where were you? || ziall

I want

After all the lies you told me, "I love you" was my favorite.

NIALL

"I love you."

"Baby, you're the only one for me."

"No one else matters besides you."

"You make me so happy."

"How did I get so lucky to have you in my life?"

"My love."

"Niall? Niall, are you there?" The sound of Liam's voice snapped him back into reality.

"Hmm?" Niall questioned while shaking his head slightly.

"You were just staring at the wall. The bell rung about a minute ago, buddy," Liam smiled sadly.

"Oh, yeah. I just—uh, I don't feel so good today. Let's just get to class, yeah?" Niall smiled.

Liam put a had on Niall's shoulder to stop him, "You know, Niall you can always talk to me. I'm always going to be here, buddy."

Zayn said that too and look what happened.

He's gone.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you." Niall smiled slightly at Liam and scooted passed him to exit the classroom and go to his last class of the day.

...

When Niall walked into his house he noticed that his mom wasn't home. He frowned and hugged his books closer to his chest. Being alone wasn't exactly new to him, but it still made him upset that his mom was barely home and that he had to be on his own for a few hours.

He let out a deep sigh and went to the kitchen to grab something to eat. Niall opened the fridge and noticed that there was no food. He ran a hand through his hair, he then started to tear up.

He didn't know why he was crying. It wasn't because the lack of food (although that upset him too), maybe it was the fact that he was alone and he just needs someone to be there with him.

"I'm fucking tired of crying." He wiped his tears angrily and walked into his room.

His heart hurt.

It was like he couldn't breathe. Like something was tugging at his heart. Every time he would let out a sigh, the pain would increase. Every living second it hurt more and he wanted it to stop.

But how?

"How do I get you out of my head, Zayn?" He mumbled quietly.

He sat at the edge of his bed and placed his head into his hands, letting out a shaky sigh. He lifted up his head, resting his chin on top of his palm. He looked around the room.

How to forget?

"It hurts that I can't talk to you. It's not the fact that you're no longer mine— well, maybe that's part of the reason. It's the fact that you left me so easily." Niall felt silly talking to himself, but he continued, "Maybe I just miss how you would treat me. You gave me the attention that I wanted and needed. I didn't know how to give much affection, Zayn and I explained that to you... and you said that you were okay with it, that you'd love me either way.

Fuck. I- I remember the first time you told me you loved me. It was the greatest moment between us, It was such a beautiful feeling. You used to tell me that you loved me so often, what happened?" Niall's voice cracked and he looked up at the ceiling, blinking away the tears.

"The day I actually told you how I felt towards you and how I'm fucking terrified in losing you. That one day you would wake up and say, "Man, I don't have feelings for this guy anymore. This isn't what I want anymore." I thought you would keep that thought away from your mind, that you knew how strong my feelings were for you, but I guess it didn't work.

I just need you to say you love me one last time and you're sorry for leading me on. I need you to explain what happened to us and why you did the things you did. But I don't want to bother you, I don't want to give you the satisfaction that I still care and that this affects me so much because I know you don't care. I'm especially scared of what the answer would be. I know that this doesn't affect you and you're probably laughing at this moment, being happy. And I hate you so damn much for it, I hate you because you don't care as much as I do and I want you to be crying for me. I want you to say to people that you miss me and that I'm always on your mind.

I want you to need me and to tell others that you want me back. For you to talk about me 24/7 that your friends get annoyed by you. I don't want to lose you completely, Zayn. I still need to know that you think about me as much as I think about you."