the curling up into a ball tactic again, but he only scooted closer, so I got back on my hands and knees.
"are you okay, you're not feeling sick are you?"
"nope."
"Are you sad?"
*curls up into ball again.
(Y/n)!
"wut?"
"Please talk to me"
"I've already said too much"
"About what, you have literally said like fifteen words."
*no sound or movement
"You can tell me anything"
*nothing
"please (y/n)"
*nothing
"Am I gonna have to take that blanket away?"
*sakes head and holds onto blanket tighter
"Okay the I guess you can go into your room."

Dan moves and i start to crawl into my room.
Then of course Dan stepped on the blanket leaving my hair a mess and my face looks like an elephant sat on it over night.

I sit up in cris-cross not the floor and look at Dan.
"I'm having a turtle day"
"And that is?"
I go on to explain to him what a turtle day is.
"I get that way too, except I call it an extacential crisis. I lay flat on the ground, doesn't matter what ground, whatever one I was standing on when my thoughts took over. So it's okay I get what you're going through."
"Thank you"
I held out my hand gesturing to give me my blanket back.
"Fine"*he handed me my blanket.
______________________________
•Dan's p.o.v.•

(Y/n) hasn't came back out of her room for the three hours.
It's lunch and so I'm sure she will come out to get her come food.
Unless I bring her food.

I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote in it.
"What do you want for lunch, I'll make it for you."
I slid it under her door the knocked hoping she would get up and respond back.
Happily, the paper came back and she said...
"Cereal"
"For lunch"
"Yes, thank you so much."

I made her her favorite cereal and walked to her room. Phil offered to take it to her but I wanted to so I said no. Phil wasn't worried about (y/n), he must have seen her like this before.
I walked to her door and noticed she had unlocked it.
I walked in and she was under her blanket on her laptop. I set down the cereal and started to walk away but she caught my hand, I turned around and she and pulled the blanket from over her head and she gave me hug.
It was a very rewarding hug.
______________________________

Phil and I were on the couch watching tv.
Phil was sitting on his spot on the couch and me in my sofa crease.

(Y/n) crawled out of her room and came up to me.
She laid by me and cuddled up to me, blanket still over her face.

I'm confused why didn't she go to Phil, she likes Phil way more than she likes me. Phil is like her brother, I'm just a friend.
I really like her, she's a gray girl, ones like her are hard to come around nowadays, and she is so kind and pretty, but I'm sure she doesn't like me back.
Unless she does, it's not like I could ask her out just yet though, she just got cheated on a couple of months ago.
I don't know, so for the rest of the episode I put my arm around her and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
We ordered take out, Phil asked me what she wanted.
"Nothing, she's just gonna want cereal, trust me"
She must have woken up because she nodded her head in agreement with me.
"Okay, I'll make you some."
She disagreed, she crawled up and made herself.
I was sorta sad though, I would have made it for her in a heartbeat.
Also she was really warm, it was so comfortable, almost like we fit together sorta like a puzzle.
____________________________
3 am

(Y/n) came in my room and laid next to me.
I put my arm around her and cuddled up to her.
"Are you alright?"
She shook her head.
"what's the matter?"
"nightmares"
"Oh no, what kind of nightmares."
*no response
She had already fallen back to sleep.
"good night my love."