The Scars Within

The Rumors

The rest of the school day went by smoothly. Nobody brought up the crash, and I wasn't stared at. Overall it went better than I thought it would. Walking to my locker, I grab the books I need for homework, and start heading home. As always, my thoughts start to wander. 'It's really weird that Stacy wasn't at school today. Not that I'm complaining of course. I wonder if Dad has finished the funeral arrangements for Mom. Hopefully he's not totally stressed out right now. What about that new girl? She seems nice. Maybe I can have a real friend. Maybe. Sighing, I walk up to the front door of the house. Pausing, I hear yelling from inside. Cautiously opening the door, I quietly slip inside. Tiptoeing through the house, I follow the yelling to the living room. Peeking around the corner, I see Dad and Mr. Severn in a heated argument. 'Oh boy. This isn't good.'

"You really expect me to believe that? Carmin would never do that!" Me? What did I do? Fully stepping into the room, both men turn to look at me. Suddenly, Mr. Severn sneers.

"There's the little whore herself." Excuse me? Before I can say anything, my Dad intervenes.

"Don't you dare call my daughter that! I don't know where in the hell you got this 'information' from, but it's entirely false. Keep making these false accusations and I'll sue you for slander before you can even blink Severn." Scoffing, Mr. Severn glares at my father and I, then leaves.

"Uh, Dad? What was that about?" By now he's practically seething with anger. He looks me straight in the eye.

"Apparently, rumors have started about you. People believe that you were texting Leon at the time of the accident, and that he crashed replying to you. Because of these rumors, others have started saying things like you've been trying to 'get in Leon's pants' and how 'he tries to get you to leave him alone, but you won't stop' and things like that. For the icing on the cake, there's a conspiracy that you paid Leon to kill Mom. Severn was here to blame you for his son's imprisonment and is now trying to press charges against you." Blinking, I stare back at him.

"You don't believe him, right? I mean, I never even liked Leon. Plus, why would I hire an idiot like him to kill Mom? Hell, why would I try to kill Mom? I mean, I loved her! Please, tell me you don't believe all this bull!" Seeing my Dad's look, I start to falter. "Wait... No... You believe them over me? I'm your daughter! Never once have I gotten in trouble, or done anything that you didn't agree with! You said it yourself that all of this is false! Why are you not believing me?"

"Carmin..."

"No! Tell me you don't believe this load of bull, Dad!" Looking into my father's eyes, I can see his distrust. Tears fill my eyes. My own father doesn't believe me. I whisper out, "Why won't you believe me Dad?" He stays silent. Choking on a sob, I turn and run upstairs and into my room. Slamming the door shut, I collapse onto my bed. 'Why? Why me? What did I do wrong? I never wanted any of this to happen! WHY?' That night, I cry myself to sleep.

The next morning, I feel terrible. I don't want to go to school, but missing two days in the first week of school would look bad. At least today is Thursday. That means soon enough it will be the weekend. I slowly get ready for school, then walk downstairs. I see my father sitting at the kitchen table, and decide I don't need breakfast today. Quickly walking out the door, I make my way to school.

When I get there, I wish I had stayed in bed. Everywhere I go, people whisper. 'Did you hear about Carmin? She hired Leon to kill her mother.' 'She is such a slut, following Leon around like that.' 'Why doesn't she just leave?' 'What kind of twisted bastard kills their own mother?' Glancing around, I see Stacy among the whisperers. Figures. She stays with the 'Big Fish' until it gets caught, then finds a new fish to follow. I always knew that one day my 'friends' would turn on me. Ignoring the whispers, I go through the day as normally as I can. By the time lunch comes, the rumors have evolved. Now I've 'had' all the boys in the high school, and Leon was the last one for me to 'get.' Gee, I wonder who started that rumor. *Cough,* Stacy, *Cough Cough.* Whatever. That just gives me more of a reason to hate people. Settling in to my spot on my couch, I relax until it's time for science.

When I get to the science room, I notice that Mr. Dawson seems to be waiting for me. Once the door closes behind me, he starts to speak.

"Hello Carmin. I assume you've heard the rumors spreading?" Seeing me nod my head, he continues. "Well, I wanted to let you know that I don't believe them. I'm sure the rest of the staff agrees. You're a good girl, Carmin. I also know how much you loathed Leon. If you ever need someone to vent to, I want you to know I'm here to help, alright?" Tears come to my eyes. Thank God someone believes me. Nodding my head once again, I quickly hug Mr. Dawson, then take my seat. Just as I wipe the tears from my eyes, the rest of the class starts coming in. Unsurprisingly, no one sits near me. I could care less. I know that at least one person believes me, and that's good enough for me.

The rest of the school day passes like the beginning. Whispers, rumors, stares, everything. I can honestly say that I felt happier than I ever have when the final bell rang. I make it home in record time. Slipping my shoes off by the door, I head for my room. I see my Dad stand from his spot on the living room couch. It's obvious he wants to talk. Well, I guess that sucks for him, because I don't. Walking past him, I go to my room. Setting my backpack on my desk, I pull out my phone, plug it into my speakers, and crank some music on high. Pulling out my homework, I get started on everything that needs to be done. I don't go downstairs for dinner. After finishing my work, I turn off the music. Stretching in the chair, I hear my Dad knock on the door. Thank God I locked it. I still don't want to talk to him. I see the doorknob jiggle, then stop. I hear him sigh on the other side.

"Good night, Carmin." I don't reply. He sighs again, then walks away from the door. Do I feel bad? A little. I mean, I am ignoring my father, but, he started it. I know that sounds childish, but how else am I supposed to act? Silently standing from the chair, I make my way to the door. After waiting a few minutes, I silently unlock and open the door. Peeking my head out, I make sure my Dad has gone to bed. Then I sneak downstairs, and quickly make a sandwich. Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, I quickly, and quietly, run back upstairs to my room. After eating the sandwich and taking a swig of water, I go to bed.

The sleep is anything but peaceful. All I see in my dreams is Leon in a car, then a crashing noise, then Mom's dead body. After that, I hear the whispers from earlier. I try to block them out, but it doesn't work. The whispers get louder and louder, until it sounds like they're right next to me. 'You're nothing but a murderer.' No, I'm not a murderer! 'Don't deny it Carmin, we all know you did it.' No I didn't! 'It's bad enough you're a whore, now add murderer on top?' Stop it! Just Stop! Leave me alone! Jolting up in bed, I look at the clock. Time for school.