You're Driving Me Mental - Phan

Chapter 9

Dan's POV

White can drive you crazy. I had three weeks of staring up at the white ceiling. I had three weeks of looking left and right, only to be met by white. Everything in the small white box was, you guessed it, white. There was an uncomfortable white bed in a corner topped with white blankets. There was a white door along a wall completed with one way glass, the white facing towards me so people could stare in unnoticed. I was wearing a white jumper along with white joggers. The only colours in the room were my hair and the sludgy food that was served through a white slot in the white door on a white tray. I was supposed to think in the room. I was supposed to try and overcome my fears. But if only made things worse in my books. I wonder if this has ever actually helped anyone in the world? Who the hell thought locking someone in an empty room would help them become normal? What is normal other then symbols in a specific order, described by only more symbols in specific orders. The only interesting point of my day was when I was given food and pills through the door. It amazed me how they could just shove food through the door then abandon me with only my thoughts as company. My thoughts hadn't been good company before but with no one around, it was only me vs them. They had a gun that ran on memories and facts. I was forced to fight with my fists. They won, they always won. They would easily shoot me down before I had a change to raise my guard.

Hey
Hi Dan how are you doing?
You know why you're here don't you?
They've given up Dan
No one ever stays for a reason
Why would anyone want to stay with you?
What makes an anxious teen who can't seem to control himself, special?
The fact that you're mad
Unwanted by the world and everyone inside it.
You should have know that when you're dad was around.
I wonder where he is now?
You deserved what he used to do to you Dan.
After all
Who would want you?
No one.

Phil's POV

It had been three weeks since I last saw Dan and honestly, I didn't mind. I got a room to myself, there was no one there to tell on me if I didn't eat. I hadn't managed to push Pj and Louise away from me, they where much to nice. But I managed to avoid them like everyone else, like everything else. I was alone. I was calm. I was happy. Until dinner came.
"Phil honey, come with me please." Jane's soft voice had a way of making inevitably bad decisions seem perfect and welcoming.
"Ok. Where are we going?" I spoke up as I followed her out of room 27.
"For a chat with me, and if that fails, a proper conversation with the professionals. They are letting me talk to you first." Her voice was still soft and welcoming, but only registered itself as venom in my ears.
"Wait. What!". Our walking and talking thing came to a holt as she looked at me with pity and I looked at her with hatred.
"Phil, you've been finding ways to avoid eating for only you know how long, frankly, I'm amazed you're still alive and that MI5 haven't picked up on your skills and recruited you for a mission." She tried to lighten up the mood, she really tried. She came out with a comment that would have been nice, in any other situation that is. Her eyes softened and she smiled at me. But it didn't work. Of cause it didn't work. So we just kept walking to the corridor of rooms. Eventually we stepped inside the closest vacant room and she closed the door.
"Phil, sit yourself down and we can talk about this okay?" Jane phrased it like a question but we both knew it was a command.
"I'm going to get straight to the point Phil, why haven't you been eating?" The question had an obvious answer, I didn't want to be fat anymore besides, everyone was skinnier then me anyway. I didn't want to be useless, I wanted to prove to my self that I could commit to something. I didn't deserve the food, people are starving all over the world and food was wasted on me. I was useless. I didn't deserve food. The thoughts span around my head for a while before I looked back at the figure in the chair I front of me and shrugged.
"Phil. You can either tell me or a room full of strangers who will take it in turns to ask you questions. It's your choice of course, but you need to pick now." Her voice had lost the sugar coating and rainbows to reveal rain and fire. I was drowning and burning whilst swimming and fighting. I couldn't take it anymore.
"I'm fat and worthless, there is just no point in eating. I wanted to look good but I was useless so I gave up. I don't deserve food or anyone to care." It came crashing past my lips and hit Jane but she did not flinch.
"Phil, I am aware telling you that those are lies, that you are an amazing person, won't help right now. But you must believe that you are worth something, just like everyone else is. You made it to the world so make the most of it whilst you still have it because you never know when it could leave." I wasn't sure how that was supposed to help, but I trusted her enough to nod along.
"Okay then. When Dan is back in reality, I've asked him to stay with you. It's for his benefit and yours so I believe it's in your interest to try and get through to him. He is going to make sure you eat and you simply have to speak to him every now and then, is this okay with you?"
"Okay but Dan isn't going to talk to me, he hates me." Her face softened again and she smiled.
"Phil, he doesn't hate you, I know that for sure. Just keep trying with him, and you never know what you will find." Jane winked at me before standing up and exiting the room.

Well Phil
I must admit
You did that well
You fat dick head
Good luck with Dan
You will ruin him even more
Ha ha ha
Hey Phil,
You're fat