Set My Whole World On Fire (Austlan Cashby)

Danny Worsnop is a bitch

Hey loves. I'm sorry I haven't been updating much, but I've been super busy with band stuff and shows and school. Yeah, lame excuses I know but anyways .. WARNING: TRIGGERING AND CLIFFHANGER (mwahahaha)

Alan POV

I awoke, once again wrapped in someone's embrace. I felt so dead and very naucious. I knew that if I didn't get up, I would vomit all over Austin and be would be angry at me.

Uncaring if I woke my angel, I ripped myself from his arms and ran straight towards the bathroom. He called my name, but I didn't hear him over the sound of my retching.

I felt a hand rubbing my back and I covered my face with my hands so he wouldn't see me. I probably looked like I had died, been brought back to life, and painted white for show. Yeah, I was pretty good at metaphors.

I glanced at myself in the mirror and found that my suspicions were correct, but Austin looked at me with deep concern. He brushed the hair out of my face and kissed my sweaty forehead. I heard someone calling our names from Austin's bedroom.

"Boys? Where are you?" It was Austin's dad.

"In here dad! Alan isn't feeling so good." He wrapped his long arms around me and smiled softly.

"Well... Okay! You two an stay home from school as long as you pick up your homework or make it up. I have to go to work now, so be safe. I hope you feel better Alan." He patted the doorframe and left.

I was carried back to the comfy bed. Nothing seemed better than this moment. I didn't have to go to school, didn't have to go home, and I ha someone who could actually put a smile on my face watching over me.

He went into the hallway and grabbed the thermometer, putting the cool metal under my tongue until it beeped. He bit his lip and showed it to me. The small, digital numbers read 103.2.

"I'm going to get you some Advil and cold water okay? I'll be right back." He walked out of the room and I pulled the blankets over my head. Now that I was alone, images of what happened the night before started rushing back to me. I didn't want to cry, so I just held my knees to my chest, letting out shaky breaths every so often. I was mad at myself for causing Austin all this trouble.

I knew that I had a blade or three in the back of my phone, but I didn't dare move to get for fear of Austin seeing and taking them away. The urges to self harm was so intense, I just settled on scratching at my wrists.

When I heard footsteps, I quickly pulled down my sleeve. The tall boy walked in seconds later with ice water, Advil, and a slice of toast with nothing on it. I gave him a smile and he returned it, sitting beside my legs.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Like complete shit." My voice sounded extremely hoarse. I swallowed my medicine and sipped at my water.

"I'm sorry. I wish there was more I could do..." I shook my head. He was doing all he could, why would he want to do more?

We stayed like that for awhile; me munching on toast and water and Austin sprawled out on his bed. He looked so gorgeous.

"Hey... I have a question." I said, breaking the silence.

"What's up?" He tilted his head and smiled again.

"I'm just... Wondering what we are. Are we friends? Are we more? I'm just wondering..." I felt my face heat up and the embarrassment of the question.

He looked at the ceiling for a minute, thinking methodically about it. "I think... We're definitely more than friends, but not dating. I mean, we just met yesterday. Not that I don't wanna date you, because I do. I just want to get to know you first. Maybe go out a few times before we decide what we want to do. I don't know." He was worried I would be upset with the answer. I wasn't.