Set My Whole World On Fire (Austlan Cashby)

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Hi I'm back! I know I should probably finish the 7th chapter of my other story, but I'm dreading finishing it! I'll get to it I promise.

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I woke up to the sound of an alarm clock screaming in my ear. It was way too early to be up, but school awaits. I slid out of bed and practically crawled to my bathroom, grabbing a pair of ripped purple skinny jeans and a Led Zeppelin tank top on the way.

I brushed my long ginger hair out of my eyes and sighed, putting on a thin layer of concealer to cover the overwhelming amount of imperfections on my face and lined my eyes with eyeliner. I knew that my dad would be mad, but I guess I stopped caring a long time ago.

Downstairs, my dad was still passed out on the couch from a late night of drinking and gambling. When I sneaked down the stairs, he grumbled at me and reached for a blanket, throwing up on the floor in the process. Damn this all to hell.

"Shh... Dad, lay down okay? I'll grab you a blanket. Do you want something to eat?" Why do I still care about him after everything he's done? He didn't care about me.

He grumbled at me again and smacked me in the face. I checked the time and figured that making him some waffles wouldn't set me back all that much. So I went into the kitchen and picked up the box of frozen fat and popped two of them in the toaster. They crisped in a minute and I put them on the table.

I walked out the door, putting in my earbuds and humming quietly to the sweet music of Pink Floyd. Music was the only thing I had to rely on in my life. I had no friends, no hobbies, and my father hates me. But after years of this, I'm used to it. It's how it's always been and it's never going the change.

I felt a hand go onto my shoulder. I practically jumped out of my skin.

"Excuse me," a boy said. He was extremely tall and skinny compared to me. "can you walk with me to school? I'm pretty sure I'll get lost if I try walking by myself." His eyes were a warm brown with reddish flecks in the middle. They were fucking gorgeous.

"Um... You might not want to do that. I'm not very popular; the exact opposite actually." The ground suddenly became very interesting.

"I don't care. You seem nice enough, and the people who don't like you are probably assholes. I'd rather be friends with you." He smiled at me. Oh god his smile was amazing.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"It's Austin, Austin Carlile! And you?"

"My name is Alan Ashby."

We got to school and people's head started turning to see the tall, attractive new kid hanging out with the school fag. I hope he doesn't get into trouble for this.

He seemed to walk closer to me. I didn't really understand why he trusted me, or why he still wanted to walk with me after I told them I was the school's scapegoat for pent up anger and frustrations. Sometimes people are confusing.

We walked to the office and got his schedule. He was a year older than me, but we still shared a lot of classes because I was just that smart. I'm kidding, I'm not that conceded.

When he told me that he got lost easily, he wasn't kidding. In the first five minutes of school, Austin had ended up on the opposite side of the building that he was supposed to be on, and I had to run and get him so he didn't get into too much trouble.

"Mr. Lanki, this is Austin Carlile. He got lost on the way here." The teacher nodded his head and waved his hand for us to sit down. He taught math, which was my best and worst subject. I mean, I was good at it, but I hated it with a burning passion.

"Hey Austin," a girl named Haley said to him. "why are you hanging out with this ginger fag? Why not us?" She winked at him and grabbed his hand, trying to pull him to where her slut group was sitting.

He ripped his hand away and looked at them with disgust. "I would rather stay here with Alan, which is his name by the way."

"Oh come on Austin, won't you please sit with us? We're way better than him." She spat the last word out with venom and glared at me. I put my head down and pretended to be working on my homework.

"Look, I would seriously prefer it if you left us alone. We're trying to work and your sluttiness and fake eyelashes are distracting me. Why don't you go annoy someone who actually likes girls?" He nonchalantly pulled our math book towards him and smiled at me. My mouth hung open as Haley walked away crying.

Some of the kids started laughing, and we laughed with them.

"Kids, quiet down! There's work to be done!" Actually, I finished like five minutes ago, but whatever. I just helped Austin finish his. He sucked at algebra.

The bell rang and we went to our other classes, though I had to babysit him. I swear, this kid was like a broken compass. I tell him to turn right and he tries to walk back the way we came.

When lunch came, I brought him to the courtyard. It was quieter out here, and people don't usually get on me when I'm hiding out of sight.

I took out my lunch, but noticed that Austin didn't have anything.

"Where's your lunch?" I asked him.

"Oh... I forgot it at home. And I don't eat school food because I have no idea what's in it. There could be razor blades in it for all we know!" We laughed, but I put my apple in his hand. He took a bite and I smiled.

"So Alan, can I ask you a question?" He asked after a couple minutes.

"Ask away."

"Why do they treat you like that?" I paled. I don't like talking about this.

"I don't know... Why don't you ask them? They can probably tell you better than I can." I started cleaning up and walked to my locker, though I didn't plan on going to class. I'll just say I had a panic attack.

"What class do you have next?" I took his schedule from him. Shit. We had German together.

"I'll walk you to German, but I think I'm going to skip. If the teacher asks, which I doubt he will because he knows that I'm way ahead, just tell him I had a panic attack. I don't want to deal with anyone right now." Austin nodded his head and we went our separate ways.

I half-ran to the bathroom, making sure I had my pencil bag. I always kept blades with me at all times, just incase something like this happened. I mean, it wasn't Austin's fault, but I can't handle this right now. I was shaking.

I locked myself in a stall and dug into my bag, finding a blade from an old box cutter that my dad had. It was so beautiful.

The blade touched my thigh and I sighed, begging for the relief. It had been three days since I had cut, and my body had been going through withdrawals. I never kept track of how many times I put a blade to my skin, but when I looked down, my leg was mostly blood. It was everywhere.

"Fuck..."

I grabbed toilet paper and mopped up some of the blood. When the stuff on the floor was cleaned up, the door to the bathroom opened and someone came in. My leg still hadn't stopped bleeding.

"Alan? Are you okay?" Oh shit. It was Austin.