Hollowing Souls

Hello, Cruel World

February 11th, 2012

Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Alex stared out the frost-stained window, watching how the snowflakes drifted towards the ground. Every once and a while a gust of wind would send them scattering, leaving the house around her to howl in protest at the unrelenting gales. She pulled her thick grey blanket tighter around her, hands tightly clenched in the downy warmth, replaying yesterday's conversation over and over again.

"You'd . . . you'd just remove my grace?"

Death didn't seem altogether pleased by her constant questionings, but he answered. "Yes."

"Would it hurt?"

"Are you afraid of the pain?" The Horseman stepped closer, and Alex straightened her back, shaking her head 'No.' "Good. Now. You're starting to wear on my patience, and I'm going to need an answer. I'm only making this offer once." The Horseman extended one hand, palm up. "So what will it be. Yes or no?"

Alex stepped back, eyes narrowed in confusion. "And that'd be it. I'd be human again. Just like that?"

"Not quite. It would take a day or two for change to complete, but in the end you would be human."

Alex looked back at her black and golden wings, the feathers dull and drooping, and reluctantly dropped her blanket, curling one forward to run her fingers through the downy underfeathers. A few fell out, and she tossed them aside, a frown upon her face.

The young angel hesitated, eyes trained on the Horseman's hand. "What about Cas?"

"What about him?" Death's long fingers tightened around the head of his cane, patience visibly wearing thin. "If you don't make up your mind now, I'll leave. What will it be?"

"No." Alex murmured the word aloud, fingers gently preening her dark feathers, feeling for the oil glands on her back so her wings would once again shine.

"No." Death dropped his hand, studying the angel with his dark gaze. "Interesting choice."

"What?" Alex blinked as the Horseman vanished from sight, and she instinctively pulsed her grace out after him, pulling back when she felt his lingering chill. She hugged the damp trench coat tighter, tipping her head back to raise her voice after him. "What do you mean 'interesting?' "

The door opened, stirring Alex from her thoughts. Sam Winchester stood there, concern on his face. "Hey. Uh . . . are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam." Alex watched how the hunter stepped forward and then flinched. She tipped her head and scooted back to lean against the far wall. "Are you alright?" She patted the bed next to her, pulling Castiel's trench coat into her lap. "You seem a little . . . jumpy."

"I-I'm fine. What about you? Are you doing okay?" Sam sat down beside her, eyes narrowed in concern. "You haven't come out of your room since we came back."

"I'm fine." However, Alex leaned into Sam, resting her head against his shoulder. "Cas isn't dead. I know he isn't. I can feel it, Sam. He's out there, and he's alive. I — I don't know how, I don't know where, but I just know. He has to be."

Sam didn't immediately answer, and Alex turned her face into his neck, eyes falling closed. Suddenly Sam jumped, and Alex pulled back, looking up into his face. "I should go," he hurriedly explained. "Uh, get some sleep, okay?"

"Yeah." Alex watched him hurry towards the door. "You too."

...

A week or so passed. For seven nights Alex barely slept, and on the eight day she finally ended up falling asleep just as the sun was climbing towards the horizon. When she woke once again it was almost 10 am, and she reluctantly rolled out of bed, longing for company. She smoothed down the oversized shirt she was wearing and stumbled downstairs to see Sam sitting up on the couch with Dean sitting in a chair in front of him.