The Scars Within

Ricca to the Rescue

Only a few days have passed since the incident in the hallway, and Ricca has been staying near me in school as much as she can. I still didn't know that it was her at the end of that hall though. I just thought she wanted to hang out more. Since she started hanging around my locker after school, Jason, Rian, and Travis haven't bothered me. Apparently, they only want to mess with me when noone else is around. Today is Friday, so I don't have any homework for the weekend. The teachers here tend to be more lenient on Fridays, unless the class is roudy.

I don't have anything planned for this weekend, so if I did have some homework I wouldn't mind. It would give me something to do at least. Nowadays I lock myself in my room until I know for a fact that my Dad is either 1: Out of the house, 2: Passed out in his room, or 3: Down in his 'man cave' in the basement doing God knows what. With the third option I only run downstairs to grab food and drinks. I may seem paranoid to some, but it makes perfect sense to me. If he doesn't see me, I'm not here. That means no beatings, no insults, and no drunk father glaring at me.

I'm pretty sure my Dad has a 'business' trip this weekend though, so I get the house to myself. That's a relief. I love my room, I really do, but after spending a few months straight in there, it gets kind of stuffy. Opening the windows does help sometimes, but not as much as I wish it would.

The cutting has gotten worse these past couple days as well. Now I cut however many times I feel I need. It's generally only two or three, but it happens more than twice a day now. I decided to move to my upper thighs, since that would be less noticeable, even with shorts on. Once the scars on my arms heal up, at least until they don't look like what they actually are, then I'll start wearing short sleeves. I'm pretty sure that Ricca is starting to get suspicious. I mean, who wouldn't when their best friend wears long sleeved shirts or sweatshirts during 80 degree weather?

To add on top of Ricca's constant surveillance, she's been wanting to stay over at my place for the last few weeks. I, of course, denied her request. With my luck, the day she'd come over would be the day Dad is actually home. As I've said before, I don't want her involved in any of this. I get the feeling that she'll find out soon enough though. It's been hard enough to keep these past few months a secret, so I'm not sure how much more I can take.

One bit of good news right now is that I have a summer job. I applied to work at a big bookstore that's about 20 minutes from my house. Luckily, I was the first to apply and I had 'everything they were looking for,' so I got hired right away. They want me to start in a couple of weeks, so I'm excited. The pay is good, plus I get to be surrounded by books all day. What kind of bookworm doesn't want that? The best part is I get 20% off all purchases! They're probably going to regret giving that kind of discount to me. I'll just have to make the most of it while it lasts.

I'm in study hall right now, so it's not long before I get to go home. Hopefully I can get out the doors before Ricca finds me. She didn't come with me to the library today, so I get the feeling that she has something planned. There's only about five minutes of the day left, so I have all of my stuff packed up. As I walk down to the first story of the library, I see that there are actually a lot of students milling around. It's surprising because usually I'm the only one here. No one seems to notice my presence, so I just make my way to the door and into the halls.

I'm able to make it to my locker without drawing any attention to myself. I quickly put all of my books into the small space and grabbed my backpack. The bell rings, and as I turned around, I almost have a heart attack. Ricca was standing right behind me, backpack in hand.

"Jesus, Ricca! What the Hell?" I pant out, trying to recover from shock.

"Sorry to scare you Carmin, but I was waiting for you. Now that you have your stuff, let's get going!" She replies with a smile on her face.

"Get going where, exactly?"

"Your house of course! Since you won't invite me over or let me come over when I ask, I figured I would just follow you home, whether you like it or not." Once she finishes her statement, we stare at each other in silence. Ricca is rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet, a goofy grin on her face. I, on the other hand, am staring back with the most deadpan look I can muster.

"Seriously?" I ask, eyebrow twitching.

"Seriously."

"Why?"

"Oh my goodyness Carmin, I already told you 'why.' You won't let me come over, so now I'm coming over whether you like it or not. Now, let's get going. Everyone else already left the school." After grabbing my hand, Ricca starts to drag me out of the school. Within a few minutes, we arrive at my house. Not even bothering to wait for me, Ricca bursts inside, and heads up to my room. Before I can stop her, she has already started unpacking all of her things onto my bed and floor. By the time I catch up to her, she's already making her way to the bathroom, toothbrush and various other things in hand.

My eyes widen. 'I never put the razor away this morning. I didn't wash it either. Oh shit!'

"Hey, Ricca! You can't just go running around here without asking!" My yell is useless. Before I even finish getting the words out of my mouth, she's already in the bathroom. I run over to the door, and jerk it open. As I take in the scene, my face pales. She found it. Ricca turns to look at me, eyes wide.

"Carmin...?"