surprise surprise, all of one direction is in here as well ;)
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niall: my larry feels have awoken
liam: u wot?
niall: i can feel it...whenever something larry is happening, my hair goes blonder
luke: wait
michael: i wasn't gonna join the convo but this is kinda weird
liam: ok but how can your hair go blonder if it's not actually blonde in the first place?
niall: shush your pretty mouth, lia
calum: hi
michael: go away calum
niall: no, he seems the most normal so i shall ask him
calum: ask me what?
niall: larry
liam: way to go, niall
calum: huh? as in louis and harry?
niall: yes, lewis and hairy indeed
niall: who else is there?
calum: erm right
luke: he says his larry feels have awoken
calum: and how do you know that?
niall: because my hair goes blonder
calum: but that's not possible beca-
niall: say no more
liam: oh for god's sake
michael: i'm having a mid-life crisis
luke: you're only 19 (a/n: just preTENd)
niall: nialler is here to help you out then!
michael: i'd rather not...
niall: shush, mikayla
luke: so i'm the only one who doesn't have a female name?
niall: lucy are you serious?
luke: :))))
michael: can you foCUS ON ME PLS
michael: IM DYING HERE
calum: whats going on
liam: u wot
michael: there are two spiders (one's really hairy)
niall: OMG IS HARRY IN YOUR ROOM?
liam: he said HAIRY, niall
niall: oh
michael: pLEASE HELp
At that moment, Michael was almost 100% sure that he was going to die. Whether the cause was a heart attack from the fear of being in the presence of two very big spiders, or because of the venom that they so gracefully carry around. He cautiously moved his foot underneath his blanket that he had been using as a defensive mechanism, all the while holding his phone in his other hand.
Should he throw the phone at them? No, his aiming is shit, considering the fact that he can't even piss properly without getting it everywhere. Literally everywhere. He couldn't even get two with one, anyways.
"Oh, fuck me," he hissed when one of the spiders made a weird, squeaky like sound. Michael was biting on the inside of his cheek hard, trying to keep away the screams. He'd seem like an idiot in front of his parents.
"Maybe if I just..." he whispered and very fast sat up straight and squealed when the small spider hopped on the big spider. His eyes widened and he unlocked his phone fast.
michael: oh myGOG
niall: what happened mikayla
calum: shit mikey
michael: GUYS
luke: ??
niall: what is going on? your suffering has made it hard for me to predict larry
liam: omg.
He watched as the small spider made weird motions while it was on top of the big one, almost as if it was humping the big spider. No, no, no. This couldn't be.
michael: i think i'm watching spider porn
calum: lol wait they have that on pornhub?
niall: shut it, casey! haven't you been reading anything he has been texting? there are two spiders in his room!!
niall: wait WHAT THE FREAK, MICHAEL???
michael: i think these two spiders are fucking
michael: ThEy'rE FUCkinG MOANINIG WAHT THE SHIT
luke: GET OUT OF THERE
luke: IDK HOW BUT GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
michael: OK I'M JUMPING OUT MY WINDOW
Michael hesitantly opened his window and estimated the length he would fall. He was only on the second floor of their house, so it couldn't be more than five meters at the very least. He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe.
"Fuck you, you fuckboy spider."
And then he jumped, with his fucking eyes closed, and landed right on his front. He groaned but brought the phone up to his face.
michael: i made it guys
niall: mikayla please tell me you didn't hurt yourself
luke: DUUUDEEE NOW THATS PUNK ROCK
calum: luke shut the fuck up
liam: i don't understand you children
michael: oh well for god's sake
luke: what happened?
niall: what is it mikayla?
calum: ??
liam: u wot?
michael: i forgot to wear my fucking pants
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heLLO HELLo
yes there was no ashton idk why
he was probably masturbating loL (you'll understand if you've been reading this for a while)
anyways this chapter was fun to write i love
ily guys <3 and thx for 1.8k reads!!! nearly there 2k B-)
-sena xx
