Talk to Me [The Mentalist]

7

After Lisbon had left I remembered her words. They'll need to ask some questions about what had happened. I stiffened. Cho will interrogate me. I felt despair overwhelming me. I didn't want to talk about all of this! I couldn't! Just a moment before I would panic again I remembered I could use breathing techniques to calm myself. Concentrate yourself on breathing. Slowly in... and out... and again in... and out.

It worked. I relaxed slightly and a small smile lit up my face. It always worked. I had told Charlotte to use this whenever she was afraid. And I could see her bright smile appearing on her face whenever this method was successful. Charlotte, just one moment later I realized that I would never see her beautiful face again.

She was gone. In a painful way. Her face was evident of that. I saw the little tear running down her face. And the crimson red blood that stained her little body. The blood rushed through my veins. My heartbeat quickened. I felt again the fear, the feeling that something was wrong. I stood at the top of our staircase, and then ran towards the door.

I read the message. What I have done to your lovely wife and child. I could see every word of it perfectly clear. I screamed. I couldn't bear it. I knew what was awaiting me behind that door. I didn't want to see it! But my body didn't obey. I saw myself stepping closer and pushing the door open. Tears ran down my face. I switched on the lights. I didn't want to! I couldn't control my body! I screamed again and again. Make this pain stop! The dead bloodstained bodies lay in front of me.

I wanted to turn my head. I wanted to stop looking at them. But still my body wouldn't obey. I was forced to see Angela's agonized face, the small tear running down Charlotte's cheek. I screamed, tried to get hold of something. I rocked back and forth. Why wouldn't this picture change? No matter in what direction I was turning, the room followed. I couldn't escape!

The panic got unbearable. I tried to scream it away. I tried to get hold on something. At the same time I tried to get rid of anything touching me. I shook violently.

And then I realized that nothing and no one could possibly touch me. I was alone in our house, alone with two corpses. But there were definitely strong grasps at each of my limbs. Confused I stopped shaking. The grasp didn't loosen. It was holding me down, pushing me into the bed. Wait, wasn't I standing?

The confusion took over and the panic ebbed away. I tried to make sense of my surrounding. Slowly the picture of Angela and Charlotte faded to the back of my head. Another picture build up in front of my eyes. Sounds reached me. "I think he's over it. Should we loosen the grip?" I blinked and my vision was finally back. Four men were standing around my bed. Each one pushed me down with their full weight. "Yes. Back away. But stay careful.", one of the men said and they slowly took one step backwards. I gazed at the covers and pillows lying on the ground. A vase with flowers lay shattered next to the nightstand.

A woman cautiously approached me. "Sir, are you okay?" Honestly I shook my head. I couldn't make sense of it. What had happened? The woman was now standing right next to my bed. "Are you hurt?" I shook my head again. I was hurt, but not the way someone could possibly help me about.

Another man stepped through the door. "Is he okay? Can we talk to him?" I recognized the voice. The small Asian man was as casual as always. The woman turned around to face the man. "I suppose you can try, Mr. Cho." She waved her hand to the man that had held me to leave the room with her and Cho stepped next to my bed.

I watched him with my eyes wide open. I wanted him to stay silent. But of course he didn't. He just had to do his job. "Jane, could you describe what happened when you came home that evening? Was there anything that was different?"

And again I was running the way to the door of my house. Again I felt the panic build up. Again I was running up the stairs. Again I was standing in front of the door screaming. Again I had lost control over my body and thoughts, not noticing the people running back in my hospital room. I was in my house again...