Silent

14| The One Where They Did English.

Jesse was sitting alone. He was sitting alone in English and it was eating my heart out.

He looked miserable and lonely and just plain sad. Grey.

I wanted to go and ask him why, I wanted to kiss him and make it all better, or at least be with him till he was happy again, but my heart was too scared.

Scared that he would not want me there. Scared that he would end up hurting me.

Just plain scared.

But he was so miserable. And I still did care for him. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help it.

My poor Jesse, alone and sad. Once upon a time, he used to make everyone in a room laugh as soon as he entered. People loved him. And I loved him. He was my special boy, my sweetheart.

He was only serious around me, and no one else. It made me feel so special.

Until I let go of everything we had. Until it happened. Until I changed. Until Jesse changed.

I missed the old Jesse. A pang of nostalgia hit me, and made me wistfully ache to have it all back.

Why was I even thinking about this anyway? I didn't need more sadness. The night's dream had been enough. The bell rang, stealing my attention away from Jesse.
"Remember to study for tomorrow's class test," Miss Clara said loudly so as to be heard over the bell as people quickly made their way out of the class.

"Damn, I hate English class tests," Derrick groaned, scowling. I smiled. Then someone nudged me at the back.
"Excuse me," Jesse said, not even looking at who I was as he brushed past me hastily.

"What's crawled up his pants?" Derrick scowled at him moodily, and I shrugged in reply, watching Jesse hurry past everyone.

"C'mon, let's go, I feel like killing someone as soon as I see that dude," Derrick gave another scowl towards Jesse.

"Who's the victim of your scowls now, Rick?"
I looked up to see Cameron make his way through the crowd towards us. He would have English next, so the class we had just left would be his class now.

He had his beautiful smile ready on his face as usual, his scar stretching over his cheek to remind us of his perfection. His teeth glistened like pearls in the sun and my heart felt queer. I waved shyly at him and his eyes warmed and softened even more.

He came over to me and slung an arm around my side, giving me a quick squeeze.

Dun dun dun.

My heartbeat became even faster and I stumbled, only to remain standing because Cameron was holding me.
"My gorgeous goddess, please do try and refrain from slipping, for your mortal admirers do not feel that they would remain happy if you get hurt," he teased me. I slapped his chest lightly, feeling it rumble beneath my fingers as he laughed, and blushes lightly.

Derrick looked at the scene queerly. I looked up to catch his eye. He gave me a tight smile, and looked away. It felt like he knew.

He couldn't, could he? Oh lord, I hoped he didn't. I felt anxious.

Liking Cameron was my guilty pleasure. I didn't want anyone to know about it, I didn't want him to find out, I didn't want to spoil this friendship, I didn't want to destroy the one good thing which was happening in my life.

I looked away as well. To find Tony, one of the guys who played in Derrick's team make his way over to us.
"Wright, come over for a second, I want to speak to you," Tony said seriously.
"What's wrong?"Derrick asked crossly.
"I'd not like to speak in front of everyone," Tony looked around hesitatingly at us.