Deal With It By: Audrey B. Holley

Chapter 3

After locking my car, I slog my way up the porch. I feel so fatigue, do I really even need a night out?

I enter and kick off my shoes.

Tossing my giant coat upon the couch, I holler, "Natalie is coming over to get me in a few hours!" Which drains me so much more. 

"Wait!" My mom yells. I stop at the top of the stairs, and twist around enough to see her.

She drops her voice to normal volume. "How was work?"

I shrug my shoulders. "It was..." I move my mouth awkwardly. "...just another day." I hesitate a moment, and then turn fully toward her. "Actually, I met someone. I don't know his name, but..." I strain myself to keep from crying.

"Did you see Mrs. Rubert?"

I nod, and then head down the hall to my room. I fling my work clothes aside and pull my socks from my sweaty feet. Digging my toes into the vacuumed carpet, I unwind a little. Until now, I hadn't realized how taut I was. I lament, and allow myself to think of him. 

I am at fault with his death. I could've stopped it. I should have seen it coming. It is me whom to blame for. I was meant to be the prevention but I never intervened.

I remember it like it was only a dream...

I remember how the day before the incident he seemed to be coping with his mistreatment. But how could someone be OK with so much disrespect? Why hadn't I done all I could to save him?

Almost as if I am hauled to the past, I am standing there, witnessing the appalling event.

The thing in his tremulous hands, a light from the ceiling flashes along it's predictably smooth surface. I can only imagine the position he has put himself in...there will be no turning back. It would scar everyone if he surrendered his weapon, and saved himself from a death that lingers all around him. They'd bring it up everyday, gossip about an action he hadn't meant to do.

I am in the crowd.

Watching...

I dare to approach my best friend, for I take a step to him. My outstretched hand aches to grab it from him.

"Henry, don't do this. Just..." I try desperately to plead with him.

"Come on Keelie. You know this is what they want. That's why they keep..." He can't bring himself to say the kind of torture he feels everyday. "Remember? I'm that fat kid everyone makes fun of. May as well do this now...while I have this chance, this moment." 

He smiles in a sickening way, and I know it hurts him. I can almost touch his pain with my fingertips, for it is that visible to me.

Although his plummy lips curve at the ends, tears are evident at the brim of his lightly hinted brown eyes. His plump body stands before me in a stance that reveals his misgiving situation. But something in his irises says otherwise. He divulges an emotion to me with a look upon his face. 

He's going to do it...

"No!" I shout, lunging forward to grope for the weapon before he may proceed.

But I fail...

And the sound will forever ring in my ears.

I fan myself, and hope the tears will dry quickly. Opening a drawer, I dig around for some comfortable clothes, and when I feel as if I have gotten myself under control, I head down stairs. I inhale, stride to my mom and dad, and sit next to my older brother at the kitchen table.

"Like I told you earlier mom, Natalie is coming to get me. She wants a girls night out. Haven't seen her since the move."

"That's fine darling," she says.

"How long will you be out? Remember, tomorrow is your first day at your new school," my dad reminds me.

"I won't be out late," Is all I say. I tuck long strands of hair behind my ear, and then bend over to retrieve my brown boots.

"Honey?" 

"Yeah mom?" I can feel her eyes on me, and then I feel as if they are ALL watching me.

"I love you."

"Love you, too." 

I wait, and time passes on as if that's what it'll always do. Time goes on as well as life, because that's just the way it is. Even if someone dies, you must move on, or time, and life will go on without you, and then you'll drown in memories you wish to get out of. 

A knock at the door sends me leaping for the knob. Sudden energy is bouncing inside me. 

It's Natalie.

I collide into her, and my pain seems to numb at the presence of her. Now I can't stop grinning from ear to ear. Whirling around, I give my mom and dad a quick kiss, and then fist pump my brother, David, because he isn't one for doing that stuff. 

Tossing my coat over my body, and zipping it shut, I lock my arm with her own until we hop into the heated vehicle. 

"So, I was thinking we could just hang out at the mall or something." Her bubbly personality is pleasing to witness.

"That's fine with me." I manage a half smile like usual.