Set My Whole World On Fire (Austlan Cashby)

Life and the Beauty of It

Okay, new thing guys. I want to get 50 reads and 5 comments on this chapter before I update next! Honestly, this could probably be the last chapter, but I don't want to do that because there's still so much left that could be said! So... yeah!

50 reads, 5 comments!

Three weeks. Twenty-one days. Five-hundred-and-four hours. Thirty-thousand, two-hundred-and-forty minutes. One-million, eight-hundred-and-fourteen-thousand, four-hundred seconds. All of them spent without Austin. I haven't gone to school, I haven't gotten out of bed, I haven't even had enough energy to eat anything unless Vic came in to the guest bedroom and shoved something down my throat. I know they were worried. It was all in vain though.

I contemplated going back home. Going home would give me the pain I desperately craved but was too lazy to inflict on myself. But going back to that hell would require work and effort I wasn't ready to put forth. I'm pretty sure I've lost like fifteen pounds since Austin left me.

I'm not unsympathetic, believe me. I know why he broke up with me and I know that it's the right thing to do, but I'm nothing without him. Austin was my rock and I was his. Being with him helped me to forget about the abuse I suffered, the low self-esteem that coursed through my veins, and the horrible things that Kellin did to me. Maybe I'm just a drama queen.

I didn't even remember what happened, so why did I feel so disgusting? Why did it feel so wrong? Why did I feel like I betrayed everyone who had ever put faith in me? I shouldn't be feeling like this when Vic and Austin had it so much worse than me. A lot of people have had a lot worse.

The only thing I had to remind me that Austin even ever existed was Nala. I realised about a week after I had taken her that it was my name spelled backwards. It should have made me happy, but it only made me feel more miserable. I know I was only letting myself wallow in my sorrow, but I didn't know how to do anything else. And frankly, I didn't care about being happy anymore; it was too much work.

There was a knock at my door. I furrowed my eyebrows and groaned, figuring they, whoever they were, would go away if Made enough disgrunted noises. They knocked again and opened the door. The person standing there was one of the last people I expected. Standing in the doorway, a horrified and worried expression on his face, was Aaron.

"Oh Alan... What have you done to yourself?" I watched him as he walked over to my bed, kneeling down and gingerly moving my greasy, disgusting hair out of my face.

I smiled. "The problem isn't what I've done to myself, it's what I haven't done anything to myself, isn't it?" I chuckled vexatiously. My raspy voice was cringe-worthy, but I spoke on. "What are you doing here anyways?"

"Vic got my number from Aus- someone to call and tell me you were sick. He explained to me everything that happened, so I drove down here to check on and take care of you. I didn't know you were this sick..." I pushed away the hand that was still resting on my cheek.

"I don't want your sympathy. Please, just go away." I was choking up. This isn't what I wanted for myself. Could he just leave me alone?

"I won't give you sympathy, but I'm not going to leave you alone. You know what we're going to do? We're going to get you out of bed and you're going to shower because, no offence, you smell terrible. Come on, up and atom!" There was no way in hell he was getting me to stand up, at least, that's what I thought.

To my dismay, he picked me up off my bed and carried me into the bathroom. We passed a stupefied-looking Vic on the way, his mouth open slightly at the fact that Aaron was forcing me out of my hidey-hole. I wanted to feel angry, but I was just tired. Tired and defeated.