Set My Whole World On Fire (Austlan Cashby)

I'm Not Elsa; I Can't Just Let This Go

Oh, hello there! So, it seems that this is 4500+ words and I am proud of myself. I got this out in less than a week (barely), so I really hope you like it! The person who can name all the lyric references gets a dedication next chapter, okay? Cool c: Bon appitit :*

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Vic was right when he told Mike they were more than dead.

The boys had taken me home, Mike helping me into the house because I struggled to move on my own. Austin's dad wasn't home because he was still at work being the workaholic he is. Well, he was just trying to make a living.

Vic and Mike spent a half an hour trying to make me look presentable. Vic tried to talk to me multiple times, but I didn't respond to him. He started to get pissed off half way through and ended up storming off. He said something about me being a whiny bitch.

It was good to know he cared.

When Austin came home, I ran and hid in the bathroom. He asked where I was. Vic and Mike were left to explain that they weren't there to help me while I was getting the crap beat out of me. One of them got punched in the face, but I didn't know which until I came out of the small room.

"Why the hell did you hit me? It was just as much Mike's fault! What the hell, man?!" Vic exclaimed angrily. I didn't mind he got punched in the face.

"Because you were the one who promised me you would keep him safe! How dare you! Maybe you should actually think about his well-being and not your own for once!" Austin retorted, pulling his arm back to hit him again.

I stepped up, my voice weak but full. "Austin, just stop. Please? It wasn't their fault, okay? The only person you have to blame is Ben."

Austin's eyes grew wide when he saw the sight of my face. I knew I should have probably gone to the ER or Urgent Care or something, but I didn't think it was really worth it. We had snapped my nose back into place and, if I taped it, it would heal on its own. My hand, however, was a mess. I had no idea how I was going to play with it and I didn't think it could heal on its own. I probably needed pins or something in it.

Austin's fingers gently stroked my face, reminding me of the times Kellin would touch me. I didn't like it. In fact, the action caused me to recoil away from his touch. I instantly regretted it though. His face dropped and grew anxious when I backed away.

"I'm sorry. Just, please don't do that. Kellin did that." I wondered if Kellin did it to him too.

You know, as long as I had known Austin, I had never discovered what life with Kellin had been like for him. I could assume what it was like considering I had lived through it, but I just couldn't make assumptions.

Everyone was different. Kellin was more violent with Vic because Vic defied him constantly, challenging his authority. For me, he used me sexually because I wasn't strong enough to say no and allowed him to do whatever he wanted. It didn't take long for him be able to control and take advantage of me. I had no idea what he did to Austin.

Austin dropped his hand, apologising. Honestly, I didn't even know what we were anymore. He called me our pet names and we cuddled and he comforted me, but we had never made what we had official.

I hadn't even really bothered thinking about the label of 'boyfriend'. When he broke up with Oli and I managed to forgive him for ever being with him in the first place, we just fell back into how we used to be with each other. He was sweet and romantic and usually there when I needed him.

I wondered what it would be like to be us again. Would adhering to the label change the way we acted with each other? Would it change the way we do think or the way we worked? Would it change the light I knew was present in my eyes when he was with me? I didn't know. A relationship means commitment and I didn't know if I was ready for such a title.