Sauli or Alexis?

Chapter 28: I Can't Say Goodbye

WARNING: This chapter is really sad! its a shorter one too, but they will get longer from here on out! I promise! :) and they won't be so depressing!!

Alex's POV:

          The last sentence made me cringe.. "Someday." I don't know if I can wait that long to see Addy. But I can't forgive myself for what happened..

*13 years back*

       "Your doing fine honey, just keep your eye on the road." My dad said reassuringly.

       "I'm trying.. First time driving is scary dad."

       "You'll be okay, you've got to practice if you want to get better Alexis." My moms voice always calmed me..She made everything better. My dad agreeed with me. She was such a great person. She didn't deserve to die.. neither did my dad..

        I just turned onto the highway and I was going slower than the other cars so I began to speed up. All of the cars were closer to me. My heart began to beat faster. No way out. I wanted to get out of the car and just leave.  I wasn't ready for driving.

       Out of nowhere, a car slammed his brakes right in front of us.. I tried to stop but it was no use.  I wish I hadn't lived through that.. I would be with my parents and I wouldn't have met Adam. Then there wouldn't be a reason for me to stay here on the Earth. I could be high in the clouds. But something is keeping me here and I don't know if I should ignore it, or listen. I killed two amazing people. Let alone my own parents. I could have stopped in time. I could have tried harder to keep the ones I love alive. The worst thing is seeing your parents next to you, just sitting there lifeless..blood dripping off their heads..hearts stopped..souls missing..I can't do it. I can't go on.

      I was now sobbing, harder than I ever have before. I am going to end it..I can't take hurting like this anymore. So I walked over to my cabinet and grabbed some pills. Adam's pounding has stopped. If he has given up so should I. I swallowed pill after pill. Then I grabbed the knife and started cutting.. so deep, so soothing. Blood was now pouring out of my arms.. its almost over.

       Before I could continue on I saw something outside of my glass door. It was a figure standing there..  they began running for my door. The glass shattered and a strong force tackled me to the ground. I thought for sure it was Zach again and that I was going to die right then and there.

        "Please.. just kill me. I'm ready.."

        The man sitting on top of me was not Zach. Once I said those words he started to cry. It was Adam. I could make out some features on his face, but things were becoming blurry.. I was having trouble breathing and Adam was noticing.

      "Alex stay with me baby, the ambulance is on its way. I can't loose you. Please. I love you."

       Adam kissed me, and I remember now how much I truely love him. I can't leave. I can't go and cause someone so important to me so much pain. I tried as hard as I could to stay with him, but things were starting to become black. I didn't want it to be the end. I was wrong. I wanna stay here with Adam. Forever. Just me and him. But I could feel death inching over me..  I cried out "I love you Adam."