Deal With It By: Audrey B. Holley

Chapter 19

David and I are just cleaning up our mess of food and our company has left to head home.

"We should do this again sometime. It was fun." My brother reaches across the table to retrieve a used paper plate, and disposes it into the black trash bag.

I clear my throat. "So what do you think of Benjie?"

"He's a decent man. He wasn't inappropriate with you," he looks at me. "If you're asking for my approval, it's a yes." He lifts the left side of his mouth in a half smile like I typically do.

"Cool." I try to be casual, it feels odd talking about boys with my brother. "Because I like him a lot."

He laughs, but I'm not sure why until he says, "When I get a girlfriend then maybe we could go on double dates."

"That'd be cool." I think to myself a moment. "Seems like Natalie and Franky hit it off really well."

He gasps as if he was feeling the same way. "I know, right? I wasn't sure if I was the only one who noticed."

I dump the last scrap of trash into the bag just as our parents are walking through the front door.

Mother is grinning from ear to ear, but I don't pay attention to it; I observe her rounded belly. I look to  her eyes questioningly. "Mom?" Why is she getting fat all of a sudden these past two months?

"Your dad and I have some news. I think you two should sit down for this."

My father speaks first. "Your mom and I wasn't out shopping."

Mom chimes in and says, "We were at an ultra sound."

David seems to get the gist of what's going on. "You mean you're...?" He stares at her stomach knowingly.

"Pregnant!" Both of our parents exclaim.

I feel my jaw drop, but I'm too stunned to pick it up off the floor. I can already tell this is going to be one big baby because her belly has grown so much in just a short period of time.

"The baby is beautiful. You can make out it's developing feet, and every now and then I'll feel a little kick."

"Can I...?"

My mother nods, and at that David lays a palm to her stomach.

His eyes widen. "It...it moved. I felt it move!"

Dad glances at his watch. "Alright, it's late and your mom needs her rest. We should all get to bed."

* * * * *

Tonight as I lay down to doze off, I'm not troubled by thoughts of my dead best friend. Life has been so distracting that I forgot about the numbing pain. I turn to stare at the time passing by, and the digital clock informs me that it's one in the morning.

I drift to thoughts of the unknown baby. A new family member. I try to imagine a chubby infant crying in the evening, and my mother stumbling out of bed to comfort the innocent newborn, but it just doesn't click.

I subside my focus deeper, pondering the form of Benjie when it's present that I'm struggling to picture a delicate human much smaller than me. I recall the way a simple glance reveals too much of his hidden emotions, how he handles a situation that took event in his childhood. He seems to be living in the past, partaking in the memories of an abusive life. If I can overcome a tragedy that only made me stronger, then can't he get by with something that occurred years ago? I envision his swollen knuckles a few days from before. I'm sure he beat her, but I don't want to believe it. Now that the wondering has crossed my mind, I can almost hear the defeated woman pleading and crying for him to stop, but he doesn't... because his parents didn't when he begged in the same position she was in. I wish she hadn't suffered the way he did. Maybe that's what he was doing when he called in sick for work those two times a week ago. Maybe she experienced several beatings because the first wasn't enough to satisfy what he had went through.