Set My Whole World On Fire (Austlan Cashby)

Coffee Shop Apologies

Wow, coming up on twenty chapters soon! Things are getting too spicy for the pepper, huh? Anyways, you guys should check out my one-shots! There are actually some pretty good ones in there! Enjoy the chapter!

--------------------------------------------------------

-Alan POV-

"What were you thinking?!" I yelled, panic ripping the air out of my lungs. Why would Vic do this? Why would he hurt Kellin? I'm okay with how things are. Actually, maybe I wasn't.

"Seriously? First I get bitched at by Phil, and now you're running around crying over the fact I beat up the boyfriend that beat you, me, and your ex! He doesn't deserve anything from you, Alan! I'm sick of this! I'm done letting you do this to yourself because you're upset over Austin. He. Has. Oli. Now. Get that through your head. I don't like it, Phil doesn't like it, Mike doesn't like it, Tino doesn't like it. No one likes it. Stop being a little bitch about it." I stared at him. This was my best friend telling me these things. This was my best friend telling me I was being a whiny bitch.

My heart felt like it had been shattered in two. The only reason I bothered staying in this hell hole was because Vic encouraged me that life wasn't that bad. He encouraged me to believe I was worthy of life, but now he was going back on what he had said and breaking my spirit again.

I turned around and left him standing there, angry and virtually seething. I heard him yell at me as I left, but I couldn't exactly make out what he said. It probably wasn't very nice.

I walked for a long time, my mind going over every horrible thing I was. I thought Vic would have known that I wasn't capable of handling stuff like that. From Kellin? I guess so. From Vic, or Austin, or Phil? No. I can't do that.

I wanted Kellin right now. I didn't care if he hit me. He only hit me when I deserved it and I obviously deserved it a lot. I was snarky and rude and I always spoke out of turn. I wasn't pretty enough and I was emo because I was sad all the time. If I was just happy and always did what Kellin told me, he wouldn't have to hurt me. He's just trying to correct me and shape me to be a good boyfriend.

He was so sweet though. He would cuddle with me when I wasn't feeling good and buy me flowers and chocolates after teaching me how to better myself. Sometimes he would make us a lovely dinner and we would have cheesy movie nights.

The only thing I really hated was how he would force me to have sex with him sometimes. He hasn't done it in a while, but he would tell me he wanted to have sex and would eventually get it even if I said I didn't want to. He would either beat me until I have in or just... be really aggressive with me. I didn't like it. I wanted sex to be nice and lov- I mean, nice and caring.

I felt like I was losing everyone who was holding me here. They were being taken away from me or I was pushing them away. I was left feeling more alone than I ever have before because now I knew what it was like to have quality friends. I had never really had friends before Austin. Austin was the gateway to a large group of friends that made everything easier. Things weren't easy anymore though. They were so much harder. Almost too hard.

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and dialled Kellin's number. It rang once, twice, three time, and when I thought I was going to get his voicemail, his comforting voice rang through the speakers.

"Hey baby, what's up?" I smiled when I heard his high-pitched voice. It sent little fires through my stomach. Fires of comfort.

"I-I, um... are you home? Are you okay? Vic told me he a-attacked you. You're not really hurt, are you?" I asked him. I really was worried. Kellin can't swim. Vic threw him in a pool or something like that and he can't swim. I wondered if he drowned and some stranger had to pull him out. Then again, who would be nice enough to do something like that. Maybe I'm talking to his ghost.