Talk to Me [The Mentalist]

8

I felt exhausted. Every time I closed my eyes, every time I fell asleep, the same nightmare repeated over and over again. My head hurt because of the lack of sleep, but I was afraid to fall asleep. Every one coming into my room seemed to have no interest in how I am feeling. Weren't doctors supposed to care for their patients? Well, I was not physically hurt, so maybe that was the issue. I hadn't had any visitors than doctors and nurses. Just then someone knocked on the door again. I supposed it was the one bringing lunch. It should be about time now. I didn't quite know. I lost every sense of time. When the door opened, nobody in a white overall came in, but a woman in black jeans and leather jacket.

It took me a moment to recognize her. Of course, my colleague, for a short time though, Teresa Lisbon. I felt the anxiety rise again. The last time someone from the CBI visited, I ended up having a panic attack. "Hey, Jane." She greeted her voice friendly and quiet. A small smile was settled on her face. I tried to manage a smile, to no avail. I was broken. My every happiness was murdered. She looked at me with slight pity dragged a chair over to the side of my bed. I just watched her. "How are you?" I dragged away my gaze, watching the white wall opposite my bed once again. "How am I supposed to feel? I lost my family." My voice was creaky. It was the first time I spoke at all since I was here. "Why do you care anyways? You're just here to ask me other questions."

She shook her head slightly. "No, I am not. I just wanted to see how you are." I gazed back at her, slightly stunned when I saw the genuine expression on her face. She spoke on: "We won't come to interrogate you anymore. The doctors said you have a very sincere trauma." I nodded. They told me the same, well, just that thing with the trauma. "It's understandable though. I suppose nearly nobody can imagine what you're going through." I nodded again. She really visited just to see how I was.

I felt like I'd owe her an answer. "I feel horrible. I am afraid of falling asleep." This time she was the one to be stunned. "Afraid to fall asleep?" She repeated my words. I nodded, just again. "Every time I have the same nightmare over and over again. " I said barely audible. She watched me sympathetically. "Couldn't the doctors offer you some pills to make you sleep?"

I remembered the nurse that came in yesterday trying to convince me of taking some of the white tablets. "I don't trust doctors." An expression of understanding rushed over her face, though it's not quite understanding for my point of view. "So they did offer you some, but you refused to take them."

I shook my head in agreement, feeling slightly ashamed. How she said it, it let me sound stupid. "You really should try them, you know? I can see how exhausted you are. Some sleep would suit you well." I looked at the sheets on my bed, white as everything else in here. I know she probably was right. She rose from the chair and I felt anxious once again. She was the first one in days just to come around to talk to me. I didn't want her leave yet.

My thoughts must have been visible on my face, because she chuckled. "Relax; I am just looking for someone who can give you sleeping pills. I'll be back soon." She left the room and to my surprise I really did relax. It felt so good to let all the tension drain from my body and I sink back into the pillows. When she returned, she handed a little paper box over to me. "Take one before you go to sleep." I decided I would try them. What more harm could they possibly do? And if they did any harm, well maybe I was going to be reunited with Angela and Charlotte again. That would be not as bad either.

Then her mobile rang. She looked at the caller ID on the display and then accepted the call. "Lisbon... I am in the hospital... Yeah, visiting Jane... No, not interrogating him or anyone else... Yeah, twenty minutes... I'm on my way..." I watched her, supposing that it was either Cho or Rigsby calling. "You have to go back to work?" I assumed. "Yeah, right. I'm sorry, Jane, but I can't stay any longer. There's a new case." I smiled, the first time I didn't fail to. "Bye, then." She returned the smile with a slightly tilted head. "'Bye, Jane."

After she left and closed the door I recalled her visit. I felt my stiff muscles, that haven't moved in days and I felt the urge to leave my bed. So I rose and swung my legs over edge of the white mattress. I enjoyed the feeling of bending my knees again. I didn't know someone could possibly miss something like that so much. I stood up and just one moment later fell back at the bed. My vision blurred. I groaned. Of course. I hadn't moved in days. My cardiovascular system could as well be dead as the state it was in now. I tried to stand up again, this time much slower. Carefully I walked over to the water dispenser and took a cup. I sipped a few times, until I realized how dry my throat felt. I took another cup, then another.

After drinking that water I felt a bit refreshed, as if someone had cleaned my inside and made place for new energy. I opened the door and turned right. Maybe there was something like a visitor room. And I was right. Just a few doors on there was a door open and inside the room were chairs, small tables, and bowls of fruits and cookies. Furthermore at the wall was a table with coffee cans and hot water, tea bags und cups beneath it. I walked over and grabbed a cup. I'd always loved tea and thought it was time for a cup again. Then I inspected the sorts of teas they were offering. I decided to take some Earl Grey and put the bag in my cup. Then I poured hot water over it.

Slowly I walked over to the chairs, dipping the tea bag in and out. The smell of tea reached my nostrils and I smiled. Again. This was a quite good day. A few minutes later I was satisfied with the intensity the tea had reached and I turned around to see if they had something to put the tea bag in. I noticed a small bin next to the coffee table threw the bag in it and returned to my seat. I took a sip of the tea and comforting warmth rushed down my throat. Tea, like a hug in a cup.

I leant back, finally being able to relax. I heard a whisper. Confused I turned around to see from where it came, but there was nobody else in this room. Again I heard that whisper. This time though I had the feeling that there were more voices waiting to be heard. From second to second they grew stronger. It occured to me that just I could hear them. And they had noticed that I could.

I closed my eyes. I had forgotten about this, but of course it wouldn't last. Nobody had ever truly believed me. Except some naive people. A decision popped up in my mind. Nobody believed me, well, then I would tell them they were right. I would deny every time someone accused me of this. I didn't want this anymore.

After all, my psychic abilities were to blame for this whole situation.

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I's about twice as long as the former chapters. Can happen, when you're bored in school... :D

It's happier than the last chapters, so, how did you like it? ^^