Darkness

Darkness Sixteen

Chapter Sixteen

Hours later I woke back up to find Olivia siting in the room with me. She was sleep herself so I didn't want to wake her. I sat up and looked at the time. It was 5:00, usually around this time I would be seeing Mike either in my room, or in his. I sighed at the fact he wasn't here. I missed him so much, I really just wanted him to be safe with whatever he was doing. It was unlike him to not show up for at least a minute. I just wanted to be in his warm crisp embrace. I didn't know what to do at all. I had to train to get better and stronger in order to protect everyone. Everyone that has taking care of me and been there for me. Taylor, Olivia, Arianne, Cole surprisingly, and of course Mike. He's been going out of his way to protect me and save me from all this nonsense. If anything bad happened to any of these guys it would be my fault. Not just because I blame myself for everything, but because I couldn't do anything to stop it. I mean look at me, I've been choked to deaf, hurt by one guy I'm not so sure about. I was defenseless and they all protected me from getting seriously hurt.

I stood up still thinking about it and fell to my knees in tears. I couldn't stop crying, the more I thought about it the more tears came down my face. I was nothing, I was helpless, I couldn't protect anyone the way they protected to me. I was so useless like my father always told me. I would never be anything more but useless. He always reminded how I was trash and how I didn't mean anything to him. I meant nothing but shit to him. He was happy when I was going to this school. He may not have showed it, but it was all in his face that he was excited for me to leave. I remembered it like it was yesterday, it was pitiful.

I got back up and my breath grew weak. I felt myself getting light headed and laid back down as quickly as possible. I turned to face Olivia and she opened her eyes with a smile. I wondered why she was so smiley. Everyday this girl was so cheerful like she had nothing but happiness in her heart. I wish my world was like that. Nothing is happy for me. I have nothing but sadness in my heart. It's like ever since I turned 7 I've been unhappy. I don't exactly know what happened to me that day, but I know it had something to do with my father. That's why I always hated him.

Olivia looked at me and knew something was wrong with me. She came closer and stared at me pouting her lips "What's the matter sweet pea, someone doesn't look to well." She said in a little baby voice.

I laughed a little bit, it was pretty cute for her. "I'm just thinking you know?" I told her hesitantly.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked curiously.

I couldn't just not tell her, but she would of thought I sounded crazy. Then again, Olivia was a nice yet little minded girl. She wouldn't understand me at all.  It was really no point in telling her anyway. In the end I was still going to be a failure and no one was going to care. "You wouldn't understand me, but all I can say is that I want Mike here right now so I can tell him how I feel." I said to her the honest truth. That's all I wanted was him to be by my side right now telling me that he loves me.

Olivia walked up to me and sat on the edge of the bed. "Mike is coming and he's coming to see you. I know he hasn't been around, but Mike is really a sweet guy. I know how much you feel for him and I know he feels the same way. That's why he's out there risking his life to protect you."

That was exactly what's the problem. He was protecting me, risking his life for me. He had more going for his self than I do. I should be the one out there protecting him from getting his self hurt for me. This made me sick to my stomach. I hated that he was going to get himself killed and for what? Me? Was I really worth getting killed for? I didn't think so at all. I turned to face the door just staring and I saw that door knob turn. I sat up and the door cracked opened.