Inked [Harry Styles]

xxv. kiss

It was a week or two since I awoke, and nothing much had changed since Harry and I's breakdown. 

Niall and the other lads had visited me a few times, bringing their happy atmosphere along with them and their company made me brighten up and let a laugh part my lips. Alice had stayed by my withered side day in and day out, and I’d even heard that Alexandra had broken up with Harry since she knew she would always be a rebound.

It was the day of Josh’s funeral and the moment I stepped into the dampened church; all eyes were on Alice and I as we shuffled to the front. The black dress swishing at my thighs matched with the colour scheme of the whole church and the flats slipped on my feet were comfortable and much better than massive heels that I would totter about in.

I turned my head to the left and saw the familiar mop of hair styled in a quiff and the four other familiar heads sat on the pew next to me. The cool mahogany wood was seeping its coldness into my fibres and I pulled my leather jacket tighter over my torso.

The vicar started a long drone of mournful remembrances, causing Alice to burst into tears and me to wrap a comforting arm around her shawl clad shoulder. Harry gave us a cold stare making me roll my eyes in his direction; this didn’t have the intended reaction though.

He closed his eyes, threw his head back and a few glassy tears slid down his cheeks, making my heart run round in circles. Standing up, he pushed past the other boys and ran out of the church, everyone hearing him blubbering like a baby.

Slumping Alice onto the burly bodyguard next to me, I pushed past the strangers on my pew and hobbled after Harry, as my crutches meant I couldn’t run. Feeling the cold air nip at my heels, I followed the disturbing gagging sounds coming from the other side of the church.

I turned the corner and saw Harry, bent down towards a bush, vomiting all his nerves out of his stomach. First instincts made me hop over to him as quick as I possibly could and patted his back lightly which made him snap up in attention. Wiping his saliva coated mouth with the expensive suit sleeve; he ignored me and went to sit down on the curb.

Laying my crutches down on the ground next to me, I smoothed my dress down and sat beside him. Unfortunately, he shuffled away from me like I carried the plague causing me to sigh in agitation.

“I don’t know what you want from me Harry,” I sighed, burying my head into my hands exasperated. “You finally have what you wanted in the first place and now you’re just pushing me away.”

“I thought you didn’t want me,” Was the mutter I received, making me even more agitated than I was previously.

“I’ve always wanted you Harry Styles, just been too shy to say so, does that make me weak? Does it make me not worthy of your love?” I asked him, the anger and stress rising up in my body.

“You always pushed me away Evelynn, even in the end. I’m not a mind reader!” He argued, standing up to his full – scary – height making me fly up slowly, as I was more injured than him.

“So you’re saying that this is my entire fault, because I’m shit at displaying my emotions?”

“No, but you could have tried slightly harder or at least pretended to be interested!”

“You’re such a hypocrite Harry! All you wanted was for me to love you so we could dance underneath the stars together and you finally had the chance and you pushed it away! You had me all open, all yours but you went off with Alexandra. Not once did you see me go off with another man because I wanted to be with you, not anyone else Harry, you.”

“Well sorry, but maybe you can’t handle the pressure that comes with being my girlfriend. There are the media that would constantly be saying that I would be cheating because I have girls that are friends, the fans would gang up on you, making you feel like a worthless piece of shit. It’s not fun Evelynn, and I just want to save myself of the heartbreak that would happen when you’d dump me!”

“You’re saying that I’m not strong and at one sniff of trouble I’d be gone then? I was in the army, not the fucking popstar land. I know how hard it is to face consequences and you should know that. I know about the hate that I’d get for being your girlfriend but that shouldn’t matter because all that would matter is that we wanted to be together. You’re saying that you wouldn’t mind if I never even gave you the chance!”

“Stop twisting my words Evelynn. All I was saying is that you wouldn’t take the pressure of being with me, the media and just me in general. I’m not all the fans like to portray of me, I’m not a saint but I’m sure as hell not a sinner. I make mistakes, fuck; I’m a normal human being! I want you to have a perfect guy, who won’t treat you like a rag doll but then I want you to be mine as well, but I’m not good enough for you!”

“If anything, I’m not good enough for you Harry! I’m just the broken army girl who gives up anything and makes shit out of everything and you’re a popstar with enough money to last you a lifetime and the charm and personality of an angel. You’re good looking, you’re sweet and motivating. You’re everything I wish that I could have Harry Styles.”

“I don’t want to be the angel all the time, but do I have to be an angel around you Evelynn? If you say yes, then I’m leaving. I’m leaving you for good Evelynn, and I won’t look back.”

“I-I want you to be you.”

“Is that a yes then?” He finally asked, his hot and angry breath fanning my cupids bow as we were head to head in defence.

“Y-Yes.”

Was the only thing I had to mutter in order for him to turn his heels and me to only see the drooping hairs on the nape of his neck. This was it,  the final chance I had to change his angel mind.

“If you leave now, if you go back into that church without looking back then it’s over Harry Styles. I will never even consider speaking to you again and you will have to forget about me. This is your last chance Harry, please look back?” I pleaded and spat. My face crumbling in sadness and hope, every second feeling like a lifetime.

The silence could kill between the two of us.

Then, in split seconds he turned around and whispered a gentle, “fuck it,” before slipping his hand around my face and moulding his thin lips to mine.

Feeling as if I was in heaven, I kissed back passionately and manoeuvred my hands around his shoulders and tickling the small hairs at the nape of his neck. Tears mixed upon made the kiss twinge with sadness but it was still mind-blowing no matter what emotions we felt.

After an eternity, he pulled away and leant his forehead on mine, both out of breath and guilty to swollen lips.

“I love you Evelynn Alison Rose, please be mine and never leave me, ever again,” Was the proposal to me.

“I love you too Harry Edward Styles and I promise,”

After those life changing words, we resumed our kiss and I could never be happier.

After many months of confusing life changes, compromises, crashes and love, this is what it all turns out to be. Harry and I, against the world with our swollen lips and never ending mood swings.

This is what happens when someone gets inked for you.

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A/N:  I'm very sorry, but this story is at its end. 

This is the very last official chapter of this journey, and what a good un. There will be an epilogue, playlist and final authors note after this, and then it will have a little green check mark afterwards. 

thank you, all of you. i love you. x