Sad Song (Garmau AU) • Undergoing Editing

|twenty-five|

><Aphmau><

"What do you mean?" Garroth asked, his voice nonchalant.

"Yes, being able to sing for others and inspire them to follow their dream is awesome and all, but not being able to lead a normal life isn't. Sometimes, I wish I could go with you to a bar or to a festival in the city but we can't. Because we're famous in others' eyes. We can't be a normal couple, Garroth. I thought you would see that."

"Who says we can't?"

I turned towards him finally, looking him square in the eyes, "Our fans, the studio, the staff, our bosses, everyone!"

"Well we can defy them!"

"No, Garroth, we can't! Because if we do, we lose everything! Each other, our careers, and more!"

"Well..." he took a deep breath, "If we can't be a normal couple in your eyes, then I guess we can't be a couple at all."

"What?" I breathed, barely audible, "You can't mean that..."

"I do mean it. I'd rather focus on my career than worry about trying to make us feel as normal as possible."

"N-no... I-I didn't mean it like that..."

"It's what it appeared to be," Garroth said, crossing his arms. Redness crept up to my face, full of emotions of anger, shame, pity, everything. I held my hand up, took off the mitten, and tore the thing he gave me after the last concert two days ago off my finger. I threw the promise ring on the ground and turned around, trudging back off towards the bus.

As I walked, I heard the crunching of snow as he bent to pick up the ring, but I didn't turn back. I let the tears fall. If he didn't see that me wanting to lead a normal life was my deepest desire, then he didn't deserve to see any of me at all. This was what I was scared of all along; starting a relationship and going on the high, only to fall down again as my heart was crushed. Again.

I came across a forest, and I stood there staring at it for the longest time before walking into it, shivering through my wool clothing. After a long walk, a clearing opened in front of me, branches of the trees stretching overhead to make a partly-enclosed canopy. It felt like a cliche movie spot where someone would go to cry, so I took advantage of it to be a cliche person.

I wiped the tears away, I have to be strong. You don't need him to make you happy. But deep down, I knew these were lies, they were fake thoughts messing with me. He was everything to me. He made me happy.