A Guide To Becoming A Teenage Hipster

Step [4]: Undie Shorts

CHAPTER FOUR: ALL WORK AND NO PLAY

    "OI...WHERE ARE  all the guys, man?”

    “Shut up.” Tyler barks, as he gawks at the flock of birds dressed in skirts, standing  less than a 100 metres away. “Go away. I have work to do.” With that, he struts over the overflowing group of raging estrogen, stopping near a tall brunette—who I must admit looked crazy hot. I slide behind him quietly to eavesdrop.

    “Hey girls” I hear Tyler tease, his voice changing shockingly from asshole to charmer in a matter of a few seconds. “Any good parties tonight?”

    “Probably. Who are you?” The brunette asks, her perfect eyebrows raised, making her look even hotter.

    Damn, I wish I was her.

    “Oh no Ty! I’m so sorry girls! Tyler just got here, and he's a little too excited, y’know?” I intervene, swinging my T-shirt cladded arm around Tyler’s neck. “He’s been home schooled his whole life, so he's just really stoked is all.”

    “Aww, it’s okay.” The brunette says, giving me a million dollar, white, gunk free, smile; while Tyler looked at me like I was running a bulldozer over his private parts. “I’m Jess, what’s your name lovely?”

     “Cinta! But hey, are there any good parties?” I ask, as I slowly withdraw my arm off Tyler, becoming more afraid by the second that he was going to chop my head off.

    “Oh my god, yes! Come on, I’ll tell you all about it” Jess says, before grabbing my arm and dragging me off, leaving Tyler all alone.

     Uh oh. Poor little Tyler.

     “Thanks for that darling. Guys these days are just cray-zee you know?” Jess whispers in my ear, as we walk away from Tyler, still staring at us in dumbstruck horror. “He seems to not handle rejection well!” She says, giggling as she glances back at him.

     “That’s probably because the guy’s never been rejected.”

     Jess gives me the, oh tell me more look, so I continue. “Lets just say, he’s super rich and super athletic. His father hired me as his ‘swim assistant’” I air quote.

    “Swim assistant. Wait. Was his name Tyler?” She asks, her eyes wide like saucers.

    “Yeah. Tyler Waterford. Let me guess, you know him.” I deadpan.

    “Who doesn't! Everyone’s been talking about him. He’s the only way Winthrop can beat Curtin in the swim-off this year!”

    “Winthrop? So that’s the name of this place huh…” I say, as I glance around the large blue and white campus that was surrounded by bush land. Jessica gives me a funny look at this. “It’s a long story.” I shrug, not in the mood to tell the girl about my jail experience quite yet.

    “So wait. You said you were his swim assistant right?” 

    “Yeah. Why?”

    “Well,  one of the things that I’ve heard about Tyler Waterford,  is that his last swim assistant was Bianca Gnomes. You probably don’t know who she is, but she was the most popular, down to earth girl you could ever meet, and she had a three year relationship with this guy.”

    “Let me guess, was the guy Tyler?”

    “No, it wasn’t. Listen Cinta! So anyway, Tyler chooses her as his swim assistant, and of course she says yes.”