LEMONADE :: ZAYN

denial

I tried to change, closed my mouth more, tried to be soft, prettier, less awake. Fasted for sixty days, wore white, abstained from mirrors. Abstained from sex, slowly did not speak another word. In that time my hair I grew past my ankles. I slept on a mat on a floor.I swallowed a sword, I levitated into the basement...

I whipped my own back and asked for dominion at your feet. I threw myself in a volcano. I drank the blood and drank the wine...

But still inside me coiled deep was the need to know

Are you cheating on me?

°°°

"You've gotta help me."

Her best friend looked at her weirdly. "What's going on?"

Gizelle looked behind her before leaning in over the counter. Zayn was about to be headed for work and she planned on following. It may have been a crazy idea, but she'd go to great lengths to find out an obvious truth. If he wasn't cheating, then what was he doing?

"I think Zayn's cheating on me," she whispered while Dana gasped, a hand going to her mouth, "yeah, so I'm gonna snoop around."

"How do you think he is?" she whispered incredulously, "I mean, what's been happening?"

"All the signs are there, Dana," Gizelle rolled her eyes, "and...and it's been going on for months, I think. Plus, this morning, I found a blonde hair on his coat and," she touched her own straight black hair, "I'm pretty sure this isn't blonde."

"Damn," Dana sat back, "so, what do I do?"

"Just watch Amal for me. I was supposed to take her with me to work today but I'm not going. I have to wait for him to leave, though."

Dana nodded and shut up as soon as they heard Zayn come downstairs with his giggling daughter.

"Hey, Zelle," he smiled warmly, a smile she hadn't seen in a long time, "she's up early, yeah?"

"I'd say so. What are you doing, Mally-Wally?"

She giggled and kissed her mother's cheek, lots of saliva as usual.

"I gotta go to work," Zayn said, letting Amal crawl onto Gizelle's lap, "I'll see you guys tonight," he kissed his daughters forehead and his wife's lips, shuffling on his blazer and heading for the door.

"What a bastard," Dana said sarcastically, "seems like a normal day."

"Dana, this one time can you believe in me?" Gizelle said in exasperation, "I swear on everything he's doing something."

"Okay, okay. I trust you, Z. Just don't make it a huge scene. I know how you get."

"Your support is forever uplifting."

°°°

She swore she was dreaming.

Not dreaming, having the worst nightmare that just so happened to come to life. The thing she most feared was coming to life right before her eyes.

Gizelle sat in her car, parked in between two big trucks to hide from her husband. Her hands groped the steering wheel until her knuckles were six shades lighter than her skin tone, basically white. Her teeth were clenched and her eyes were set on what was happening three rows down and seven cars over.

Zayn Malik was walking to the other side of his truck, opening the door for another person. Gizelle knew he carpooled with a few of his friends but this was just one person. And she was female.

He was smiling, something he didn't do around her. She hadn't changed in the two years of marriage and the extra six of being best friends. Zayn had changed, though, for she didn't remember the last time he told her he loved her.

The smallest tear ran down Gizelle's cheek as she watched Zayn kiss this girl's cheek. Her skin was fair and her hair was blonde and long, reaching bottom of her spine. Her eyes were blue, most likely, and she most likely wasn't that attractive.

Zayn kissed her forehead and laughed at her stupid face.

Gizelle had enough, getting out the car and locking it as she calmly walked towards the two. Her arms were crossed to protect her from the wind. She looked up just in time to see Zayn's face pale as he looked behind the woman and at her wife.

"Zelle," he sighed, moving past the white girl and walking up to her, "what are you doing here?"

"What are you doing with her?" Gizelle asked kindly. She was so close to snapping.

"She's my--"

"Side chick, I know--"

"That's not--"

"You're so dumb, Zayn," she shook her head and hummed at her idiot of a husband, "how do you think I wasn't going to find out? You've been coming home late smelling like cheap Walmart perfume and lipstick stains on your shirt collar. Who the fuck do you think washes the clothes?"

"G--"

"You've gotta be the most dumb, idiotic person to ever cheat on me," she laughed, "you know how I am. Or do you? Because you're never around to know. I decided I'd rather be crazy than jealous of what's going on here."

"Nothing is--"

"Stop fucking lying to me!" she yelled, startling him, "that's the last thing you want to do."

"G, I didn't want you to find out like this," Zayn pleaded, "I love you, I promise. Just, she caught me at my--"

"Weakest moment, yes. Cute, but I don't care," she shook her head, "I don't think there was anyone on this earth that loved you more than I did. I...you were my best friend and I confided in you. We loved each other, we got married. You lied down with me and had a child and you wanna waste all of that, all of those sacred times on just the one moment when you were weak?"

"You--"

"Let's say you weren't the CEO of your own company and fucking loaded with money you don't even know what to do with. You think she'd be around? Do you think anyone would give a fuck about you?"

"Giz--"

"I would!" Gizelle pointed to herself, "I've loved you before that. I supported you when no one else did. I still love you. And then you go out and do this!"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it--"

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

What the--

"Take a fucking guess," Gizelle didn't even look at the girl when she answered her, "I was his wife."

°°°

HOLD UP

sorry, bye